Won't Let Go

twenty eight

Farhan gave a furious look to Natasha, who just woke up from her unconscious state ten minutes ago, "what the hell were you thinking?" he yelled at her angrily, making her flinch in fear.

He can be a little intimidating at times when he gets angry.

"Is the other person okay?" Natasha asked worryingly, she remembered how stupidly she has crashed into someone else's car too.

"Thank God that he is fine, you could be landing in jail for all we know." Farhan ran his hands through his hair, trying to control his frustration. The news of Natasha's accident has shaken him from within. The fear of something so brutal happening to her has given him a shock. The pain... It was something beyond him. Not even did heartbreak pain so much like the news of Natasha getting into a damn accident has pained him.

He felt like a crazy man. This woman is making him feel crazy things and he had no control over his feelings whatsoever.

"Did you ever think of me? If something happened to you, what will happen to me? Did you ever think of it?" he whisper yelled at her furiously.

She flinched yet again but gave him a cold stare. Just who did he think he was?

"What would have happened? You'd have cried for what? Maximum a week and then forget all about me and marry someone else of your mother's choice. Stop with your pretence." she snapped back at him, who looked quite taken aback.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean, Natasha?"

"It is what it is. You don't care about me, you never have. Please leave me alone, Farhan." Natasha sighed in exasperation, she was done with this nonsense. She was well aware of the fact that he married her only for his mother's sake and he will divorce her too if that's what his mother wants. We never know. And she is done getting her heartbroken. She is too weak for that. Her heart cannot take it anymore.

Not when she thought everything was going alright. But reality gave a big fat slap on her face.

"What do you mean to leave you alone? Have I not made it clear that I care for you? What made you think otherwise?" he tried to hold her hands which she jerked off in anger. His face didn't try and hide the hurt.

"You are going to leave me one day, so why to bother hurting the both of us. Just leave me alone for good." tears brimmed her eyes as she imagined him divorcing her and marrying that good for nothing Alisha. Her heart stung.

"What rubbish are you talking about Natasha? Why the hell will I leave you?" Farhan yelled at her in anger. Why was she so stupid?

"You will, I very well know of how I was forced into your life. You married me just because you had to. You loved and respected your mother too much to say no to her. What is the guarantee that you won't divorce me if she asks you to?" Natasha yelled back at him in anger, this time her tears were not in her control anymore.

"Why will she ask me to divorce you? Did you also hit your head anywhere or what? Who fed you with this rubbish?" Farhan groaned in irritation.

"She will ask you to divorce me if she had to save her marriage. I heard what your father said that night." Natasha got up from the hospital bed in frustration. He tried to make her sit, worrying about her condition but she was too stubborn for her own good. Her body ached, but not more than her heart.

One icy glare from her keeps him away.

Natasha has tried hard not to think of that night like ever, that was why she even stopped Farhan from talking anything regarding that. The feeling of humiliation and ignorance has broken her heart. It was still fresh. Even his father thinks that she is a misfit for Farhan. Which made her want to wail in sadness. But she pretended to be strong, that is until Alisha showed up and rubbed on her wounds.

All of this made her think that Farhan can leave her. She needed to guard her heart by walking away from him before he decides to kick her out himself. He is surely capable of that. She wants to protect her stupid heart, which still beats for him. The irony!

"Why am I not good enough for you? Why does everyone keep saying that?" she cried in sorrow. Unable to see her cry, Farhan pulled her into his embrace, which only made her cry harder. She buried her face into his chest and weeps loudly in pain, scaring him a little bit. But he rubbed on her back to try and comfort her, which kind of work. She stopped crying slowly.

Her sudden outburst of insecurities has shocked him so much. He had no idea that she has been bottling up so much of unsaid emotions within herself. He got really worried seeing her in this state. He couldn't see her like this, so vulnerable and broken. It hurt him a lot. Her pain felt like his pain.

The nurse came in with all the noises they made but went away quickly when Farhan signalled her to. He wanted to sort this out with her, once and for all.

"You know, it hurts so much... When I love someone with all my heart and that person remains so oblivious about it. It hurts so much. My heart cannot take it anymore, Farhan. Just let me go for good and marry that Alisha." pulling back from his hug, she muttered bitterly.

He was genuinely confused as to what she was blabbering. What the hell was wrong with her?

"I have always been a second choice for you. Isn't it? It was always Haya for you, and yet I was a fool hoping that you'd look at me anything other than as a friend. How stupid of me." Natasha laughed sarcastically leaving him numb.

Did she really say that? Farhan was shocked would be an understatement.

"Why did you never see that I've loved you, Farhan... I always have. Oh, wait, all you could see was that Haya. It was always her. Haya this or Haya that." she held his collars as her pretty green eyes stared at him accusingly whilst whisper yelling at him. He turned speechless with her every revelation. His eyes went wide, did she just say that? Did she love him? It felt so surreal and unbelievable.

It slowly started making sense to him.

"You made me so insecure of my own self, Farhan. I hate you so much, why do you keep hurting my heart?" she cried in both pain and anger.

What did she not have that Haya did? Why didn't he ever love her? Was she that bad? Natasha's self-doubts started a year ago. Which still haunts her.

"I loved you so much, Farhan." "I loved you so much, knowing very well of what it is going to lead me into but now, I'm done. I'm done getting heartbroken. Just divorce me already. I know you will divorce me soon for the sake of your mother, I cannot wait that far and hurt myself more. Just let me go! I can't take any more pain." she cried in frustration.

"You l-loved me?" It still felt so freaking unbelievable as he asked her that.

"So, I am your mystery lover?" Farhan asked dumbly, as he connected the dots. It made sense of why she never wanted to take his name. Damn! He has been jealous of his own self for almost three months.

"Of all the things I said, this is what you heard?"Natasha gave him a look of disbelief, "I said, divorce me. Let me go. I don't want to cause my heart any more pains. It already hurts too much." she snapped at him in anger, but gasped in shock when he pulled her waist and brought her closer to him.

"What the hell?" she opened her mouth to yell, but was cut off by him rudely, "just shut up. Shut up." and then he slammed his lips on hers.