Notes (Jenlisa)

Chapter 12

I was scrolling through Tumblr, mindlessly reblogging posts when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and instantly rolled my eyes. I couldn't handle this right now.

"What do you want Taehyung?" I spat. I've told him multiple times before that I wouldn't be hanging out with him and his dummies anymore. For multiple reasons, but the most important one was Jennie. I didn't want her to get in touch with any of them, they were a bad influence and I know that that might sound very hypocritical coming from me since I was basically one of them. I wasn't anymore though. The day I saw Nikki at Johnny's, which was about a week ago, I called Taehyung. I didn't like the way she was around me that day and I fucking hated the fact that she was even in the same room as Jennie.

"Chill out, Manoban." He said. "What the fuck has been wrong with you lately?" He asked. Before I could speak he spoke up again.

"Is it that girl Nikki saw you with? Is that it, you're whipped?" He laughed mischievously. "Nikki said that she was pretty fucking hot, so I would understand that you'd like to tap that."

"Fuck you. Don't fucking talk about her like that, you-" I was cut off.

"Oh shit. You like her don't you?" Taehyung asked and then laughed obnoxiously loud. I didn't respond for a while, trying to keep my anger within reason. "Damn, Lisa. I didn't even know you also flowed that way. She must be really hot or not?"

"Taehyung, I am going to warn you one more fucking time." I warned. "Alright, alright. I'm sorry. So how is she like then?" He asked. There was a hint of seriousness in his voice, but the safest choice was for me not to trust him.

"I'm not going to talk about that with you." I said, I was calmer than a few moments ago, but I couldn't wait to end the conversation.

"Alright then. So much for a good convo than, ain't it?" He asked rhetorically. I sighed in annoyance.

"Taehyung, what do you want?" I asked.

"I was just inviting you to hang with us soon. I hate to admit it, but we miss you, you fucker." He said.

"I don't know how to put this, but no."

"Don't be such an ass. I know what you're doing. You don't want your little girlfriend to see the fucked up people you hang around with. Trying to be a 'good person' and shit. But Lisa, shall I tell you the ugly truth? You're just as fucked up as we are if not more." He said. His voice wasn't insulting, or mocking but honest. All the idiotic traces of his dumb character seemed to disappear in that moment of truth. "Not smoking and drinking and shit like that, is not going to make you any more or less of a messed up person as me, Lisa. You know this, so do I."

The truth in his words dawned on me. I was really fucked up. There was things that happened to me in the past that had made me who I was, there wasn't anything I could do about that. Whenever I was with Jennie, my feelings of sadness, disappointment and the feeling of being rejected disappeared for a while. Looking into her eyes would make them all just dissolve, but whenever I wasn't with her, they would come back again. They felt stronger everything they came back, as well. There were times I thought of just telling Jennie everything, but then I would think it was way too soon. We have been dating for a few weeks and we know each other for just over a month.

"I....I don't.." I started.

"Manoban, you know I'm right. Instead of running from us, maybe you should fix yourself." He stated. "Anywaaay" He started when I stayed silent. "I know you're answer is probably going to be no for now, but think about it. We, or at least I miss you. I know we're not like friends or anything, but I've known you for the majority of my life so yeah I wouldn't want you to die or anything." He said awkwardly.