Mali

Chapter Twenty-Six: Past

-=Three Months Later=-

Life continued on, with an exception. We each began having daily meetings with Digby. Every Friday. No miss. At 8 o'clock. No time later, no time earlier. And, we began the first meeting with all the same. Something personal to us was said. Something that was meant to hurt.

Ryder was told his brother was killed in a hit and run, the driver is still unknown.

Mina was told that their mother commuted suicide over the loss of her two children.

Jarred's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer shortly after Jarred's arrest.

Then Everett. Everett lost his entire family to a house fire. His mom, his dad, even his three year old sister.

And, of course me, with my mom. Apparently shortly after my father's release from the hospital he was back to his late night drinking. One night when he came home he was so angry with my mother, for not making the bed of all reason, that he pushed her down the stairs. She hit her head on the last step and bled out a slow death.

My father had plenty of time to call 911, but he didn't. He watched her die. Watched her cry pain. Listen to her call for help. Drank until he too was passed out beside her lifeless body.

Whatever reason they had to tell us this information, if it was to hurt us, it worked. We all were pretty shaken up for the next couple of weeks.

Loosing family is hard enough, but it's when you're not there to see them if even harder. You don't get to say good-bye, you don't get to see them being lifted down into their grave, and you don't get to place their flowers on their grave. You can't.

I had always thought about what would happen if my dad ever came to kill my mom, or when the time come in which I had to bury them. I wondered if I would be crying, sobbing uncontrollably, or remain emotionless. I was all of the above.

I cried at first, from the shock that my mom had died, but I quickly regained myself. Wiped away the tears before I met back up the rest of us. It wasn't until later that night I feel like everything sank in.

My eyes were puffy and dry, my pillow soaked in tears, and it lasted all night. Non-stop. Sadness.

They expected Friday to continue on like nothing happened and it did. We trained, reflected, had a smaller chat about training with Digby, and then bed.

It went back on schedule for the next three months, like nothing had happened.

I went in as usual for this talk. I walked straight to the chair, took my seat, and waited for the questions.

Today, was different.

Today, when I sat down I remembered something. The piece of paper with that quote I wrote down nearly two years ago now. In my hideout:

There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying.

A smile immediately grew across my face, Digby picked up on that.

"What is it?", she asked, noticing the slip in my hand.

Focused on the paper, "Something personal.", I replied.

"Why don't you show me it?", she sounded like a little schoolgirl who wanted to see a cool new toy you brought in. High pitched and annoying.

I ignored her.

She got up and proceeded to walk towards me. I pulled the paper back, but she was already snatching it from my fingers before I could do more.

She read it first in silence, gave a small smile herself, and read it out loud.

"It's curious how much you Mali's get so excited over things that are so little.", she ripped the paper in half.

"Hey!", I hissed at her, "Why did you do that?"

She tossed the pieces aside and stared back at me, "You don't need to waste your time on such a stupid quote. Following your heart? Ha.", she snickeredw, "Mali's don't have hearts."

That's where my anger for her grew even stronger.

"You're falling behind again. Your training officers are disappointed. They feel like you should be dropped from the program?", she was filled with disappointment. I'm not surprised, comparing me to Ryder, the only other person in there to truly compare me to.

"No!", I shout back, "I'm staying."

She sneered, "Sudden confidence I see? Maybe you should have used that when your father was killing your mother?"

I jumped to my feet, but was shut down when two guards rushed me. Almost immediately shoving chains around my ankles that connected me to the solid chair. I couldn't move, so I stood still, "You have no right to say that!", I shouted.

Digby laughed, "Of course I do, I run this place. Including you."

In a force of habit, I began to bite down hard. Grinding my teeth even. It helps me through pain, "My mother was murdered when I was helpless. I was here, not there. I would have stopped it if I was."

"Stopped it?", she jeered, "You didn't even stop it the first time.", she slipped back into the darkness that surrounds us. I couldn't find her.

I sat down with a huff. I was on the verge of crying. I always teared up when I couldn't say anything else back, I've noticed I cry even more now here then I was in my abusive household. A positive future, what the hell was I thinking.

I had enough with attending this meetings with Digby to only be belittled by her comments, her actions, her everything.

I looked down at my shaking hands and watched a single tear splash down into the center of my palm. See it curve in and out of the lines that connected my skin.

I closed my eyes and thought of something that could only keep me sane at this point,

There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying.

I tried focusing on that. The only thing I know is true. Keeping the lies Digby was convincing me with out. Telling me what I am not, what I need to be, embedding it into my head, but I push it back. It wasn't working on me.

"You're weak in this world!", she was screaming. I couldn't tell where she was, but it felt like she was all around me. "They damage you, and they destroy you just like they already have!"

There comes a time when the world gets quiet, I was shouting it in my mind, The only thing left is your heart, it was working I was blocking her words out, So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise..Otherwise...

No! Zara! My words were getting confusing, mixed up. I looked up to only be a few inches from her face,

"You'll never understand what it's saying!", I was yelling.

"I am a Mali!"

I pushed my self to my feet, ultimately forcing Digby to stagger backwards. She gave the smallest of grins while when you looked into her black eyes you saw excitement. Excitement in which she knew, and I knew, I had done something she had been waiting for me to do. Progress.

"I think this is enough for today, Ms. Black. Thank you.", the chains clicked opened and I proceed to the door.

Ryder was outside, I assume waiting for his turn with her. I run up to and whisper in his ear, "We're escaping. Tomorrow for all I care."

We will escape.