Fragile

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                                                               Don't let your mind bully your body".
                                                    -June Tomaso Wood

I feed Sophia and change her then I go find dad. He was in the gardens with a furlough look on his face.

"Hey daddy ".

"Hey sweetie, I really am a terrible father".

"Daddy no you're not".

"I didn't notice your mother hurting you and if you didn't go to rehab I would never have known. My daughter was a drug addict and I didn't know. My wife was a social climber who towards the end of our marriage. I couldn't stand being near".

I gasp and take his hand in mine, "I thought you both had a happy marriage".

"We did at the beginning but after William was born I started to see things about her I didn't before. She kept going on about being queen constantly. I knew then she married me for the status it afforded her. When I started dating Maria I saw how a woman behaves when she's in love with you. It really opened my eyes she's a Duchess from birth so she doesn't need my title but one day I hope to give it to her".

"Oh daddy you stayed in an unhappy marriage for us".

"I did what I though was best at the time".

"Thank god you have a good woman now".

"I can't believe this time next week Anette and Emma won't be alive", I started to cry at his words.

Dad hugs me, "My daughter tried to kill me and she and my wife plotted together to destroy our family. As much as I loved both of them at one point in time. I can't feel any sympathy for either of them right now. Maybe when the rage isn't so raw I may feel differently".

I wipe my eyes and remove myself from the hug. My dad was right I see now that I'm feeling anger and if I'm being honest with myself pity for Emma.

I once misguidedly blamed Debbie for the hurt my mother would inflict on me. Maybe Emma who seemed to think she had to be perfect blamed me for her situation in the same misguided way. I shake my head no don't think like that Victoria I thought to myself. Emma is just plain evil I would never commit murder.

I hear bees humming and I'm reminded I'm in the gardens and come back to the present. I look at dad, "You are a great father you know. I never wondered if you loved me. I'm sure William will tell you the same thing. You still have two kids who love you to bits and a granddaughter to dote on".

"You're right there's a lot of positives in my life".

I look at my watch, "Dad I've to go and get ready for my engagement".

"Ok, I'm going to stay out here a little longer".

I did the final checks for the reception then have a shower and change into a pastel blue dress from a local designer. I put my hair in a low ponytail and put a headband on my head. When the engagement starts I say hello to my guest and listen to the speakers. I get up and make a speech and the night continues. When the night was over I check in on Diego who was siting on the bed watching cartoons with Sophia in our bedroom.

"Hey honey what you watching?"

"I think it's call Peppa Pig, it seems to calm Sophia which is good. How was the engagement?"

"Fine, I don't ever think I will get tired of doing them".

"I heard you spoke to your dad how did it go?"

"He thinks he's a bad father for not seeing my abuse. It doesn't help his daughter tried to kill him along with his wife. He's hurting and hurting badly I'm glad he will have William and Eva with him in Denmark to help him heal".

"I don't think my mother ever loved him she loved his title not him. How else could she help plan his murder so easily. I understand in a way why they tried to kill my child. I wasn't suppose to be here a Crown Princess. Emma is the one who should be here like she said. I was incredibly selfish in the past. I didn't see that she was hurting and hurting badly. She had to live up to an imagine she crafted a little too well for herself. I thought she was fine I really did. If I'm being honest there were times I questioned silently what she said to me. As well as her behaviour towards me, but then dismissed it as me seeing something that wasn't there".

"Let's make a promise to talk to each other Vic. To be honest with each other and discuss any issues we have. You're not at fault for their actions. Your father loved you and they wanted to take that away from you. Your child brings you happiness they wanted to use her death to break you. Don't let them make you start doubting yourself. You deserve to be here as a Crown Princess don't let anyone tell you differently.  Yes you were selfish in the past but look at the changes you made since then. Those changes didn't come from no where. You had to put in the hard work to change and became a better person remember that. Like you Emma  pretended everything was okay with her. How were you suppose to know she was hurting if she never told you?"

Diego was right I spend a lot of time with my sister and she never gave a hint something was wrong or she hated me until I got engaged. We laugh and joked and watched boxsets I thought she loved me.  I'm not going to beat myself up because of what happened anymore.  I'm a shadow of my former self and I'm damn proud of that fact.

"Diego since dad and William are leaving Saturday and we don't have any engagements at the end of next week. Can we go to our country house from Wednesday?"

"Of course darling we should invite the rest of the family mom is really stress right now. She's still processing she could have lost her granddaughter and you. Unless you just wanted it to be the three of us only".

"I know they have engagements next Friday. By going to the country house first we get some time for ourselves before the rest of the family arrive. It's fine with me if they stay at the country house with us".

I leave Diego and go have a shower, I walk back into the bedroom clad in a towel. "Actually I would prefer if only you and Sophie go to the country house. I want to spent time together with just you and Sophia".

"Of course you should've said that before I wouldn't have been mad. I  just thought with your dad and brother going home you would want the whole family around you".

"I said yes to please you then realise I just promised to talk to you and lied to you not long after. I just want the three of us and our security with us on our trip".

"We won't work if you keep trying to please me darling. I rather we argue and sort out our differences. I should've seen you wanted to spend time with just me and this little one here."

I change into pyjamas and take Sophia from him kissing her on the cheek.

"I don't know why I just lied to you like that I've always stood my ground with you before".

"You're feeling fragile at the moment you're not going to lose me if we argue and I'll say it again. You do deserve everything you have now".

"Thank you".

I change Sophia, feed her and put her in her crib then Diego and I cuddle in bed. He turns on the tv and we decide to watch The Crown on Netflix. We've just started watching it and I love it.

My mother and sister are dead and my brother and father along with Eva went back to Denmark.  Eva is pregnant I'm please for her and William. This gives him something to look forward to and my dad a grandchild in the same country as him.

They left death behind them and have life to look forward to. Denmark has something positive to look forward to. A  new royal baby and a royal wedding. I know William hasn't ask her yet but he told me and dad he will propose to her when they get back to Denmark.

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