Deeper

38 | Broken

When I step out of the club, I feel the cold wind blowing through my skin, but it's nothing compared to the coldness I feel inside my heart. It's frozen, and the pain is like being stabbed by a thousand needles.

Vaughn pushes through the door right after me, and I whirl around, shooting him a glare.

I'm so broken and mad to the point that I feel numb. I can't even cry. The tears are pooling in my eyes, but they just won't fall.

No, I won't shed any tear in front of him. Not a single one.

"What the hell was that?" I snap, my voice shaking.

Vaughn runs his fingers through his hair, the frustration on his face telling me that it's killing him too.

I scoff. "Well?"

He shoots me a piercing look, but it's wavering and weaker than the usual. "Well, did you see me kissing her? Did I kiss her, or did she kiss me?" he shouts, talking as if it was not entirely his fault, like he didn't mean to do it.

I'm amazed at how he just ignored the actual fact and that he still managed to speak really well despite how drunk he looks.

Staring at him in disbelief, I shake my head. "It doesn't even matter. You didn't even try to push her away."

Silence falls. I watch him, and he looks angry. Furious. At whom? I don't know. Maybe at his own fucking self?

The sound of the entrance door to the club being opened and frantic whispers echo around me. Without even sparing any glance, we know that there are people watching us, most probably his friends and other students from our university who have been hanging out in the club. We've definitely stolen their attention.

I can hear gasps and murmurs. Their words travel to my ear.

"It's Vaughn... With Jake's sister..."

We're caught. I don't even want to think about Jake, because there are already so many shits fucking with my head right now that revolve around one thing.

And that is Vaughn's betrayal.

"Look, it didn't mean anything," Vaughn says, looking into my eyes, and I almost break when I see that they are filled with the same sadness. "I didn't mean to do it."

"Really?" I ask sarcastically, the word laced with anger. "You didn't seem to have the same thought when you had her on your lap." I realize it now that my chest is heaving up and down as I'm finding it hard to breathe. All these emotions are eating me inside. "You didn't mean the words you said to me just now. How can I believe you, Vaughn? You're a liar. In your mind, there is no 'us'. We never even happened. You're just playing around."

Vaughn's jaw tightens, and he pulls me to him, making me gasp. He grabs my hand and puts it on his chest while looking into my eyes. "Liar?" he speaks through gritted teeth. "Then do you feel this?" he snaps, tightly holding my hand that was just placed right on his heart. "Tell me then, why the fuck does my heart beat so fast every time I look at you?"

I can feel his heart thumping hard against his ribs. It's racing. And I know how painful it is, because it's the same thing I feel every time I'm with him, every time he looks into my eyes like this, every time he speaks so close to me like what happens now.

He pulls me even closer to him that I jerk forward and my chest bumps with his. "Tell me!" he roars, his voice so loud, echoing in the air.

The gasps and murmur around us are getting louder as our audience are watching the unbelievable scene before their very eyes.

"Vaughn," I automatically warn him, reminding him that we have people's eyes on us.

But to my surprise, his gaze on me becomes even firmer as he whispers, "Fuck with that. I don't give a damn even if every single fucking person in this goddamn world knows about us."

And before I know it, he's captured my lips in a deep and hard kiss, shocking me and everyone here, as I hear them gasp even louder.

I'm reminded of how much I fucking miss his kisses now that his lips are on mine, claiming me once again after God knows how long. Days or a week without his touches feel like years to me. Now, I remember how his lips always feel so right against mine and that every time it happens, my legs start to give up on me, shaking under me.

I'm about to close my eyes when a voice inside me suddenly wakes me up. Abruptly, I push him away, not believing that I just let him do that to me. He couldn't just kiss a girl and then kissed me whenever he wanted to.

"Don't touch me," I say, my lips trembling as I try to hold myself from breaking.

He stiffens, hurt in his eyes. And I hate myself for still feeling guilty, knowing that I'm the one who caused that look on him, even after the terrible thing he's done to me.

I turn on my heels and stomp back toward my car, noticing that he follows me by the sound of his boots stepping on the ground as he walks with full strides. A tear finally escapes my eyes and falls on my cheek. I love him. I'm so very much in love with him.

After I reach my car, I get into the driver's seat and starts the engine. When I hear him open the door to the passenger seat beside me, I squeeze my eyes shut and throw my head back.

"What are you doing?" My voice is cold as I ask him without even looking at him.

He let out a deep sigh, his forehead leaning against the window as he buries his eyes in his hand. "Just drive," he rasps, his voice shaking.

I swallow the lump in my throat, inhaling a deep breath so that the tears in my eyes won't fall anymore. I can just kick him out of my car, but looking at the sight of how broken he is, I just can't bring myself to do so.

And so I press the gas and start driving, heading to our destination, the only thing that feels right at the moment.

Home.

***

AN:
Hi guys, I'm sorry if this chapter is not long enough. It just didn't go well if I cut it in the middle of the next scene. The upcoming chapter will be out within the next 24 hours.

Love,
Anya