MISSED CALLS ➡︎ TEDDY LUPIN [2] ✓

lvi. GROUPCHAT

HAPPY, HAPPY FAMILY

mum

don't forget, the anniversary party is tomorrow night

please let me know who you're all bringing

dad

i'm bringing my side chick

mum

i am going to divorce you one day

and i will use these texts as evidence

dad

love you!

mum

fan behavior, innit?

avalon

i'm bringing teddy

isabel

wow big shocker

i'm bringing cordelia

avalon

wOw BiG sHoCkEr

mum

DO I FINALLY GET TO MEET YOUR GIRLFRIEND???

isabel

yes, mum. don't make a big deal out of it

mum

does she like cookies? i'll make her cookies

arthur

i'm bringing beth

avalon

YOU DON'T GET TO CLAIM HER

SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND

SHE BECAME YOUR GIRLFRIEND TEN YEARS AFTER SHE BECAME MY BEST FRIEND

arthur

shut up ugly

dad

arthur narcissus. you can THINK your sister is ugly but you can't SAY it

avalon

DAD

arthur

sorry dad

oliver

is it alright if i bring someone?

avalon

ollie i'm already bringing teddy, you don't have to ask

oliver

no dumbass

i'm bringing a guy

avalon

OH MY GOD

DID YOU GET A BOYFRIEND

oliver

not a boyfriend, but he has potential

avalon

oh so he's one of your hoes

mum

avalon don't refer to your brother's potential love interests as hoes

we'll just call them spicy boyfriends

avalon

i hate it here

mum

oh, don't forget all the cousins are coming too

isabel, don't make fun of albus severus's name this time

i know it's so fucking stupid but uncle harry gets sensitive

avalon

at least we were all mostly named after living people

fuckin harry and his obsession with the dead

mum

language

avalon

YOU JUST SWORE???????????

isabel

is auntie narcissa going to be there?

dad

duh

avalon

thank GODRIC

i miss her

mum

don't let aunt bels know she's not your favorite

avalon

when aunt bellamy gets me vintage designer stuff for christmas and birthdays, she will be my favorite

isabel

YOU ONLY LIKE AUNTIE NARCISSA FOR HER MONEY

avalon

NO I DON'T

I LOVE HER BECAUSE SHE'S A BAD BITCH

and because i wouldn't have met teddy if it weren't for her

arthur

who else is coming

mum

all your aunts and uncles

except for uncle charlie

he got caught up in romania

isabel

how rude of him

mum

um let me think of who else is coming

your uncle oliver, aunt gabby, uncle dean, uncle neville, aunt luna, and a bunch more people from when your dad and i were at hogwarts

avalon

why do we call them aunts and uncles if we aren't actually related to them

mum

same reason why you call aunt narcissa aunt narcissa

because they're family

sexy bitches love the bishop-weasley family