Detrimental [H.S.]

𝟸𝟸 - ᴛɪʀᴇᴅ

I've been awake for hours now. It was 10 in the morning. My legs were crisscrossed as I let the thoughts intrude my brain one by one. The moment I had to get off from that couch, instant shame was felt spilling in. I didn't want to run. No, that would seem too little. I wanted to disappear. Just.. vanish. The whole way back, I could practically hear Harry's wide smirk while he drove.

I never said a word to him when I got back to the base. I didn't even waste time, scurrying inside and rushing to the bed, hoping Harry didn't join me.

So now I sat, fully awake and fully aware of my actions. My subconscious distracted me, invading with regrets.

I guess I got carried away last night. The moment I took a step into that party, I knew trouble was coming. I knew shit was going to go down, and as I said, I never had control of myself when it came to circumstances like yesterday. Not when there was everything happening around us.

The air in the room was suffocating, thinking about how it was going to be between me and Harry now. I just knew he wasn't going to let go of it and taunt me with it. I could see scenes in my head where he would use it against me.

I never even thought I would let myself go like that, but then again, we were talking about Harry. The man who could walk on a tightrope without fear. The man with the most beautiful eyes and sharp features. The man who could simply smirk and anyone would have their legs clenched and weak. The man who not only attracted women but attracted men.

Shit.

Louis.

Fuck, I promised him I wouldn't get sexually close with Harry. Not even the slightest but here I was, just a few hours ago grinding on Harry. Thinking about Louis just gave me mixed emotions. I felt sad that I betrayed him like that after he opened up to me, but I also felt terrified as I thought of ways he would react to the news.

I felt like shit. Like actual shit.

And what happened to Alex. Knowing her for several years, I knew she wasn't going to give up trying to find me, but so far, nothing has come up. Was she alright? For her sake, I was hoping Harry made up a smart excuse on why I was missing all of a sudden. I really didn't want her to get involved with this chaos. She was the only real best friend I had and I never would want to lose her.

I expanded my legs on the bed, bringing it to lay flat before I relaxed on it again, the morning light shining on me through the curtains. Maybe if I laid on this bed forever, all my problems could go away. I could play dead and hope Harry never bothers me again.

My eyelids covered my eyes, knowing damn well that Harry wasn't just going to leave me alone, and I pushed away my thoughts. Slowly, I could feel myself getting overtaken by my sleep and I was out of it just like that.

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My slow breathing was faintly heard as I was brought to my senses. I stretched my muscles, having that relief of being so stiff, but that relief soon went away when I opened my eyes to see I was still in Harry's room.