MISSED CALLS ➡︎ TEDDY LUPIN [2] ✓

xi. GROUPCHAT

HAPPY, HAPPY FAMILY

mum

avalon, what did you mean by "isabel's girlfriend"

isabel

AVALON DON'T SAY A WORD OR I'LL USE AN UNFORGIVABLE CURSE ON YOU

mum

isabel, only mummy is allowed to commit war crimes, alright?

avalon. please tell me

avalon

alright but isabel better stay away from me

it was mostly a joke, but i was talking about cordelia rosier

they're in LoVeEe

isabel

YOU'RE DEAD TO ME

arthur

finally, someone who shares the same feelings towards avalon

avalon

brb i'm googling how to emancipate yourself

mum

oh no

isabel minerva you are NOT allowed to date cordelia rosier

avalon

MUM don't be homophobic

isabel

GOOD THING WE AREN'T DATING

i hate her guts

avalon

then why do you look at her like she hung all the stars in the sky HMMM

mum

avalon i'm not being homophobic shut it

cordelia rosier is not the type of person i want my youngest child dating

she'd chew you up and spit you out

isabel

i'm hurt :(

you really don't think i can handle myself against cordelia freaking rosier?

mum

oh no darling you can definitely handle yourself

but when one of you breaks the other's heart, i don't want to hear from her father about how you make her life a living hell

isabel

mum i'm glad you think i would make her life a living hell

but i don't like cordelia, and i don't think i like girls

avalon

well one of us was bound to be a little gay

unfortunately, it's not me :(

bets are on arthur!

arthur

i wish mum swallowed you

avalon

SHE WOULD'VE SWALLOWED YOU TOO, IDIOT

WE'RE TWINS

mum arthur is coming up to me i'm scared

MUM

MUMMY

HE HEXED ME IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE GREAT HALL

dad

well, did you deserve it?

avalon

DAD

mum

freddie.

dad

sorry love

arthur don't hex your sister

arthur

sorry i suddenly forgot how to read

avalon

you guys are so mean to me

azkaban for the lot of you

mum

avalon that's not something to joke about

your nana was in azkaban while i was pregnant with oliver

avalon

OKAY AND?

SHE'S FINE

ARTHUR WOULD SURVIVE A SHORT LITTLE TRIP TO AZKABAN

isabel

no he wouldn't

he'd get eaten alive

avalon

even more reason to send him for a quick field trip

arthur

i hate this family

mum

i did not perform the killing curse on a death eater just for the wellbeing of this family for laughs.

next time you want to say you hate this family, fight in a war to save it first.

oliver

jeez mum take a joke

there's a lot to unpack here