China Doll

Part 50

Astoria's POV:
It had surprised me when Draco had stood up to Father for me. Wait no. It was the Slytherin Prince who had. Only he could be so foolhardy. I think. For some reason the idea that the Slytherin Prince had done it for the sake of trouble, instead of Draco doing it for me, bugged me. Which was completely ridiculous.

I had been even more surprised when he hugged me. The embrace made me feel safe. I pulled away first. Reluctantly, I'll admit. I raised an eyebrow at him and tried to deflect the conversation from me, back to him. "So? What's the deal with your alter ego? I get you would have one, but aren't they supposed to protect you? It's like yours wants to get hit." He took a step back and went stone cold. This wasn't Draco. This wasn't the Slytherin Prince. This almost seemed like... father. I shook a bit, but I fisted my hands and held my ground.

It's good to respect someone's boundaries. But I wasn't going to tiptoe around this darned prince if I had to save his neck all the time.

"I don't see how that's your business." Although I knew it wasn't true, the words still stung a bit. To know that I'd cried and laughed with this boy. Heck, seconds ago we were hugging, but that he didn't trust me, hurt.

"Then you're either blind or an idiot. Things you have proven to be untrue. I answered your questions, now you answer mine." As soon as I said it, I knew it was a mistake.

"You have to answer all my questions, remember? Dear old Daddy told you to." I flinched visibly. I hated being so expressive. But it wouldn't be fair to ask him to take off his disguise while I was still wearing mine.

"That's not why I answered the questions, and you know it." He tilted his head cockily.

"Do I?" I huffed in frustration.

"I think you are the most frustrating person I have ever met."

"But darling, that's all part of the charm." I wanted to reach out and shake him by that stupidly immaculate vest of his.

"You said we'd be honest with each other."

"I did. Too bad I'm a proven liar."

"Why do you do this? Why are you running away?" Then it hit me. Oh. I looked at him closer, trying to pick out any tense spots. His jaw looked clenched, and despite the stubbornness to his stance, he was a little tight in the shoulders. "Oh." was all I could whisper.

"Oh?" He practically sneered at me. "That's all you have to say now?" He took a threatening step forward, but I was held in place. "I don't run away."

I shook my head. "No. But you are afraid."

"I'm not afraid of anything!"

"Everyone's afraid of something, Draco. It's not something to be ashamed of."

"You don't know anything about me."

It was my turn to cock my head. "Oh? You can't scare me off Draco. I am staying, and you are stuck with me. You might as well be honest at this point. You're afraid of being a disappointment. Of failing. And that's why you no longer bother to try. It hurts less when you expected failure, when you didn't really fail. But it still hurts to be looked down on and rejected by your parents. You fear what all people fear. You fear being seen for who you are, and you fear never being seen." He wasn't yelling anymore. Instead of looking mad, he looked fragile. My lips quirked up slightly. "In the words of the wise Draco Malfoy, "Let go. There's only one person's happiness you should worry about. Live for yourself."" If this didn't work I don't know what will. Hesitantly, I reached out to place a hand over his heart. I stared at my hand, knowing I would lose my nerve if I looked up. "Try Draco. It might give them standards or whatever. But they should be proud knowing that you're trying. And if they aren't, that's their bad. Try for the top spot in the class. Try for the Quidditch Cup. And even if your parents aren't proud of your efforts.. I will be."

I couldn't help but glance up at him. The facade was more or less gone. And I knew that even if it came back I'd be able to see through it. I understood him, whether or not he wanted me to. I wasn't going to let him shut me out again.

I'm not sure exactly how to describe the look he was giving me. I think the closest thing was awe. Which frankly, made me uncomfortable. I didn't really do anything to deserve that look. I had said what I meant. Anyone could have said those words.

Slowly, as though afraid I would back away, he reached out and cupped my cheek with his hand. I stood stock still as he came even closer, to the point where our shoes were practically touching. I eyed him warily. Unsure of what was going on.

"Your parents don't know what they've lost." He whispered. It almost made me shiver. What in the name of Merlin was that? My mouth went dry.

Draco wasn't looking me in the eye anymore. But he was still looking at me. I swallowed, trying to dredge up some moisture to ask him what the heck was going on. "Wha-" I didn't even get to finish the word.

My eyes flew wide with surprise when all the sudden his lips were on mine. They fluttered closed soon after. I'd never actually kissed a boy before, and such things are hard to describe. He was gentle, but firm, and almost needy. Time seemed to slow down as the outside world disappeared.

When he finally parted for air I was in a daze. Did, did that just..

"I don't deserve you." Draco whispered. And then he was gone.

Draco POV:
I had to leave. Had to get out of there, and away from her. I had thought that kissing her would stop these, these emotions. The urges. It had worked with other girls. Once I'd kissed them, the novelty wore off and I was free to move on.

But it didn't work with Astoria. I'd kissed her, and I wanted to do it again. Until she was pink in the face and all she could think about was me. Kissing her was dangerously addictive, but in the end, I was glad I did it. It was sure to be something we would have to do in front of the cameras and the world. But our first kiss had been ours, and ours alone.

She'd figured me out so quickly. How? How had she been able to see the real me and not been disappointed or repulsed? I was yelling at her. She hadn't moved an inch. Somehow she had found one of the wishes and desires closest to my heart. She said she'd be proud of me. Proud of my efforts. I didn't want that to go to waste.

I found myself outside my mother's rooms. She and Father shared a bedroom, but she had her own small wing for meeting with friends and such. She spent most of her time here, but it had been a while since I sought her out.

I stared at the door, replaying everything Astoria had said. Before I could change my mind, I knocked.

It was time to start trying. Trying to be worthy of her.

I don't deserve you. I had said. But there was one word I hadn't said.

I don't deserve you. Yet.

They kissed!!! Yay!! Big 5-0 and they finally kissed! Sorry for making you all wait so long, but it needed to be at the right time. Please vote or comment to let me know what you think. I have no first hand experience with kissing, so I hope it was okay. Thanks for reading!~M.H.