Cigar Series I: Cigarettes & Wines

Chapter 5

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We stayed there until dawn. Nakatulog na nga ako sa passenger seat habang naka kumot sa'kin ang jacket niya. Nagising na ko nang pasikat na din ang araw at tulog na din si Luke sa drivers seat.

Napa ngiti ako. I'd do everything just to wake up with Luke beside me. Mabilis kong kinuha ang cellphone ko. It was flooded by miscalls and text messages. Hinayaan ko iyon at dumiretso sa camera.

Bahagya akong lumapit kay Luke at nag picture. Madilim dilim pa pero ayoko naman mag bukas ng flash kasi baka magising din ang isang 'to.

I took a few shots of us together hanggang siya na lang mag isa. Mas nag eenjoy pa ako na kuhanan siya nang litrato kaysa ang kaming dalawa. Nagsasawa na din ako sa mukha ko.

May isang album na nga siya sa cellphone ko. Wallpaper na din siya ng cellphone at laptop ko. Screensaver pa nga. Sobrang loyal ko na masyado sa kanya, hindi naman kami.

We just talk the whole night. Kumakain at umiinom. Chill lang kaming dalawa. Halos ako lang naman talaga ang sasalita at puro tawa na lang ang ambag niya. May oras din na aasarin niya ako. He calls me bata dahil mukha daw akong bata talaga.

"Why do you like me?" He asks

Nilagok ko ang liquor na nasa can bago siya sinagot, "What's there not to like?"

He laughs, "A lot."

Umiling ako, "If you're asking about your physical figure, well, I like your eyes and their color, your nose, and your lips."

"A lot of girls like the same. What makes you different?"

"What makes me different is I still like you even though you don't like me," I answered honestly.

Sa totoo lang, ilang beses na din akong tinanong ni Aira kung bakit ko gusto si Luke. I always answered her the same. Alam ko din naman na madaming bagay ang hindi dapat gustuhin kay Luke.

Kaso, ewan ko ba. Gusto ko pa rin siya. Kahit babaero siya. Kahit basag ulo. Kahit antipatiko. Kahit masungit at mukhang pinag lihi sa sama nang loob.

Those qualities are why I don't fall easily, but I think something happened to me to the point of accepting the rates I hate when it comes to Luke.

Gusto ko pa rin siya kahit malabong gustuhin niya ako. At least ngayon, he's acknowledging it. I'm no longer voiceless. Alam na niya. Sapat na sa'kin 'yon.

"Your eyes are colored green?"

"Turquoise green." I corrected.

He nodded and stared at me. I smiled awkwardly—my cheeks heated. Hindi talaga ako sanay nang tinititigan ako lalo na kung si Luke pa!

"Half Filipino and what blood?" I asked

"My mother is a Filipina while my Father is a Spanish-Italian."

I nodded, "Ang lakas ng dugo ng Daddy mo sayo."

"I don't think so. If you can see my siblings, you'll say I'm different."

"Well, being different is beautiful. Look at me; my siblings and parents are all blue-eyed while I have green."

"I know I'm handsome; I'm just saying that I'm different. I'm more Spanish-like, unlike my siblings who look Filipino or Italian."

"Don't you like having Spanish blood?"

"I do love my Spanish blood. I'm just saying," He shrugs

"I like you more than your blood."