The divorce

Chapter 5

She is going to be fine , she just needs more sleep, less stress and proper eating,  I  heard someone saying as I tried opening my eyes ,

Oh, there she  is waking up !! I heard someone saying as I fully opened my eyes and looked at the person who was talking .Infront of me I was met with my mother's  face and an unfamiliar person.

Honey, you are awake,  how are you feeling !! She asked me worriedly.

Water , I tell her and she took  a glass filled with water and helped me drink every single drop .

" Thanks mom, I tell her. "
It's  okay darling !! How am I here!! I asked her a little confused caring what had gotten into me and how I ended up on bed rest .

Honey, you were heating up so bad when I got there and your useless pig insolent husband wasn't  there,  I just saw you  sleeping on the bed with covers around you , I called an ambulance and took you to the hospital ! She explained qlittle agitated.

My heart ached even more , I felt myself breaking , it was too much, does he really hate me this much, did he forget how happy we were when we were together,  how I took care of him when he got sick, and facing  tough times together. ?

" I hate him so much " I felt bile rising up on my mouth ,  I squirmed from the bed and looking for  a toilet.

It's  over there , Mom pointed out !! I went in the bathroom vomited each and everything I had in my stomach, I wonder why am I like this , but I am pretty sure the answer is that  , I am just disgusted with myself and my so called husband.

I washed my face but froze when I saw my reflection of myself on the mirror,  " I looked like a ghost who had disspear  from her own grave, " I chuckled lightly and went outside.

Wow, you look like .... " my mom said and stiffened a laugh , a ghost!! I replied to her and she burst out laughing.  "

Right!
" I  guess there is  nothing  to compare you with with that horrondous look . "
She jokes and looked at her nails and made a side eye contact with me making us  both burst into a fit of laughter .

" oh  lord !  "

Mom , stop it I tell her , So what did the doctor say!! I ask her making my way on the bed  . Eat that food first , she instructs pointing on the plate and a bowl of hot soup .

Okay !! I mumbled  and started eating the meal .

" This is so delicious , I trailed off "

Delicious huh? Not even a thank you for me You ungrateful brat .

  I cooked it for you before I decided to  come to your house , I knew you needed this .  She lightly explains looking anywhere but me   .

I nod my head understanding . And added , " I am no ungrateful " with a roll of an eye making her scoff ,

Yea yea yea , she replies rolling her eyes .

So tell me what did the doctor say!

Not a big deal, how long were you not having enough sleep!? She asks .

"  A week now or so ,I mumbled and freeze looking at her.  "

Why do you put yourself in so much pain !! Why katrina !! My mom asked me with concern and I stuffed my mouth with alot of  food that I have been eating. " Stop stuffing your mouth like that , there's  plenty , you may get hiccups or choke " she spat angrily and gave me a glass of juice annoyed. 

Thank you,I mumbled and she gave me a glare, " mom, I am sorry I won't  do it again I tell her suddenly after a sip  "

You better , because I will make sure that your skinny bones turn out into a fat potato bear, she tells me.

" But mom, I am not skinny , I pouted as I look at her  ," Hmmpf, says the one who looks like a zombie infront of my eyes , she shrugged  away and looked at me  with a sneer .

Soon her voice changed into a concern,Motherly mode alert!  

You have to understand,  sometimes we have to let it go but that doesn't mean you have to torture yourself, not having enough  sleep ,   not eating your meals on time,  " what do you think of yourself?" A loveless , emotionless machine !!? "

Mom, I am sorry for making you worried , Its  okay my baby but please you have to love yourself first,  she tells me and  a tear threatened to slip from her eye!! She acts strong but in reality my pain is also hers ,

I realised something, I wanted to go far away from here ..I wanted time .
I want to be more stronger ,and change my environment too . I look at my mom's  heartbroken face as she tried to smile and look at me but she failed .

Mom, can I ask you for something !! What is it my dear ? She replied quickly . 

Can you please arrange up my divorce fast!! And please I want something from  you mom after finalising the divorce ,  She looked at me quizically .

"A..are you sure!? "  She asks with amusement amd unsure .

It's  not late mom is it!? I ask her but she looked at me like I  have grown two heads not understanding  what I ameant .

" Is it too late to chase my dreams ?"   I ask her quietly ,  after a moment of silence she broke down crying .

My dear, when i told you , you have to wake up and find yourself, I didn't  tell you to go out there and do choose that sick career again. You are my youngest daughter and yet you  have the sickest mind which I never had thought  you could have one ,

" oh my god what  should I  do to change your mind ?" She asked with tears understanding my desires .

"Nothing mom !!"  I just want to chase what I am looking for , and be the person I want to be, I  said to her in between smiles and tears.

" I love you my dear, and I will never discourage you in this " she says and embraced my body ."

" I am going  to make arrangements for this sooner,  so that you could get out of here after you have finalised your divorce, she tells me with a smile after she rubbed off the tears . "

Her smile did not convince me , I know deep down she doesn't  want me to drawn myself in the path that I have chosen .

Don't  look at me like that, I am your mother  ,and I have to be worried with your sick choices,  I looked at her with a smile .

Oh my god  Katrina , you are sick !! " Why are you laughing like that while you are about to sign your life in  a fucking swarm " she started complaining again as tears fell from her eyes het again .It's  going to be okay !! I tell her and she smiled  again with  tears .

I will see you later, she tells me and left me on the hospital bed with alot of thoughts in my head .Maybe this path  will give me  a piece of mind and  will make me find my purpose ...

And what I wasn't  able to get.

" I closed my eyes and let sleep consume  me , I hope everything goes well these last few days " I can't  wait to chase my dreams joining the force.