California: Panic at the disco?
California: More like panic at the everywhere [cries]
California: Colorado, you shouldn't be cooking while you're high
Colorado: I'm fine
California: There's a guitar in the microwave
Florida, boiling water: I'm making holy water
Utah: How is that making holy water?
Florida: I'm boiling the hell out of it
Florida: [dying]
Texas: Hey, it's okay, you're gonna make it
Florida: Can you... Get Louisiana on the phone...
Texas: Of course, anything
Louisiana, on the phone: yo wuddup
Florida: hey... I, uh... I'm in a bit of a situation... I need you to do something for me...
Louisiana: Yeah, man, sure
Florida: delete... My browser history
Louisiana: Oh, yeah, can do. You dying?
Florida: yeah, you know what to do
They hang up
Texas: what the fuck
Florida and Louisiana: [Getting ready for a night out]
DC: Dont forget to drink responsibly
Florida: I would drink responsibly if there was a drink called responsibly
Florida & Louisiana: [Highfive]
DC: [Facepalms]
California: Sorry but I'm not allowed to roast you anymore
Texas: what? Why?
California: cuz New York said I'm not allowed to burn trash.
Florida: I love you!
Louisiana: I love you more.
Florida: No, I love you more.
Louisiana: You're signing yourself up for a war you cannot win.
Florida: Game on, bitch.
California: Love is dead. It never existed. Anyone that thinks otherwise is a fool.
New York: [smiles]
California: Hold up a second-
Florida: This is me with all my problems
DC: You're holding a fork
Florida: [tries to scoop up milk with the fork while looking DC in the eyes]
DC: What does that mean
Florida: are we about to kiss rn 😳 👉👈
New York: I was actually about to give you a black eye, but it's nice to know where your heads at.
Georgia: He stole from me first!
Florida: Mhm.
Georgia: Stole my heart...
New York: It is still illegal to commit murder.
DC: Would you stab your best friend in the leg for 10 million gold.
Louisiana: You stab me, and then when my leg gets better, we buy a big-ass house.
Florida: You can stab me too, then we'll have 20 million.
Louisiana: Good thinking.
[Trying to con some random guy]
Washington: Um, Florida, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?
Florida: We need money!
DC: You're scamming him?
Florida: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?
Washington: What?! No way!
Florida: Why not? We already stole Jaxon!
Jaxon: Hey guys
DC: No, we didn't. Jaxon can think and talk for himself, he can do whatever he wants!
Jaxon: I wanna steal
Texas: I have the height advantage
Florida: yeah but your kneecaps don't
California: I think therefore I am
Florida, panicking: What if I don't think
California: Then you aren't
Florida: Holy shit
California: Just be yourself.
Florida: 'Be myself'? California, I have one day to win DC over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?
Louisiana: Couple weeks.
Georgia: Six months.
New York: Jury's still out.
Florida: See, Cali?
Florida: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?
YOU ARE READING
Lord give me strength
FanfictionBased on the series 'Welcome to the Statehouse' by Ben Brainard on Youtube/TikTok/Instagram
