Notes (Jenlisa)

Chapter 9

It's been about a week since Jennie, Rosé, Jisoo and I watched a movie at Jennie's house. We have seen each other everyday since then. A few times Jisoo and/or Rosé were there but some days, like today, it would just be me and Jennie. Since we were always at her house, I invited her over here. I didn't want her to think that she wasn't welcome in my house, because she was. But it's just my dad that was an obstacle...

Camila and I have become very good friends, but I haven't told her anything about my home situation. Every time she would ask about my parents or my siblings I would try to brush it off subtly or change the subject completely. I was starting to regret even telling her that I had siblings, because I know that she would ask me about it today when she would notice that they are not here. But I was going take the risk anyway. I wanted her to come over here, and I was taking the chance because I really, really liked Jennie and I could see this (whatever this is) going somewhere. Plus, my dad had been MIA for 2 days, so I hoped that he wouldn't show today either, so I could have the house to myself.

I had about 45 minutes before Jennie arrived and I had to still take care of some things like cleaning my room, because it was a fucking mess. You can't blame me though, because nobody ever comes over. Except for Jisoo, but when she's here we are mostly downstairs and even if she saw my room, it was just Jisoo. But this is not just Jennie... She was special to me. I couldn't actually believe how special this girl had become for me in such a short amount of time. I actually know a lot about Jennie and I feel like I connect with her on such an intellectual level too, so the amount time I knew her didn't mean anything. Also, I have been stalking her Tumblr daily. A part of me still finds it unusual how she broke my promise to myself of not feeling anything for anyone, but the larger part of me understood. I mean, how could you not get hypnotised by her stare? How could you not wonder what her lips would taste like when she talks? How could you not wonder what is going on in her wonderful mind? I knew that it was not infatuation anymore. It also wasn't a crush anymore. It was so much more than that... And I'm okay with that. Because I know that if, somewhere in the future, I give Jennie my heart, she won't break it. I trust her. I hope I am not speaking too soon, but I trust her.

A frown took over my facial expression at the idea of 'trust'. It's a strange construct, right? It's like giving someone a tray with glass cups on it, to hold. You give it to them, because they look like they won't drop it. Although something in you knows that they can't hold it forever, you still give it to them. At one point, they will mistakenly drop it and break everything, or they will just get tired of holding your responsibility and problems and they will throw it away and walk away. It is a strange idea, indeed. Strange that trust is bound to be broken. I've learned that the hard way. That was why I build this wall around me. Though, just hearing Jisoo talk it disappeared. I was scared, felt exposed too. As long as I have Jennie though, I would manage. She would help me.

The sound of the doorbell brutally brought me out of my deep thoughts. "Fuck." I exclaimed as I noticed I didn't do shit to may too, yet. I shoved all my excess clothes and other things under my bed and hurried downstairs. I straightened my flannel and took a deep breath as I opened the door. Jennje was waving someone goodbye so her back was turned to me and I remembered that her mother dropped her off since she had to drive past my house anyway. I took the little time I had to admire Jennie's blessed backside. She was perfect in so many ways, she was an absolute beauty. But, like I might have said before, she was hot as fuck. Sexual thoughts about Jennie weren't my primary thoughts about her, but believe me when I see that they were there. Camila had turned around by now and she totally saw me checking her out. My cheeks went red and she surprisingly smirked.

"Like what you see, Manoban?" She asked, making my cheeks turn into an even deeper shade of red. I was frozen for a second, wondering if she really wanted me to answer that. I took her staying silent as an answer though, and slowly nodded. Her smirk grew and she just walked in, I think she figured that I was going to be frozen for a while. I still stood by the door before I shook my head and came back into the real world. Jennie was looking around my house, she seemed kind of astonished by it, although I wonder why. Her house was twice the size of mine, if not more.