Mali

Chapter Fourteen: Past

"I killed a guy Ryder! I killed him!", I was screaming at the top of my lungs now. The realization of what I have done has kicked in.

It doesn't matter if he was that horrible abusive father, he was still a person and I killed him!! I was pacing back and forth now.

We were in a gas station bathroom a mile outside the small town. I'm surprised the clerk out front didn't come back here yet to see what we were doing.

"Just calm down, you did the right thing! We're not even sure if he is dead.", Ryder responded trying to sound reasonable.

But, I can't be reasonable right now. I can't.

"You had to get away at some point. It was just a little bit sooner then you thought.", I know he is trying to make me feel better about this, but it isn't working.

I told him, "Shut up.", and continued pacing the floor.

There was silence. It was nice, but him talking actually helped me.

I can't do this, I just can't. I'm not meant to be this kind of person. A murder. I was that girl who sat in the corner of the room, hoping the world would notice me enough to have a life. But, now it's going to see me as a teen murderer who killed her dad for what others will see as no reason. It's just how messed up this cruel world is.

It takes the truth and it's twists it into something far worse.

I come back to my senses and I am kneeling now. The air was thick and hard to breathe. My eyes are closed and I have my hands covering them as well. I was rocking back and forth. To Ryder I must look like a psych patient who was off her meds.

I swallowed hard, clearing my dry throat, and stood back up, "We should go.", I said.

I have nothing. All I have left is what I have on. My worn black jacket, a red shirt, and jeans. I checked my left pocket to see if I had any money by chance, but I was broke. I checked my right and pulled out a piece of paper.

Upon inspection it was the quote I had written down earlier.

There comes a time when the world gets quiet and the only thing left is your own heart. So you'd better learn the sound of it. Otherwise you'll never understand what it's saying.

Well, isn't this ironic. I am left alone in the world with Ryder, who I have only known for three days, with me. But, it is telling some truth.

I need to know what I am. What I am doing really. It's saying I need to stick to what I know best.

Me.

Even if I did kill that guy and I am going to be known as a murder I still have to be me.

By now we are outside and walking down the road. Everything was silent except for the wind that shook the trees. Twigs and leaves are flying around us because the wind was that forceful. It was beautiful in a way.

"I was planing on moving on tomorrow anyway.", said Ryder breaking the silence between us.

"What?", was all I could spit out.

"Leave town. I can't-We can't stand in one place for too long. So, I was hoping you would go with me.", replied Ryder, almost trailing off at the end.

I took a pause before speaking, "Why?", I continued walking forward.

"You can't stay in one place. That's just how they find you.", replied Ryder.

He's playing the pronoun game, "Who are they.", I asked.

"The M.P.A. Mali Protection Agency. What was there slogan? We protect the special, while protecting the ordinary. It's ironic in a way.", answered Ryder, "It's all just bullshit."

There was silence once again. The wind had come to almost a complete stop. All that was around was me and Ryder.

We continued walking for another ten minutes before I had to say something, "Why should we fear them?"

His footsteps stopped. I turned around to see him standing still. His face showed the fear yet he was confused. Almost debating within himself to tell me.

"Lets just say...", he began, "Once you go in you never come out, and if you do...", he paused once more, almost for the emphasis, "You won't be the same."

He brushed past me and took the lead. I quickly followed behind, I get the point. You don't want to get captured. Because if Ryder, who I thought was a strong and brave guy, is afraid of that place, and has been running away from them for the last three years.

Then let's just hope I can out run them too.