Nothing // l.h

Chapter 11

Michael's room was on the first floor so instead of facing his parents in a nervous state, I climbed in his window. "Ellie," He got up from his bed and helped me through the window, "what are you doing here, climbing in through a window? We have a front door."

"I kissed Luke." I blurted out. I didn't think I would be able to say it when I ran over here. Here I was, standing in front of Michael watching his face turn from confused to shocked. "I didn't mean to it just happened." I sat down on his bed, moving aside sheets and sheets of papers.

"What do you mean you kissed Luke?" I was astonished at how far behind he was already. Michael continued to stand.

"The worst part of it all is that I kissed Luke." I looked straight ahead, replaying the moment in my head. I was going over every little aspect of the kiss, before during and after.

"I understand that part, Ellie." Michael clarified, not understanding what I was saying.

"We were just sitting there, outside the bookstore. He showed me this little piece of paper he had a song written down on. We argued for a minuted and there was a pause. Next thing I knew was his lips on mine." Just telling the story made my heart pound in my chest.

"Oh I get it now," Michael said as he sat down next to me, "you kissed him back."

"I didn't know what to do! At first I just sat there and wondered what was happening and when it would be over." I sighed resting my elbows on my legs and putting my head in my hands. "Then he tugged on me, wanting me to do something other than look like a complete idiot."

"So you kissed him." I could hear the slight disappointment in Michael's voice. It was never supposed to be this way. I was never supposed to kiss Luke, not after what had happened.

"I'm so stupid." I got up, pacing back and forth on the carpeted floor. "I shouldn't have gone today." Luke's words echoed in my head. It's fine we were just kissing. A lot of people do it. What did that even mean?

"Ellie it's not your fault." Michael moved papers over, making more room for him to spread out on his bed. "It's not like you knew what was going to happen. Plus can you really blame him for wanting to kiss you." I stopped pacing and looked at my best friend in confusion. Michael ran his fingers through what was now his red hair. "I mean, you keep showing up when he asks you to, even though you hate him." What was he doing? Couldn't he see what I was going through?

"Michael." I said, my voice shaky. I played around with the hem on the bottom of my gray sweater. "He's a really good kisser." On the way over to Michael's I tried to convince myself that it was awful and I didn't like it. That wasn't true at all. "Say something." I didn't know what to do and right now he wasn't helping very much.

"What do you think you need to do? This is your situation not mine."

"That helps me none." I started pacing again. "I woulnd't come here in a panic if I knew what I was going to do, Michael. Can I stay here tonight? I don't feel like going back home and you're driving me to school anyways."

"Sure." He nodded. "I'll go tell my parents." He got up off the bed and walked out, leaving me alone in his small room.

**

Monday morning Michael drove me back to my house so I could change. It was around six thirty so I figured I could get in and get out without Luke seeing me. I flung open my bedroom door, eager to get dressed and leave. I made sure my blinds were shut before I got changed. I looked and saw they were open and there was another note on Luke's window.

Meet me in the cafeteria before homeroom.

I shook my head and shut the blinds. I threw on a pair of black skinny jeans that had a couple holes in them, a pink burnout shirt and a pair of black boots. I brushed my teeth while trying to cram books back in my bag. I threw the bag over my shoulder and ran downstairs.