"What do you mean they lost both their kids?" I ask puzzled
"When mom got pregnant we moved here to spend quality time together and it was the best think that happened to all of us, but when she started getting sick all the time we knew it wasn't going to turn out okay. Mom and dad were hopefully but somehow I knew it wasn't going as planned.
They were so focused with the baby they were about to have that they forgot about the child they were raising. When she had her surgery and that went sour they both forgot about me. They behaved as if they were the only ones that lost someone when I did too.
Dad became a workaholic and soon after recovering for the surgery mom joined the squad. They had business trips every week and they were so out of touch I thought they would get divorced.
I was raised by Grace. She tried to feel the void that I was developing but she couldn't. Hoping to get one of them to look at me I started acting out.
I started with detention, in school suspension, actual suspension, and I finally got expelled. They still didn't notice me. The more trouble I got into the less they cared. After I was expelled they sent me to a boarding school in Montana. I was there from age 12 till 14."
He paused. I couldn't say a thing because I was afraid he would shy away and I wouldn't get to know him deeper.
"While I was away they stitched up their wounds. They were fine. You know who wasn't okay?
Me.
They healed themselves with one another and I had no one. Somehow they expected me to fix myself while they fixed each other. That broke my heart.
I became so angry. It tore me to shreds that once they were whole they forgot about me again. What shattered me even more was they starting "caring" when they clearly didn't.
Why pretend?
I lost all hope in humanity and I stopped caring for anyone who wasn't me" he concluded
To be honest I was bewildered. How could the the two people I've leant to love and adore even do that? It was unbelievable but we have hidden scares. No one is perfect and something like losing a child isn't gotten over so easily. You can never heal from that, you can't recover either but you can learn to live with it.
"How did you start going to school here then?" I ask
"Dad grounded mom for a year because she was getting sick a lot and mom wanted someone with her when dad couldn't be. Mom enrolled me into Winter high and here we are." He explains
"I guess now you understand why I was such a dick when you came into our life. I thought they were replacing me again. But slowly I started to care for you and that was damaging. No one has ever truly showed me they cared so I just block everyone out." He concludes
"Erin I'm so sorry. I should have gave you a chance before ruling you out. I regret all the time I wasted fucking up when it came to you." He apologises looking away ashamed. I could see the pain in his eyes and it was breaking me.
"James...I understand. I cant imagine what you went through growing up. I wouldn't understand even if I tried and for that I'm sorry. You should know that both mom and dad might have done you wrong in the past but you have to learn to forgive them. I know them not apologising for it makes it harder but be the mature one and heal. I will help you. I don't know how buy I can assure you I will be here when you need me. I care about you James." I advice him
He nodes his head and I move closer to him and hug him. He holds me so firmly and I hold him as if my life depended on it, because in some weird undefined way it did. I let ho slowly and trying to lighten the mood he says
"Come on let me show you the rest of this place"
This place is so beautiful. The house had beautiful paintings and exotic floor. This place has a rose garden that about to bloom I can imagine the scent when all the different scents spray and scenery when colours are at their peak.
"James I've been meaning to ask, do you paint?"
"I used to" he replies
"Why did you stop?" I inquire
"I guess I didn't have the drive to continue" he states
"That's sad you were so go at it" I say admiring the painting on the wall.
"What does JMH mean?" I ask starring at the abbreviation
"James Micah Hallow" he says
"You middle name is Micah?" I am surprised
"Yeah"
"What does it mean?"
"Who is like God?" He says
"What?" I ask confused
"That's what Micah means. Who is like God" he says
Would have never guessed that his middle name is Micah. I literally would have guessed Michael. We spend the rest of the day chilling and talking. I had a lot I didn't know about James for example he plays guitar, paints, loves romance moves and he's favourite colour is green.
We reminisced on his childhood and shares multiple laughs. Overall it was a good day.
************************************
Hey guys tell me what you think.
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Love, Olly
Btw's I really like the song check out more of Tate's songs, also I'm sorry for the shirt chapter I got hit with some fucking writer's block so I didn't know how I was going to end the chapter. I usually have the full vision of how the chapter is supposed to go but this time around I had half an idea and that shit fucked me over
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I will always love you
Romance'Who do you belong to?' he asked as he breathed down on my neck. He had me pinned to the wall. I watched him as his hand slowly moved from above me to place it on my neck. My breathing hitched, I had never had someone turn me on this quick. As his h...
