Ch.17 It's Not You It's Me

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Days seem to be flying by so fast that I cannot even remember what day it is. Everyone seemed to distance themselves from me after I found out about my upcoming death. Anytime I'm around my dads they try to pretend everything is okay but that only last until the tears start falling from papa Cameron's eyes. My "bio" parents still try to get in contact with me every day but I don't seem to have the energy to try to make up for past time or even have any yearning to know what an angel exactly means.

Jacob has only come over a couple of times which is nothing to brag about seeing how he stays for 5 minutes and then makes up an excuse to leave. I haven't heard anything from the Cullens since I was in the hospital, I heard rumors around town that Bella and Edward are engaged. As much as it kills me to think about him marrying her at least he will be happy. Bella gets to live forever while I get to live till my cancer kills me. All these thoughts that keep going through my head get interrupted by a slight knock on the door.

"Amelia, Jacob just called and said he wouldn't be able to come over today," Mitchell said while creaking open my door.

This is getting out of hand. I am over everyone treating me like a rotting corpse and I don't have feelings. If Jacob never wants to come down to see me I'll just make my way to him.

"Amelia-."

Mitchell couldn't finish because I quickly threw my door completely open and pushed past him. I can't handle the constant disappointment and letdown from everyone around me. If I'm going to die, shouldn't people be making sure I die happy and not depressed?

"Oh! Amelia, you're out of your room!" Cam shouted with glee as I continued on the path of leaving this forsaken house.

"I'm leaving."

That is all I can say as I grab my keys and head toward the garage.

All I can think about is how I wish we didn't move to Forks. Everything was normal before we moved here. No one knew about my powers, I was happy with just my two days and I didn't have Edward Cullen making me hate men.

As I drive to Jacob's house, the thought of just driving off a cliff plays in my mind. It feels like it would be easier just to end it all now instead of waiting for impending doom. No one would know. I wouldn't have to deal with the constant sad looks. I wouldn't have to deal with the stupid thoughts of Edward.

I pull up to Jacob's house and I see Billy sitting outside talking to Charlie. It looks like they just came back from a fishing trip. Charlie I can tolerate, Bella, I can't.

"Amelia!" Billy shouts with joy as I get out of my car.
Billy seems the be the only one who doesn't look and treat me like I am a part of the walking dead. I respect that.

"Billy!" I try to shout back with the same energy but the lack of sleep I have been getting and the huge tumor in my brain isn't letting me match his upbeat energy. "Have you seen Jacob?"

As soon as I mention his name I see Jacob coming out of the woods laughing with Seth and Paul.
Seeing him happy and laughing with his friends sent anger through my body. Nature seemed to have sensed my hostility because it of course began to rain.

Billy was talking to me but I stood frozen just watching him live his life carefree with his friends.
I don't know if I'm upset that he didn't come to see me or the fact I'm angry that all this is happening to me.

I was finally snapped out of my daze as Jacob's gaze met mine. His stare makes my stomach flutter but it's nothing compared to Edwards. I don't know what to think and feel anymore. I feel as if the world is against me and I am losing everything to fight for.

Jacob said something to Seth and Paul which caused them to look in my direction.

"Amelia, why don't you come inside before you get sick," Billy spoke up making me break my gaze from Jacob.

"I'm already dying Billy, can't get worse than that," I say while I feel my feet moving me towards Jacob.

"Amelia I-" Jacob starts in before my hand glides across his face.

"I am so glad you are okay." I spit out at him, "I thought there must have been something wrong when you kept canceling on visiting me every chance you got."

"It wasn't anything to do with Amelia, I-."Jacob started to go on again before I pushed him back.
Wolf or not I'm fed up with these idiotic boys.

"So  it's not to you it's me, right?" I scream at him. "Typical response, listen if you don't want to be with me anymore I get it!"

"It's time for us just to part ways, why would anyone want to be with someone who is dying anyway."

The thunder in the distance is the only thing I hear besides my heavy breathing. I shouldn't have realized all this anger on Jacob but I'm tired of everyone not being upfront and avoiding the situation. Jacob obviously doesn't want to be with someone who's going to be dead in a couple of months so he might as well be upfront and tell me.

"You think I don't want to be with you anymore?" Jacob finally spoke up.

"Well isn't that why you have been avoiding me."

Jacob laughed and shook his head in disbelief like he couldn't believe what was happening.

"I was trying to make everything special, I want to make the time you have left count Amelia, so when I found out I knew that I wanted to do this-" Jacob started as he got down on one knee.

"Whoa, whoa what is going Jacob Black," I say as I take a step back in shock.

"Your dads already gave me their blessings, I canceled on seeing you today because I was going to set up a place on the beach to propose tomorrow but looks like now is where it's going to happen." He continues while taking out a small black box revealing a small diamond ring.

"I know it's not much but it was my mother's and I know that she would have loved you

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"I know it's not much but it was my mother's and I know that she would have loved you." Jacob said with tears in his eyes, "I know we don't have that much time together and I don't know how I'll be able to go on without you but will you make me the happiest man in the universe and be my wife, while we still have time."

I didn't notice it finally stopped raining until I noticed the only thing I felt running down my face was my warm tears. This is not how I imagined my life would be headed. Being proposed to in a soaking wet black hoodie crying my eyes out.

Jacob seems to be getting anxious because I'm just standing here in shock crying and not answering the most important question I have ever been asked.

"Okay so I know this was a lot but-" Jacob starts to say before I broke his words off with a kiss.

"Of course, I'll marry you."

What am I doing? 

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