The divorce

chapter 27

Katrina

We were back on the fields and we were having iurfood , I chose spaghetti , freezed salads and a bottle of water .

I ate silently looking at the other women talking and laughing with the men enjoying their meals ,

I can't help but feel sad after what I did with Conrad , I feel like he just wanted to talk to  me as a friend and I overreacted but the deed has already been done,

Great that I didn't beat him up , or else  I would have been  wallowing in guilt , he is such a good man and my temper took the best of me .

I need to find him and apologise , I muttured and carried on eating . As I keep on staying in this place I have realized conrad was right, 

I was lonely , I pushed out every body and made this tiny space and designed  it only  for myself .. and no one fits to be in that role than only me .

I tried making friends once but I ended up getting scared , what if they knew of who I am , ? I know every one kniws my mom with a glance , but I am too surprised on why none of these people have identified me till now  ,

I mean I was on the news just few weeks ago , ?

Stop thinking .. my subconscious reminded me ,

"And it's better this way , ''I wouldn't like to be famous just because I was a daughter of a rich woaman .

Being low-key is the best medicine , silence and away from people is the best drug. 

The women looked at me  with side eyes ,  And some familiar faces that knew me too but I wouldn't blame them , In their eyes I was like a freak because I didn't know what to say when I was with them ,
I am always silent around them all ..

As for that I decided to stay away from everyone  , I had a peace of mind though knowing that I trusted nobody ,

This place is full of mysterious people , once I caught the other women talking about me , how silent I am , how freaky I looked becuase I couldn't talk to anybody .

In short , they ended up blowing up some very hurtful comments about me and my body shamelessly .

I don't even want to think of how I restrained myself and not pounced on them and beating them up black and blue .

It was in the night when I wanted to go and take a bath but I ended up stuck on the stall listening to their words against me , and the most shit thing is that many of those girls have never talked to me .

Sighing out loud and shaking the bitter memories , I drank a mouthful of water and chewing the last pieces of food stuck in my teeth ,

Standing up , I walked to the toilet , did my business and brushed the dirt off on my uniform ,

I am ready to go .. I mumbled and turned to get out only to meet three girls who looked smugly at me ,

Frowning , I looked at them and asked them calmly , " Can I please pass , ?"

Where to freak ?

Oh no they didn't ..

Coughing out lightly  , I asked them lightly ,  '' what do you guys want, ?'' I was sure that this was a group who had the nerve of ganging up against me and the others  just becuase we didn't talk to them ,

Women !!

"Are they even okay upstairs (mind) , ? "

Doesn't matter why we are here , I wonder why are you here with us , ?

You look like  a freak who has just woken up and ended up being dumped into this place , you are not one among us ! One of them incurred pointed harshly on my chest ,

Don't touch me !! I gritted out

Or what freak ,?

I clenched my jaw and fisted my arm, I hate bullies .. I hate people like them but I have to hold myself back becuase I wouldn't want to risk it and get punished ,

No one would do shit to you .. my subconscious trailed off,

I have demons in my brain I tell you, outside I am flat no emotion and nobody can read whatever that's in mind. 

"Are you all done , ?" I asked and eyed them throughly , they think this is highschool  and they have every right to mess up with anyone's affair ,

"What ,?" They asked in a disbelief , they really need to go back from where they came from and graduate again .

If you think that this is highschool and  you would tail in someone else's life then I assure you, you better think first before launching on somebody and make some crafty remarks about them .

I expect you guys to never talk to me ever again until we are done with  these trainings because the moment any of you decide to talk  to  me ,

I swear ....

You swear what , ? A girl with  brown hair and a very tanned complexion who I didn't know her name asked , not like I give a  damn because I knew no one's name among them .

I looked at them both intimidatingly , " You will get it from me .. "

And one more thing, this  is not high school !

I walked out like I owned the place after pushing them off my way leaving them stunned , if they  didn't come with  manners where  they came from . I am pretty sure there are a lot  of people who can teach them in here , they shouldn't go play around and mess with people in here ,

They have no idea who they are picking on and the last thing you are going to hear next time , they are out or beaten black and blue by some people who do not take shit from babies like them .

I walked back to my spot and felt eyes on me , narrowing my eyes I looked at the stares and found a group of men and women looking at me ,

I identified Conrad among them , but he refused to meet my eyes . Shaking my head I took out the diary that I have been walking with day and night as opened flipped pages  waiting for the Saergent to  come back and carry on the training,

I felt extremely uncomfortable after few minutes , I can feel eyes on me .

Frustrated I took my things and walked away from there hiding my freaky self from them .

Damn it ! I mumbled and wiped a non-existnce sweat on my face ,

For how long didn't I look myself in the mirror , ? I have no idea .. I am Sure I look as rough as my  hair right now .

Contemplating whether I should tie my hair again in a tight  bun ,I had to do it after feeling it getting lose now and then ,

But if the sergeant decides to show up right now then I am dead ,

Quickly I took off the cap and take a hold of my hair and comb it with my finger and tie it back with force that my scalp ached making me wince,

"Recruits line up !! " I heard the segeant's  voice ,

Fuck ,why now ? ....

Thanks for reading 🌹☘️and sorry for the long wait