Change My Mind ~ Criminal Minds (Aaron Hotchner x OC)

16.0: Profiling Profilers

"You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone."
― Roy T. Bennett

Crystal sat up a bit as she cleared her throat, "You wanna talk?" Hotch nodded as he put down his spoon, he sighed a bit before letting out a soft chuckle. "I'm not sure how to talk about it." Crystal looked at him for a bit, she cleared her throat again. "Okay then, I'll start." Hotch looked at her with a raised eyebrow, Crystal gave him a soft smile.

"I don't know if you've noticed this, but I don't really open up to people."

"I noticed." Crystal gave Hotch an amused look, "Oh? You did?"

"Whenever the team asked you about your personal life you answered about your family. You never answered directly about yourself and when you did it's vague, I don't really know anything about you personally."

Crystal looked at Hotch after he finished talking, they held eye contact for a bit before she shook her head while smiling. "Seems like I can't get anything past you."

"Seems you can't."

"I didn't know that you were profiling me, but I can't talk against that since I've been profiling you a bit as well." Crystal shrugged as Hotch gave her a smile, "You profiled me?"

"Sure did."

"Mind sharing?"

"You first."

"You talked to me very formally for the past 2 months because you're scared." Hotch stated and Crystal gave him a confused look, he continued to talk. 

"You called the other members of the team casually, you've become closer to them. I won't deny that you and I have become closer as well, yet you still talked to me very formal." Hotch paused for a bit, "Mostly formal." Crystal smiled at this and he returned it, he then turned a bit serious.

"I thought maybe it was because I'm your boss that you're more formal when you speak to me, but you aren't the type of person to worry about formalities when getting to know someone. You talk to me formally because you don't want to admit that maybe you're opening up to me a bit, it scares you because you've most likely been hurt before. I'm sure you used to be able to, but now you're more cautious." Hotch watched as Crystal reached and tightened her ponytail, she never realizes how she does it subconsciously which made him smile a bit before continuing. 

"You're scared how you and I have become close friends in a way, so you call me 'Agent Hotchner' to try and put some distance between us. You don't want to let someone in yet, so you call the others casually but you couldn't bring yourself to do that to me yet because you're afraid of me hurting you."

Once Hotch had stated this he held eye contact with Crystal's widen eyes, they didn't say anything for awhile before Crystal broke out into laughter. "I really can't get anything past you." Hotch softly chuckled, "Seems so, maybe we get along so well because we both have our walls up to protect ourselves."

Crystal tilted her head, "Okay Hotch, it seems like you really have been profiling me. I've been profiling you a bit as well, you're the type to take everything on himself. You stay professional and collected but in reality you're the person who takes cases to heart, you seem to be a very emotional person but this isn't seen by others due to the way you try and hide it."

Crystal held eye contact as she said this and Hotch made no effort to interrupt her, so she continued. "You act as this serious professional profiler, but we're all human. We feel emotion and some of these emotions are sadness and happiness, you hold everything inside without letting anyone else know and you rarely give yourself a break. You're a very caring person Hotch, you take on a lot of responsibility for the team and the Unit. You think that you need to go through everything that troubles you by yourself and that you shouldn't feel happy, but we're a team. Last time I checked a team works together, your problem is our problem which means that our happiness is your happiness."