Mali

Chapter Twenty-Three: Present

My eyes were dry, and puffy and red the following morning. I stayed in the room a little longer after I woke up, taking time to reflect on everything that could go wrong next and what has gone wrong.

I figured out three scenarios in that time.

1.) They welcome me with open arms and give me a hug that I desperately need right now.

Or

2.) I go out and I'm ignored, more ignored then what I've tried to be.

It felt like I was interrogating myself, just like Digby did. It was affective at least, and right now scenario two is winning.

I pushed myself to my feet and made my way over to the single mirror that hang above a wooden dresser.

I looked better then what I was feeling at least. My face felt burning hot yet in the reflection I was white as a ghost. My eyes stood out the most, with puffy bags and reddened skin surrounding them. Almost like a drug addict on withdraw. Felt that way too kind of.

I always hated the color grey and having that as my eye color was depressing to me, but in this instance they looked beautiful. Others told me this, mostly my mom, but for once I felt they were beautiful too. The light shade of grey, the way they starred back at me, I could only imagine what they look like when I smile.

If my blank, emotionalist expression could make them beautiful, then a smile would make them unforgettable, but I couldn't push myself to give even the simplest of a grin. I just, couldn't.

The door opened with a creak and Joey stood in the doorway.

"Oh thank god your alive! We all thought you died-Well mostly me and Everett did. He guessed drowned in tears, I thought your heart bursted into flames or something crazy like that. Mina said she talked with you last night and you seemed pretty normal-or you normal-but good to know your not dead!...", he was bursting with energy, too happy to see my annoyed face until he looked up at the end.

"I'm not helping am I?", Joey gulped before running back down the hall.

I took one final deep breath before walking out of the room to face the crowd.

I hung my head low to keep my swollen eyes hidden.

"Hey.", I quietly mumbled.

Replied quickly with "Good mornings" and "hello's."

I walked over to the counter to be greeted with breakfast. Pancakes, bacon, little bit of eggs, the normal stuff we had been eating for the last couple of days.

Everyone else was either around the table or watching Tv. Some sort of cooking show, Everett must have the remote.

I set the plate down and began eating. Everyone was there, but Ryder. It's better that way, I have more time to think about what I want to say to him.

All I did was yell and scream at Ryder even though none of this was his fault. Maybe Ryder did leave his keys at the rink, even then it's not like he was there when I was attacked. I wasn't exactly in mortal danger anyway, it's the fact that I had to use them again to hurt another person.

But, that man was attacking me, trying to choke me of all things. He should have never left me alone. But, he had to go get his keys!

I was having a fight inside my head. Like the Devil and Angel usually on my shoulders were now fist fighting up there. All while on the outside it looked like I was just eating some eggs.

Great, I'm going even more mentally insane now. Just peachy.

Ryder. Every time I said his name, I was filled with joy. The thought of him brought me happiness. How could I have hurt him. How dare of me to hurt him.

I need apologize, don't explain too much and make this more complicated then what I am making it. Say it. Don't make it any more awkward then what it's going to be.

Then on cue, Ryder walked out into the room. His face was red and puffy, too. Like he was crying all night long, the guilt that was already building up just grew three more sizes.

He looked at me and I looked at him. The room was silent and everyone was looking at us. At us.

I took a deep breathe and rose from my seat. Setting my fork down with a clink. I wanted to blurt out and scream "I'm sorry!", but the words couldn't form.

I proceed to approach him as he approached me. Warm, wet tears began to form in my eyes and I let them. I had really hurt him, I had hurt the guy who was my only friend from the beginning. My only true friend.

Before I knew what I was doing I was running into his arms. Pushing a chair out of the way to get to him. We both stood there in an embrace in the end.

Kissing.