Amidst Uncertainties

Chapter 11

Understand

"We've been together our whole lives, Ace. And I witnessed how determined you are sa kagustuhan mong maging doctor. For some reason, I also wanted to feel something like that. And akala ko noon, na nagmomodelo na ako ay mararamdaman ko rin 'yong katulad ng sa 'yo. But I still couldn't feel that same determination that you feel toward medicine." He was smiling bitterly when he explained that.

Nasa living area na kami ngayon at kumakain ng pizza na in-order niya kanina. Kadadating lang nito pero agad naming nilantakan dahil parehas kaming gutom na gutom na.

I was still not sure kung talaga nga bang tama ang desisyon nitong si Travis sa pag-pursue ng med in the near future. Dahil according to him, he wanted to feel that same determination I have for medicine. Pero sa tingin ko kasi, kung gusto niyang maramdaman 'yong ganoong klase ng determinasyon, hindi solution ang paggaya sa kurso at sa pangarap ko mismo.

"Are you really sure that you want to pursue med sa future after mong gumraduate ng college? I mean, isn't your reason a bit off? Na kaya ka lang magme-med ay dahil gusto mong maranasan 'yong katulad ng determination na mayroon ako. Ibig sabihin, nakabase sa akin ang naging desisyon mo."

I hope that I was able to explain my point to him. Kahit gustuhin ko ring makasama siya sa pag-pursue ng medicine, ayoko naman na ang dahilan niya ay nakabase lang sa akin. I want him to decide for himself, without considering the dream of other people. Because after all, kaniya at kaniyang pangarap 'yon.

"You have been living independently since then, Trav. At maswerte ka dahil kahit anong gustuhin mo ay suportado ang pamilya mo sa 'yo. Even now that you suddenly changed your mind at gusto nang i-pursue ang med. Pero sigurado ka ba talaga sa desisyon mong 'yan? I mean, as much as I want you to also pursue that dream with me, ayoko na ganoon lang reason mo." I sighed before continuing. "I want you to decide something that you really want for yourself. Iyong hindi nakabase sa ibang tao. Iyong hindi kasama ang ibang tao. Dahil ikaw 'yan, e."

"I know what you are trying to say, Acely. I really do. Pero, I want you to know that I am actually liking this course. I have already been studying this for 2 years now. I already got a hold of this course. Trust me." He smiled at me to assure me. Ngumiti ako sa kaniya bilang pagsuko.

"Fine, then. Kung talagang gusto mo na 'yang course na 'yan, hahayaan na kita. At least, may study buddy na ako. May kasama na akong magrereklamo sa human anatomy!" I said and laughed while hitting him with the throw pillow.

"You actually don't have to hit me so much, though." He teased me and I just glared at him.

We just talked the whole night. Umuwi siya nang mag-alas onse na. I went to my bathroom and brushed my teeth. After that, humiga na ako sa kama ko. I checked my phone and went to instagram again. I posted an IG story a while ago. It was a photo of me and Travis while eating pizza. A lot of people have viewed them already. Tinay, Lei, and Tonia even replied to it.

Napairap ako nang unang mabasa iyong kay Antonia Sophia.

Antonia Sophia Marquez replied to your story:

Ang hawt na fafa naman n'yan. Sarap kainin.. este ang sarap ng kain!

To Antonia Sophia Marquez:

Tawagan ko nga si Caleb, sumbong kita. :P

From Antonia Sophia Marquez:

Fuck you, bitch!

Tumawa ako at sunod na binasa iyong kay Tinay.