Lord give me strength

93

Florida, to Louisiana: FIGHT ME!

California: Stop telling everyone to fight you

Louisiana: Yeah, you're tiny

Florida: My height doesn't effect my ability to snap someone's neck in 97 different ways! INCLUDING YOURS!

California: You couldn't even reach

Florida: Do you really want to test me? I have a step stool a foot away from me. DO NOT MAKE ME USE IT!!

California: Florida is kind of like the sun for me

Louisiana: Because he's the light of your life?

California: No, because the longer I stare at him the more I regret it

Louisiana: But you love him, right?

California: Obviously, all I'm asking is-

Florida: [running and wearing a rainbow cape] Look! I'm a gay superhero

California: Oh my god

Florida: [gasp] I'm Supergay.

California: I take it back. I love him.

Person: You're going to hell for being gay-

Florida: W-

California, wearing red contacts: [lowers sunglasses] Of course I am, I have a kingdom to run

Florida/Louisiana, in love: Holy shit

Louisiana: [kills a spider]

Florida & California: God I wish that were me

Louisiana: Go put a dollar in the self-hatred jar, both of you.

California, putting a five in: Good thing I'm basically rich

Florida: I'm broke, he's paying

[Florida texts them during a meeting]

Florida: Get your bitch asses here and cuddle with me you little shits

California: We're in a meeting

Florida: So?

Louisiana: Good point, we're on our way

Florida: Safety goggles are for nerds

California: they're useful if you wanna have nerd things

California: Like EYES

California: Stop laughing! I'm angry!

Louisiana: I'm sorry but you're really cute like this

California: Yeah, and you're really cute with a broken nose

Florida: Can I call you Cali?

California: Yeah? I don't care

Florida: Really?

California: yeah, call me what ever you want-

Florida: My boyfriend

California, flustered: Wait-

California: Have you seen my book?

Florida, having an existential crisis: Trick question. Your book doesn't exist, nothing does. We are all just meaningless particles in the vast emptiness of space

California: I'll just go ask Louisiana

California: Why do straight men walk so slow?

Florida: Because if they walk too fast they could trip and fall into another man's arms and that's gay

Edit: I used the wrong version of the draft, this was supposed to be a Florida/Louisiana/California thing, but I was going to post all of them anyway so I'm keeping it- here's the missing ones from the original

Texas: How do you want your popcorn, salty or sweet?

Florida and Louisiana, making heart eyes at California: Like him

Texas: They don't sell ugly popcorn

[coming home with groceries]

Florida: Hey can you hold this for me

California: [holds his hand out] yeah sure

Florida: [moves every bag to one hand and grabs Cali's hand with the other]

Louisiana: You're going to break your arm

Florida, touch starved and gay: So?

Edit: removed quotes