Shattered Mind: Ahsoka Tano

Chapter 4

   " Ahsoka..." Anakin gasped in horror.

Ahsoka sat curled in the corner near the shower. 

Her face buried into her knees with her bruised arms acting as a shield from the humiliation she was feeling being seen this way in front of her Master.

" Master, please go away." she whispered.

Anakin stepped closer to her, making sure to be careful not to upset her further.

" Ahsoka?" he sat down next her and gently removed her arms away so he could see her face more clearly.

" Don't look at me." Ahsoka turned her head the opposite direction.

" Ahsoka...you need to tell me what happened." Anakin said softly.

She simply shook her head and refused to look at him.

Anakin sat completely at a loss, not knowing how to comfort his apprentice.

" Master?" Ahsoka asked finally looking up at him for the first time.

 " It hurts." she said almost breaking into a cry.

" I know Snips. I know." he brought his arm around her as if protecting her from anything else that could possibly harm his Padawan.

" We need to get you to the healers, okay?" Anakin could feel her breaths becoming quicker and quicker by the second.

" No, please not the healers." her voice quaked.

" Ahsoka you need to get medical attention." Anakin thought for a moment.

" Would you rather we went to Kix?" he suggested.

Ahsoka slowly nodded. Anakin helped her stand up, gingerly touching her cuts and bruises.

He felt horrible when she winced a little. He lead her out of their quarters.

They walked down the halls of the temple together. Ahsoka got a lot of stares as they passed others. Most looked at her with pity and sympathy.

I must look like the weakest Jedi to ever exist.

Her heart almost stopped when she saw Kandri and Tiion walking together in the halls. The two Padawans even had the nerve to come up to them, sending Ahsoka into a panic.

" Oh my force, Ahsoka what happened." Tiion said sweetly, acting like she cared.

Ahsoka didn't know what to say. She was trembling at the sight of them. Lucky Anakin wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone.

" Sorry, but we must be on our way." he brushed them off.

Ahsoka let out a sigh of relief as Anakin told them to go away.

" Friends of yours?" he asked.

" No." was all she said back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Time skip, they're now at the Clone barracks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" Alright Snips, we're here. I already contacted Kix and he should be waiting for you." Anakin told her.

When the entered the Clones immediately noticed them. They saluted and addressed them respectfully.  Ahsoka wished that she wasn't a commander for just a few minutes. 

When they reached the med bay, sure enough Kix was waiting for her.

" General, Commander." he nodded. 

" Hey Kix." Ahsoka said quietly.

" I'll be in the mess." Anakin left them alone, knowing Ahsoka probably didn't want him to be there.

" So Commander, care to tell me what happened. You haven't been on the field for a week."  Kix asked starting to stitch up some of her deeper cuts.

" Some of the other Padawans were picking on me." she said shamefully.

Kix stopped patching her wounds. He was shocked, but most of all outraged. Nobody hurts his commander.

" Why were they picking on you?" he tried to ask calmly.

Ahsoka looked at the ground.

" They just don't like me for some reason."

Kix continued his work. She had some pretty nasty cuts and bruises.

" Okay Commander, i'm gonna let you clean your lekku by yourself."  he handed her a wipe.

" Thanks." She started to clean the dried blood from around the large gash on the bottom of her lekku.

Once it was clean, Kix tenderly wrapped it with  medical tape.

" You should change that every night until its fully healed. That's all, you're free to go Commander." he patted her on the back.

Ahsoka gave him a smile. 

" Um Kix, I'd appreciate if you didn't tell Anakin about any of this."

" Commander, I don't think that's a good idea." he admitted.

" Please, I don't want him to know yet." Ahsoka begged him.

" Fine, I won't tell him, but you need to at some point. He is your Master and i'm sure hes worried sick about you."

Ahsoka knew he was right, but she didn't want to do it just yet.

" Thank you Kix." 

I need to be more strong. Why am I so weak. So worthless. 

Ahsoka thought on the way out.

Is it the way I look, or act? Why do they hate me? Anakin mustn't ever find out. He might send me back.

That was the one thing she feared most of all. 

Getting rejected.

 She was already left alone once in her life by the people whom she thought cared about her. Ahsoka couldn't bare the thought of Anakin possibly ditching her.

I need to be better. I'll start tomorrow. I'll train longer and harder everyday . I won't eat until I see the results i'm looking for. No one must know. Not Anakin. Not Master Plo. Not Obi Wan. Not  even Rex. 

She promised herself.

Anakin came out of the mess.

" I was just coming to get you Snips. Are you feeling better?" he asked his concern in his voice.

" I'm good Master." she gave him a fake smile.