Amidst Uncertainties

Chapter 14

Challenged

I closed my eyes firmly and tears started running down my face again. I keep on rereading the message Travis sent to me while driving to his location. I was tracking his phone number, so regardless of him not telling me where he is right now, I still found a way to go there.

I'm currently experiencing a lot. Tita Cecile got into an accident which shocked all of us and broke our hearts into pieces. I couldn't do anything to help Tinay and his father. It's hard to see them struggling over something and despite having the capability to do something.. you still couldn't do anything.

Pagod na pagod na ako, pero alam kong mas pagod sila. Kaya naman wala akong karapatan magreklamo dahil sa lagay ko ngayon, maswerte pa ko.

And now... I know for sure that my heart is going to break into millions of pieces again, but I still decided to take the risk and go see him.

I am probably thinking that the pain I'm feeling right now would ease up if I see him, knowing that the opposite of it is more likely to happen.

The moment I arrived at the place, I quickly went out of my car and locked it. Pumasok ako sa loob ng club at bumalot sa akin 'yong malakas na tugtog at amoy ng pinaghalo-halong alak. I took a deep sigh to calm myself.

Hindi ko pa man siya nakikita ay nagsisimula na namang magwala ang puso ko. Fuck his fucking effect on me. Nakakatanga. At nakakatawa dahil talagang nagpapakatanga ako.

"Acely!" I heard Travis shouted my name. Kahit sa ingay ng music ay narinig ko pa rin 'yon. Maybe because I was too aware of the real reason why I came here in the first place.

Hinahanap ng mata ko si Travis at nakita ko agad siyang nakaupo sa couch malapit sa counter ng bar. Pumunta ako roon at nadatnan ko siyang nagdudugo ang labi. May first aid kit sa table sa harap nila pero hindi nakabukas.

Bumuntong hininga akong muli at umupo sa tabi niya. I opened the first aid kit and started treating his wound.

"Ouch!" Daing niya. "Pati rin ba ikaw galit sa akin? Masakit, ha!" Reklamo niya. Hilaw akong ngumiti at umiling habang ipinapagpatuloy ang paggamot sa sugat niya.

Nang matapos kong gamutin ang sugat niya ay tumayo na ako. "Where the hell is he?" I asked Travis.

Ang mga kasama niya ay nanatiling nakatingin sa akin. Nandoon din si Troy pero nagtanguan lang kami. He probably knew what happened because he's with his brother, right? Kaya siguro hindi na siya nagtatanong pa.

"I think he went to the smoking area outside," it was Troy who answered.

I was about to walk away from them, but I heard Travis spoke. "He's not worth it, Acely. A guy like that... is worth nothing but pain and misery," he said meaningfully as if he knew exactly who Sync is. "You'll only get hurt, Ace."

Humarap ako muli sa kaniya. I smiled and shook my head as an answer. "I have already been living amidst pain and misery, Travis. Wala nang kaso 'to sa akin. Handa akong tanggapin lahat ng sakit, basta siya ang kapalit." I said before completely leaving them.

I told him that, yes, but I still couldn't help but wonder... what if I didn't meet Sync? Paano kung hindi ko siya nakabangga at nakilala? Mas magiging masaya kaya ako? Probably not. Because when I met him, something dead inside was brought to life. Every time I'm with him, kahit nakakagago at nakakainis, nahulog pa rin ako.

And if someone would ask me right now whether I would regret meeting him or not, I'd surely answer no. Dahil hindi naman talaga ako nagsisisi na nakilala ko siya at nakasama sa nagdaang mga buwan or taon. Kahit paulit ulit na away tuwing nagkikita kami, doon ako mas nahuhulog. At willing akong mas mahulog pa kahit hindi ako sigurado kung sasaluhin ako.