Chapter 36

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James POV

I woke up with my head hammered, it feels so heavy and I instantly regret about my strong choice of drink last night, I felt the cold bedsheet with my hand and moved it further away to feel Rose, she is not here.

 I immediately got up and looked at the empty bed, "Rose" I called out and checked in the bathroom, I was drunk last night but I do remember asking her to marry me, I remembered our passionate love making and asking her to carry my child. Did I scare her? I checked my phone, 5:30 a.m. it showed, where could she go? "Rose" I called out for her name again and headed outside, with frustration and nervousness building up inside of me, I took each step hoping she haven't left me. I have lived many moments where I had nearly lost her or should I say she left me for good, during those time I struggled. I don't want to wake up with that empty feelings again, I don't want to live that moment again where I wasn't able to see or hold her. I checked her in the living room and made my way to the kitchen and she was nowhere to be found, "Rose" I called out again and went to the Veranda and there she was, sleeping in an uncomfortable cane chair, all curled up. I noticed the empty wine bottle on the table and wondered if she was stressed because of my question. I love her to death and if my question of marrying her is giving her this much of stress than I am never going to bring it up. I am happy as long as she stays with me, suddenly the memory of me finishing inside of her yesterday came in my mind. She will be all right to carry my child, right? She has done it before. Maybe because of the cold wind or because of my presence she stirred up in her sleep, rubbing her arms with her hand, trying to curl up more. "Baby" I whispered trying to wake her up and she slowly opened her eyes, "hey" she murmured with a weak smile, looking surprised. "Let's go to bed" I said as I carried her in my arms and she snuggled up in my chest, "I love you James" she mumbled sleepily and that was enough to reassure her love for me.

I watched her as she was deep in her sleep, the things I am willing to do for you Rose. The empty wine bottle was an enough sign for me to know how much stressed she is. Maybe it's better if I don't mention anything to her. We will just go on, pretending it never happened. I ran my finger on her eyebrow and moved it slowly to her nose, you don't know how grateful I am that you came into my life. I cannot imagine my life without you, and I want to spend rest of my life with you and our children, the symbol of our existing love. I don't know why you are stressed with that simple question but if that's not what you want than that's fine. I will try to understand.

Not wanting to wake her up and sensing how stressed she is I couldn't go back to sleep, maybe we should fly back home.....where she can see her friend, patch thing up with her sister. I remember last time when she left Sicily we left on bad terms, she felt like she was trapped in here........we will talk about it once she wakes up. I went to my home office and brought in all files and folders and decided to work in the bedroom, where I can watch her and be there when she wakes up.

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The sun was up again, filling the room with the brightest light. Rose loves it. I turned my head and watched her as she began to shuffle around in her sleep and slowly fluttered her eyes open, the first thing she did was to look at my side of bed and the visible disappointment seeing it empty made my day, "looking for me?" I asked being delighted with her reaction and she responded with a lazy smile. "come here" she ordered, lifting the blanket up, signalling me to get in and I couldn't resist. I grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to my chest. Watching her this close made me nervous what if she says no to my proposal, I questioned to myself. I ran my finger through her face and traced her frames, her perfect jawline and the sweet spot in her neck, one kiss in that spot and she goes weak. "I know what you are trying to do" she murmured with her eyes closed, "just enjoying the view" I replied which made her open her eyes, "the only good view is right in front of me, I don't know what you are talking about" she replied and kissed my chin.

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