Commitment

Part 52

It was only when Jenny and Thomas re entered the sitting room, that Jenny realised their conversation would have been heard by both Lucy and Regan. Jenny could hear Neil's quiet snore on the monitor.

Jenny winced. "Sorry. I didn't mean for you to hear that." She sighed. "I've been such an interfering idiot, haven't I?"

Regan got to her feet and approached Jenny "No, that is not true. In any case, Jen, this, well, it isn't your fault." She gave Jenny a hug.

"Yes it is."

Regan shook her head. "No, Jen. And Thomas was right."

"How?" Jenny sighed andlooked over at her husband. He watched, knowing that the three, Jenny, Lucy andRegan would have to sort this. Of course he could offer money, but he waspretty sure that Regan would not take the money. The question is whether hiswife would accept that position. Sohe just smiled to show he was there to support her, regardless of her decisions,either to challenge Regan or accept Regan's view.

 Regan saw the message between wife and husband and she smiled and nodded,  when she interpret Thomas' message to Jenny. "Gray really sorted out my farm."Regan smiled softly at Jenny, "You remember what it was like before he arrived."

"Yes. I know. It was a bit.. er." she searched for a word which would not sound bad.

" Dilapidated?" Regan chuckled. "Decrepit. Rundown. Shabby Falling apart?" She said, "Chose anything from that list!"

"Kind of." Jenny conceded. "Anyway, that is why dad suggested it."

"And it was a good idea."

"Yes, but I sold the idea to you! Honestly, I thought it would help them, and you. Not leave you in the lurch. This is my fault."

Regan shook her head, "No, Jenny! That is not true. And you have not left me in the lurch. Gray did a good job. A really good job. And on a labourer's wage, actually, not even the local wages!"

"You gave him what you could afford." Jenny sighed.

"I know." She gave her friend another hug. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. You'll see. You know I planned on working the farm, once I'd learnt the ropes. I've had a good teacher. I can see what the place can be. I know it will be steep, but, come on, I've come through worse in the last couple of years."

"Yes, but I've landed you right in it again."

"No, you haven't. You've saved me heaps!"

"How do you make that out?" Jen asked her friend.

"I'd have had to have paid a real manager heaps to do what Gray did, but I got Gray for cheap!" She laughed at Jen's rueful grin. "So you see, you did me a favour."

"That is warped but I can't figure out why it is."

"He's going to show me stuff over the next three weeks, and who knows I may be able to take over earlier than I planned. You see, silver lining and all that." Regan kept her smile in place. If she allowed her inner thoughts to show up in her eyes, Jen would be really upset.

"You'd need to keep working to get some income."

"Probably not as much."

"Really?"

"Yes. First, the farm is supplying milk! Income! That is down to Mr Cardozo, the small milk herd are good producers. And second, there's only be me to feed and the farm costs will be down as I will be doing the work. I'll be fine."

Lucy looked over at her friend. She said quietly, "Regan, I can lend you some..."

"Don't even think it!" Regan folded her arms and looked militant. "Transferring one loan to another is not a good idea! No thanks!"

"We could invest." Jenny pointed to her husband, her eyes questioning even as she mooted the idea, "Thomas and I and..."

Regan shook her head, "No." She said firmly followed by a sigh. She said softly, "It isn't that I don't want you to be my partners, but if I can't make a go of this and need other people bail me out every time, then I might as well sell. Having shareholders or investors, would be the same as me selling the place. If I want my farm to work out, then I have to take it on and figure out how to manage it without Gray." She smiled and held a hand up to stop Jenny from arguing, "Just a rough patch at the moment. I will be ok."

"Regan..."

"I get it, you are worried about me, but don't worry about me. It will take time, but it will work out. A bit of a struggle initially, but it will work out. You'll see, I'm going to be ok. You'll see." She smiled at the other three. "Anyway, you should come and visit. See what Gray has done." She didn't realise she was giving away insights to her feelings. Her feelings for Gray. It was just the words, the fact she was praising him, it was her tone, when she said, "He has been great. What he has done with so little resources, used old equipment, reworked the materials, is astounding. You would not believe the transformation. That is down to him. " Jenny and Lucy shared a look. Regan continued, "I know he loves working. But his ethos, his philosophy, his code, the fact that he worked hard on my farm, with little help from me, well, to be honestly, he was right. I took advantage."

"That is not true." Jenny shook her head.

"It is true, Jen. I did not help him. I did not provide resources. And yet, my farm, now, is amazing because of him and Sam. I can understand why he has found a better job. A job with decent wages and he gets accommodation. He can live independently. We can't blame him for leaving. I paid a pittance and I got so much. I know, it will take time, but I think I can manage now. Scale it down a bit, but it will be a farm, a working farm."

"You could see my money as a loan." Lucy suggested. "Or I could offer to help, I would be more of an hindrance." Lucy mumbled. The thought ran through her mind, perhaps she could help Regan, the question when exactly. "I am away for a few weeks but I can help you when I return." But she knew she didn't have the skill. Perhaps they could hire someone to help Regan.

"Yes." Jenny agreed instantly, coming to stand in front of Regan. "We can help." She smiled gently at Regan. She could see in Regan's eyes, that things were not right. She could see a mixture of anxiety, bravado, sadness and fear in Regan's eyes. Things she was trying to cover.

"Lucy, thanks. Jenny, honestly, thank you. But I am not sure what exactly needs to be done!" She almost giggled with hysteria. That was the problem, she did not know. At all! If she could just learn a bit, she might ride the wave of misfortune and arrive in good nick in due course. She just needs to figure out how!

Lucy reached a decision, and she said firmly, "Take my money and you can hire a manager or labourers and pay me when the farm...."

"No." Regan shook her head. She was not willing to take money from her friends. It could kill her friendship if she could not settled the debt. She was not willing to risk her friendship with this family. In her heart they were her family, and she was not willing to ruin that.

"Think about it." Jenny said.

"No. Both of you! Stop." Regan shook her head. She smiled slowly and tried to sound confident as she said firmly, "I do not need your money. Just your friendship. That's worth more than cash to me! I will need hugs. Actually, I'll need lots of hugs. That is all I need. Remember when you found me, the first time, you didn't offer me anything material, apart from your milkshake, but you two took me to your mum, and she gave me a hug when I left. A proper hugs. You can buy that. I know it will be hard, get that. And I want my farm to work. But I am not going to hit my friends for money. Ok? Just hugs."

The two sisters looked at each other.

Jenny gave Regan a hug. Lucy gave Regan a hug.

"You really are stubborn!" Jenny smiled at Regan.

"I learnt it from you!" Regan smirked.