Won't Let Go

twenty

Reading the love letters written by her younger self made Natasha realize, how hopelessly and madly in love she was with Farhan. She has always been in love with him. Even before Farhan or Haya developed feelings for each other, she was in love with him. Which she realized only just now. And to think that she was ready to let go of Farhan once upon a time and not confess her feelings to him has amazed her.

What would she do if Farhan married Haya and she married someone else? The thought itself was terrifying her and she didn't want to think about it now. Too many negative thoughts are not good for your health anyway.

Natasha was too much of a coward to admit it aloud in the beginning and by the time she was preparing herself; Farhan and Haya were already flirting with each other, every single day. Which she wouldn't lie, has made her feel so envious of Haya. And it was too much of a miracle that she somehow got Farhan himself as her husband, and now, she wouldn't let him go away from her. Not happening!

Chucking the file of letters, yes there was so many of them and she wanted to preserve all of it, hence the file. After chucking them in, she closed the wardrobe shut annoyedly. What if she has written his name in all of these and how the heck would she explain it to him then? Was she even going to say that it was him, who she loves like a madwoman? No. Not today, but maybe someday. Right now, she is just too mad at him for invading her space and going through her letters.

And to say he was mad about those letters was making her fume in anger. Didn't he also love someone else before marriage? Which made him more or less a hypocrite.

UGH! Farhan

In order to stop thinking about him, she jumped on to the bed and buried herself into the blanket.

She shut her eyes close and pretended to be asleep when Farhan walked into the room, his eyes lingered on the bed for more than a minute which made her gulp in nervousness.

Remember; you should be mad at him, Nats. Stop being nervous.

It wasn't her fault anyway. He made her very nervous sometimes.

"Stop being cute, I'm mad at you." Farhan slipped under the blankets and she turned away from him, facing the other side. He chuckled at that.

"You have no right to be mad. Remember you used to love someone else before marriage. Did I complain?" she huffed in anger, leaving him speechless for a while.

"I don't, now." she snapped her head at that, almost immediately as she sat up.

"What?" assuming that she didn't hear him right the first time, Natasha asked again. Farhan gave her an amused smile, "I stopped loving Haya a long ago." Her eyes widened at that.

"You never told me?" she asked, half surprised and half angrily.

"Was I supposed to?" Farhan asked cluelessly making her want to smack his gorgeous face, "of course. I'm your wife, aren't I?"

"So?" a sly smile forms on his lips as he watched her nose scrunching in anger, "so? What do you mean by so? You're my husband, right? I'm supposed to know all of this, dumbo!" by saying so, she began to hit on his chest with her pillow, shocking both him and her, but she continued anyway.

"Okay, okay! I'm sorry, really." Farhan gasped for air as she continued to hit him tirelessly.

"You don't love Haya anymore?" Natasha pointed her fingers at his nose, as she asked him that, her face full of seriousness. He shook his head in no, trying hard not to laugh. She was just too cute.

"No?" he feigned being doubtful making her frown.

"No? No what?" he bursts out laughing at that. Making her frown more," I'm asking something. Tell me. Are you sure that you've stopped loving her?"

"Of course, I did. Stop being so cute." Farhan forgot all about his insecurities as he eyed his wife, who was being all cute and possessive over him which he found too adorable. He wished to pull her cheeks like he'd do every time. And nothing stopped him from doing just that, "aah! Stop pinching me. Are you sure that you don't love her?" Natasha asked again making him pinch her harder.

"Why are you so unsure? Is it that hard to believe?" Farhan asked again with a slightly hurt voice this time as he stopped pinching her. She eyed him, confusedly whilst rubbing her cheeks.

"I-I don't know? You loved her so much and it is hard to believe that you stopped loving her suddenly." it was her voice that sounded hurt now.

"But it's the truth, I've stopped loving her a long time ago. You don't have to worry too much because, all I want to do next is try and make this marriage work, at all costs." he held her hand in his and looked into her eyes, which stared back at him with so much of what? He had no idea. But there's something about the way she looks at him.

"But I want a promise from you though." Natasha raised her brows at that, "what?" she questioned him whilst squeezing his hand.

"Promise me, no matter what. You'd not leave me. Even if that lover of yours wanted you back, promise me that you won't leave me?" an involuntary tear rolled down her cheeks as she nodded her head, even though he was scared for no reason, for she would never leave him, but the way he asked her all of these has touched her heart, "I won't leave you, Farhan. Why is that hard to believe?" she came forward and hugged him tightly taking him by surprise. But he hugged her back anyway, way too tightly than the usual, just making sure that she was his and wouldn't leave him.

He didn't want to experience someone else leaving him all over again. Farhan got used to her presence too much and the thought of her leaving him one day scares him like crazy.

"Maybe because you loved that guy too much?" Natasha chuckled at his words, but she didn't pull back from the hug, "you can trust me. I'm not going to leave you. Not even in the dreams. Just don't break my heart." she mumbled against his chest.

Inhaling her strawberry flavoured shampoo, he hummed in response. She smelled so good though.

"You won't break my heart right?" she asked again, whilst hugging him more tightly. He smiled at her question, he could relate to her at so many levels, for he is as insecure as her right now.

"I won't break your heart. Wish you wouldn't break mine too?" he laughed lightly. Natasha broke the hug with a frown and stared at him, "I won't break your heart. If you won't break mine."

"Promise?"

"Promise." and now he initiated the hug, pulling her close into his embrace, holding onto her tightly. She hugged him back almost immediately, happy at the fact that it was him who is initiating things, which was a first. The smile on her face widens at that thought. It's really big progress if you ask her. He really was warming up to her. Her legs go to wrap around his torso, making it more comfortable for her to hug him, as they were sitting on the bed.

This is the longest they've ever hugged. And neither of them wanted to pull back.

I love you so much, Farhan. I can never imagine breaking your heart. Natasha smiled to herself as she felt the rhythm of his heart which was beating as fast as hers. Which meant only one thing; he is getting equally affected by this newfound proximity and that made her fall in love with him harder.

Farhan on the other hand was so confused. He loved holding her tightly and being close to her like this, if he could then he wouldn't let go of her at all.

What did that mean now?