Loss is never easy. Especially not when the person you lose is the person you've looked up to your entire life. Senior year started out like normal, football practices and parties on Friday nights. Beach trips and family dinners. I thought that was how the rest of my last year in high school was going to go. Boy was I wrong. Enter Jaxon Castillo. A boy who changed my entire world. He knocked me off my feet and tilted my world off axis. Beginning the year I didn't think I was looking for a relationship. I wanted to spend my last year with my friends, making memories. God I am so glad that changed. Within a short amount of time he became my everything, he makes me feel safe. But not even him could save me from the heartache I was going to feel. My life will never be the same, I don't know how to be okay again and I don't know how to make my family feel okay again. Loss is never easy. But I never thought I'd go through it. It feels like getting my family back on track is a lost cause.