Commitment

Part 48

 Regan realised she would have to concentrate as she surfaced from the fog in her head. Money, he was asking for money. Again. Did the man think that money grew on trees?

"Yes, cash." Like a hawk, he watched her reactions. "A small donation, say 100 dollars, that shouldn't break the bank. A good cause after all."

"A hundred?" She mumbled under her breath. She didn't have hundred dollars. That is why she was doing locums on top of her normal working hours. She was barely treading in the financial-quagmire.

He folded his arms. "Loose change for you." She blinked. He nodded at her feet, and he pointed out, "Your shoes probably cost more than that." He kept his eyes on her as he awaited her reaction.

Sam watched Regan's eyes. Something wasn't right. She was looking more and more uneasy. "Gray, she could just volunteer her time." Sam told Gray, seeing Regan's discomfort. Sam smiled gently at Regan, "You could help me on a stall."

"When is it?" Regan asked feeling wretched by the second. Coming home should mean heaven on earth: time to leave your troubles at the front door. But right at this moment, it was hell. Her troubles had escalated. She was too tired to bat away Gray's questions and statements. And her apprehension intensified. Sitting here, with four pairs of eyes focussed on her and her composure deteriorated.

"Next Saturday." Caro informed her. Something wasn't right. She watched Gray's eyes and she thought she saw his disappointment in Regan's responses. He'd expected better of Regan. Why? And why make her sandwiches? She saw him watching Regan, saw his eyes track over her face. Why?

"Oh." Regan squirmed, knowing she was about to make things worse as she said with some measure of trepidation, "er, I'm going to be working then." She worked most of the time. To generate that income that this man thought grew on trees. "Sorry. Unfortunately I am not available."

Gray was surprised by the disappointment he'd felt at her responses but he muttered dryly "Why doesn't that surprise me." She may not like Caro, but he'd assumed Regan would see beyond her immediate antipathy and help fund a good cause. He was wrong. He announced quietly. "I was expecting better from you."

"My rosters were set weeks ago." She replied flatly, as she reeled in her anxiety. She took another bite of her sandwich. She glanced at Loretta.

Loretta picked up the baton, "Yes, of course, Regan. We understand. It was just an idea." She smiled at Regan and was surprised to see Regan's visible relief. Unfortunately that relief was short.

Gray narrowed his eyes, "So, Regan, you can't contribute to this," He made and held eye contact, "in any way or form." He made sure she heard the accusation. Obviously she didn't want to contribute. Probably because Caro was arranging it.

Regan squirmed in her seat. That sandwich now tasted of sawdust. So she put her sandwich back down on the plate.

Sam warned quietly, "Gray."

"A simple question, Granddad." Gray shrugged. But his eyes remained trained on Regan, when he asked, " Will she contribute to this fundraiser, in any way?"

Regan rubbed her forehead as her headache moved to pounding. "I said I'd look through my wardrobe." Regan mumbled. What wardrobe? Her clothes were old. Not vintage as Loretta would say, more like antiquated shabby chic. She knew she was loosing the plot!

"And if that fails, you'll donate some food stuffs or cash?" Gray prodded without any hesitation.

"Yes, of course." She mumbled quietly. Her wardrobe was pared down, her good clothes had been sold. What she had was work wear and casual clothes, most of which were dated. Donating that, she knew would result in more hassle. Caro would not doubt tell him the clothes were old and he'd probably think Regan had deliberately given her junk. Food stuffs or cash at present were one and the same thing. She was just about keeping the pantry stocked. But perhaps she could see what was there. With any luck there might be something there that was not opened. Unlikely, her head warned her.

But still, she pushed her chair back and fought off the tiredness that swamped her. "I'll go see what we've got in the pantry." She reached for the plate and the sandwiches, her bag and said quietly, "That way, Caro can take it today."

"Good idea." Gray said with sarcasm. Sam frowned at him.

Ingrained manners, she said, "Thanks for making the sandwiches."

Gray acknowledged that with a nod. Sam got to his feet and he followed Regan to the kitchen. He thought she looked tense and worried. He'd been watching her just as closely as Gray, but had been drawing completely different conclusions.

"Regan, don't feel obliged." Sam's brows furrowed as he pushed the kitchen door open and gestured at Regan to precede him, "I'm not sure why Gray was pushing you like that, but really, we'll have collected heaps of stuff by next Saturday." Sam explained gently.

"It's ok," She muttered quietly, knowing it wasn't ok. Gray would think she was doing it deliberately. He'd been testing her, she knew that, and she knew she had failed his assessment of her character. "There might be stuff in the pantry that we can donate." She looked across at him, and shrugged apologetically, "Not sure how much!" She opened the pantry door.

Everything in the pantry was opened. Nothing apart from the tinned soups. But she doubted that if she walked back into the dining room with four tins of tinned soup, that she'd emerge unscathed from another Gray-target-practice-session.

She closed the pantry door. "I'll write a cheque." She told Sam and wondered whether it would bounce, Perhaps she could post date it.

"You don't have to." He frowned in concern, when he saw her shoulders slump. "Honestly, we can get stuff for the fundraiser. We were talking about it before your arrival. Came up with various strategies."

"And that included donations?" She headed for her bag, retrieved her cheque-book.

"Yes. But, Regan you don't have to. I am sure, we were thinking about it as something for corporations not individual people."

Regan shrugged and then began to fill out the cheque, "Do I make it out to Ms Hanley?" She asked Sam. He nodded. "Ten dollars, ok?" She looked up at him. Ten dollars was precious to her, but she was sure it would look paltry to Gray. But she couldn't afford to be bullied into giving away heaps of money, especially when she didn't have it to give. One hundred dollars meant being able to pay the bills or his salary. Giving that sum away would be recklessness. Sheer madness.

He tugged at his earlobe and replied gently, "Plenty."

"Here you go. Could you pass it on?" She tucked her cheque-book back in her bag and wondered if she would ever emerge from this sea of debt. She looked at Sam and smiled. "I'll head for bed. And please reiterate my thanks to Gray for the sandwich. He was right, I was hungry!"

"But you didn't finish your sandwiches." She barely ate one sandwich.

"I will take it to bed, in case I have munchies at midnight! She picked up the plate.

Sam frowned. "You're on early tomorrow?" He asked with even more concern. She looked exhausted. But there was something else, almost defeat, he thought as he watched her carefully.

She nodded and smiled wanly. "Yes, will need to be at the clinic by six."

Sam was not happy about that. "You need to ease up, you know. Have a holiday or something."

"Will keep that in my mind." She said with a wry grin.

He told her, his concern for her wellbeing showed in his eyes. "Who'll look after the Doc if the Doc gets ill?"

"A good night's sleep and I'll be raring to go." She smiled again, and it was the first genuine smile in the evening, "Thanks for caring." She put her pen back in her bag and then said, "Night Sam."

"Night Regan." He watched her departing back with growing concern. She really did look exhausted. But worse she'd looked plainly unhappy. That air of despondency that had cloaked her when she left was tangible and worrying. Something was wrong. Sam was even more convinced that not all was what it appeared to be on the surface here. But Regan rarely had a real conversation with them after that fiasco of that dinner with Caro as a guest. Or even after that night where Gray brought her back from her favourite place on the hill.