thirty-five

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They say time flies when you're having fun. In this case, time was definitely flying but Y/N wasn't having fun. Not at all.

Things slowly began to get back to normal but that feeling of emptiness never left. That huge void was still there, waiting to be filled. Instead of that void being closed with normality, it was filled with sadness and depression.

Everyone else smiled, laughed and talked like normal but there was one person who remained indifferent and that was Y/N.

She was always quiet and tired. Flashbacks of her hands soaked with blood filled her head at night when she tried to sleep, that week of horrors imbedding itself in her brain, clouding away any happy thoughts.

Her appetite was nearly gone. If she did have an appetite, she'd force it to go away somehow. The weight gain from the pregnancy made her feel so much worse. She would stand in front of the mirror, scowling at the scar on her bikini line from the c-section.

All of the clothes that she bought to impress Taehyung didn't fit anymore and neither did the clothes from her old wardrobe. Today, she was out with Taehyung and Jimin to get some new clothes.

"What about this?" Jimin picked up a pastel colored blouse and held it up to Y/N's chest. She looked down at herself in disgust, the pretty top being too small for her curvier figure. "..Or not." Jimin mumbled, putting the shirt back on the rack.

Taehyung silently followed the two of them around, not really knowing what to do. A saleswoman approached the three of them as they walked into a different store. "Hi, is there anything I can help you guys with?" she smiled brightly, seeming to ignore Y/N's presence.

"No we're-" Y/N was interrupted by Taehyung. "Actually, we do. Can you help my wife please?" he asked and Y/N sighed because the question was so unnecessary.

The woman's smile falters slightly at the word wife and she turns to face Y/N, looking at her up and down. "Sure, follow me." her tone drops a bit but the three follow her either way.

The lady guides the trio towards the back of the store. Y/N's stoic mood plummets even further as she realizes that the lady took them to the plus size section. She walks up to a random rack and grabs a huge sweater that looks like something an elderly woman would wear. "This should do!" she holds it up with a bitter smile.

Y/N stares at the sweater and then looks back at the woman. She knows she gained quite a bit of weight but this woman was obviously fat shaming her. Without a word, she turns around and walks out of the store. That lady knew what she was doing and Y/N knew that she needed to leave right away because she might've let her emotions take over her at any second.

With a sigh, she sits down at a bench near the store, watching as the people stroll around the mall. She envies how these strangers can smile and look good. She wants to smile and not only does she want to look good but she wants to feel good as well.

Her previously flat stomach was replaced with a bigger tummy. Her face got fuller and her thighs and breasts grew in size. In other countries, her body would be perfect and desirable, but not here in Korea.

She could feel the judging glares of the woman and the predatory stare of the men, staring at her every curve in either a sexual way or a disgusted way. Taehyung hasn't said anything but she can't help but feel like he hates it. He must hate walking around with a woman who probably weighs more than he does and has to wear his clothes because hers don't fit.

Taehyung sighed as Y/N left the store and turned to face the woman again. "Did you enjoy doing that?" he asks, catching her off guard. Jimin puts a hand on his shoulder, knowing he was about to say something to hurt her feelings. "You're ugly anyway. Why would you think you could get my attention like that? Bitch." he laughs in her face and walks away.

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