cause you were all yellow | a.i.

twenty nine.

when you love someone james tw
"youll understand when you love someone."

i held clairo tight as i listen to her breathing begin to even out.

she was falling asleep and i could tell. if you were around her enough, you could tell when she was falling asleep purely based off her breathing rates.

her breathing was slowing down.

she was falling asleep in my arms.

i think the rest of the boys realized too as their conversation grew quieter.

"is she asleep?" calum whispered across the room to me.

i nodded my head, careful not to wake her.

"so can we talk about practice now?" luke whisper-screamed.

i knew what he was talking about but i wasnt sure if clairo was actually asleep or not that we could.

i looked down at her face, watching her eyelids flutter slightly as she fell deeper into sleep.

"hes off the team, and hes probably gonna lose all of his scholarships now that he cant play," i explained quietly, trying not to wake her.

"so murphys gone? no more shit talk at practice or anything?" mikey asked, almost excited.

"i mean, yeah, hes off the team so no more practice shit," i replied kind of excited, but i soon remembered. "but hes still going to be in school and i dont have anyway to keep him away from her since i dont want to push her to file anything especially after i told her about the last girl when she did."

"yeah, but we got her too ash," calum reassured me, the other two nodding too.

"yeah, i just hope one of us is near her at all times," i thought out loud.

"you really love her, dont you?" calum asked.

"umm," it caught me off guard. id only ever truly told  mikey how i felt, and never with her anywhere near. "she doesnt know that yet."

"youve never told her?" luke asked astounded.

i began to try to explain myself when mikey cut me off.

"they sung literally i love you to each other in a song and he still doesnt believe she actually loves him," mikey told the other two.

"wait what song?" calum joined in, all three of them acting like school girls talking about boys.

"take a guess, it will all make sense once you hear it," mikey extended his little game.

"what song says i love you in it?" luke said under his breath as he thought.

"ill give you a hint," mikey began helping. "you know i love you so."

"wait, thats why he calls her yellow?" calum said raising his voice.

i shushed him as she shifted in my arms. i shook my head at them.

"wait thats actually really cute, no way you came up with that," luke said surprised.

"i came up with it all myself," i told them proudly.

"wait," mikey said cutting off all their excitement. "youve called her that since we met her though. how did that song come up before we even met her?"

"you didnt actually meet her at the supermarket, did you?" luke asked.

"no, i did not," i told them quietly, hoping they would lower their voices too as they got more interested.

"then how did you meet some random american girl in the middle of aussie?" mikey asked confused, but quieter than he was speaking before.

"you guys just cant laugh if anything i say sounds stupid, okay? cause its all true," i said looking at them. "okay?"

all three of them nodded their heads, scooting closer to the edge of the bed to listen.

"i went to watch the stars and ended up on top of the parking garage down-" i started explaining.

"wait ash," mikey cut me off.

"were you actually going there to watch the stars?" calum asked genuinely concerned.

"its beside the point," i quickly answered. "clairo showed up to watch the stars too somehow on the top of the same garage i was on. and she just sat down on the same wall i was on and she just didnt say anything to me until she started talking about the stars. she asked if i knew that all the other stars were actually bigger than the sun. and i told her yeah, the sun just drowns them all out."

i caught myself smiling as i was reminiscing on how polaris brought us together. i carefully pushed a strand of her hair out of her face as i continued.

"she agreed with me and then i told her coldplay was wrong, that the stars werent actually yellow and she told me 'and they sure as hell dont shine for me'," i looked back up to the boys, who were all genuinely listening and interested.

"and you just started hanging out after that?" luke asked confused.

"actually, we only started hanging out off a pact. she told me shed never lived before, so i told her i would teach her to. i dont know why i told her i would. something about her just intrigued me. but we just kept hanging out to like show her how to live and then we were just inseparable," i told them honestly.

"so thats why you brought her to that first party?" calum asked. "and thats why you were so protective of her?"

"yeah, shed never been to a highschool party and i had a wierd instinct to protect her the whole time. looking back i know it was because murphy was there but i just didnt want anyone near her," i continued to tell them.

"so her nicknames yellow off that song?" luke asked.

i nodded to him.

"and yellows like their reason to keep going?" mikey said trying to piece it together.

"so like shes your yellow?" calum asked pointing towards her.

i looked down to her. her eyes were still closed as she slept in my arms. her freckles danced across her perfect nose like they did the first night we first met.

"yeah," i whispered. "she is."