The divorce

Chapter 9

I was sleeping on the sofa as I watched the news , my heart feels so empty and at the same time full. After  the court case hearing, I couldn't  bring myself to even face my so called husband .Although mom and my brother and sister are trying their best to cheer me up .but we all know that betrayal of your loved ones hurt like no other.

Divorce is bad ... you could hear it from a friend or so going into that phase but you don't want that to happen to you becuase  The feeling and experience  overwhelms and makes you regret  about everything.  The good and bad , " it's  hard.  "

That man broke me , humiliate me and he thought that it wasn't  enough but to frame me infront  of all those people, " How can people be so cruel , I couldn't  stop crying at all " It was hard  painful and unbelievable  at the same time .

Because he was my husband , even if he didn't  appreciate me , but I did to him . " I loved him so much and he kept on hurting  me while I keep on forgiving him and trying to adjust with him .

" I thought I was the one who had problems and wasn't  enough for him but i think I was completely wrong because he was just a man who was using me for my money and i couldn't  see it, just like other people like him and his family ."

I will never forgive him, ever ...I am never going to be a weak woman going and crawling back to that asshole . I wiped of my tears and went inside my room . I went inside the bathroom and took a shower ,i washed my dirty hair and then I walked back in my room.

I removed the towel and stayed naked looking at my body, " Leonardo wasn't  wrong when he said , I was as skinny as a stick, my then plump boobs look like they have aged , " I now rember that I had never even once loved myself or my body, I only wanted to Satisfy my ass of a husband while in return I got nothing from him but pain ."

I went to my wardrobe and took my new clothes , I,  my sister,  brother and mom went shopping  days ago just for me , " They said it will help with healing and changing my previous lifestyle, my look , and  also the way of dressing  , Mom strictly said that i shouldn't wear the clothes  which i have been wearing at  my  to be ex husband, She wanted me to have  some  new pair of clothes and I clearly understood"

Everyone has their own styles of healing,  I thank God that I have these people on my side to assist me in all these ,I will forever be grateful and I will never get enough of thanking them .

The clothes which I came with them from my going to be ex husband are still in the box and to be honest,  I am going to give them all to charity, " I want to start my life ,with everything new , I smiled even if it was fake , but I am trying my best and I will try fighting this vengeance I have inside me."

I can't  say that i am done with love , i know deep down that the love which I am looking for now is only my family's,  no other way round.  They are worth my time , they are worth than anything in this world and I am grateful that I have these people.
I wore black pants and tucked in my t-shirt , did my make up and took my snickers and wear them. 

" Well, I look more beautiful than before , I murmured. " I took my little purse and went outside my room .

Baby, where are you going!? I heard my brother  asking me .. " aren't  you supposed to be like in the office ? I ask him puzzled . Don't  change the subject, where are you going !! He asks sternly ...

Hold on, okay!? I am going to the church,  I tell him and he looked at me with raised eyebrows and he caressed his chin . Wait here ..I want to go too.

I  heard him stating when he ran upstairs into his room . Soon he came back wearing non- office clothes and smiled at me , " how do I look? He twirl around "

" Hot?" I tell him giggling...

Yes , "madamesèlle, " he cracked out the French accent making my nerves burst into a laughter," no, I swear you sound like a cockroach, I tell him and he gave me a cheeky smile.

You are just jealous of my voice katrina , I know that!!  he battled his lashes dramatically making me laugh more, " I never knew Leonardo has this playful and funny side of him "

He is full of humour,  I love my bro , " we hold hands and walked out side the house . " can I please drive ? i ask him with a pout , " nop, Katrina , you are at  home ,you are my queen and everyone's queen at home " and I can't  risk your crazy stressd mind driving a healthy dude like me !! " he fired back making me chuckle.

We reached at the church in no time , it was a working  day so there weren't  alot of people inside  , " come " leo tells me and we walked inside to the front seats . The priest was preaching and people were listening, we sat on the front rows and listen  to his preaching and coincidently,  " he was talking bout moving on from pain "

I let my ears open up about what he was saying, Stayed silently as I heard him talking, " it is really hard after  a person , a man or a woman has been hurt.  Even babies too , the best thing for  a person is to move on and learn how to cope up with the pain and learn to love themselves, " jesus is always there to guide you in all your paths although it is  going to be your obligations to help yourself but Christ will push you through the right path  .

He concluded , He narrated a prayer and soon I walked to him after people moved out . I didn't  know what to say!!
The priest looked at me and said , " listen  my dear, everyone is given a chance to live once , even if things are really hard at your place !! Follow jesus, call him when you need him and remember to help yourself in finding peace and better love your seeking .

Love yourself and everything will come  and will be looking for you one at a time , I just felt my tears streaming down and I had this big smile on my face . " He made a cross on my chest and blessed me and said,  go find yourself out there and find jesus he is in your heart, " keep  on trying!! .

I wiped my tears and run to my brother who was busy closing his eyes praying, I burst out laughing thinking of what is he praying for this time ,

"Wearing mom's brassiere and not being caught? Or taking and stealing  her winter scarfs and not being yelled at  ."

And what  are you laughing about !? Umm .. nothing !! I tell him and smack his back playfully..what did you talk with the priest?...nothing i tell him and he nods his head . " okay secret keeper !! He stressed  the words on his mouth making me roll my eyes .

We walked out of the church and we were met with a familiar  face walking towards us  making my whole body freeze...

        Damon!!..