*I dedicated this chapter to Nahna14 because she had my notifications turnt with comments and I was lmfao at all of them so TY!!'
The drive to my house is quiet. I stare out the window and watch the houses roll by. I wish I could just go away on vacation and be alone for awhile. After 20 minutes of silence we finally made it to my house. Branden jumped out and ran to my side to help me, I thought that was funny. Chivalry use to make me wince and question everything because I've never had anyone treat me like that, but I'm slowly getting use to it. He helped me up the stairs to the door and took my keys and opened the door himself.
"Um Branden, I hurt my hand and head lol. I'm not in a body cast or wheelchair or something."
"I'm just tryna help you." He said and I could hear a tiny bit of anger in his voice.
Oh? Why the anger? "ok....im sorry."
We walk in and Branden's gets comfortable on the couch and I go upstairs to take a bath. I run my bath, wrap my hand in plastic, untie my hair and remove my head bandage. I had stitches this entire time and didn't even know, I guess I hurt myself way more than I thought. I wrap my hand in plastic, pour a bunch of bubble bath in the water and step in. I slowly slide down into the bath and close my eyes. I don't know what I wanna do anymore. I want to be left alone but I don't wanna be alone. I wash up then go back to relaxing. After awhile I get out I dry off and put lotion all over my body. I put on my undergarments and my leggings.
"Damn I forgot my sweater." I open the door and head to my dresser until I see Branden sitting on my bed. I stood just there and covered myself. I didn't wanna run back to the bathroom and I couldn't get my sweater because I would be exposed again even though my arms weren't doing much but they made me feel safe. Branden just sat on the bed laughing.
"What do you need?" He smirked.
"my sweater." I say softly. He walks over to my dresser and pulls out the sweater then slowly walks back over to me. He hands me the sweater but not before giving me a hard time about being shirtless.
"I've never seen this much of your skin before." He said examining my body.
"You're so beautiful."
"don't" I said shaking my head.
"Why? I can't say my gf is beautiful?"
"Give me my sweater."
"No, not until you talk to me!"
"Branden give me my shirt please!" I said raising my voice.
"No, why can't you be comfortable around me?!!!!!" He said also raising his voice.
I keep my eyes on the ground and tried to ignore him.
"Huh?! You said you wanted to talk so let's talk! Why can't you be comfotable around me???!!"
"Because I'm not even comfortable around myself!!!" I screamed. He just stood there. I was getting emotional and I just wanted to ball up in my bed.
He walked towards me and wrapped his arms around me. He pulled me in front of my mirror and stood behind me.
"Look at yourself!"
"I can't and I don't want to" I say wiping ever flowing tears.
He turned me around and grabbed my sides and stomach.
"Look at me!" He yelled
I slowly met my eyes with his. "I don't care about any of this, not ANY of it!"
He kissed me on my neck then my shoulder and down my arm. The closer his kisses got to my stomach the faster my heart started to race. All I could think about was what his hands were feeling and how he deserved somebody with a better body and it hurt me. I grabbed my sweater, snatched away and ran to the bathroom and locked the door. I quickly slipped on my sweater and stared at myself in the mirror.
"Come on Bree your hurting me open the door."
"i cant"....I whisper.
"Tell me why you hide everything?"
I slide down the wall onto the floor and took a deep breathe.
"When I was younger I was skinny, happy, people complimented me all the time but I didn't care because opinions didn't matter to me then. When my parents split up my dad cooked all the time and that's when I started to gain weight. You don't really know your different until somebody tells you and I thought I was just like everyone else. I don't even remember the first time I got called fat but I remember everybody treating me like I didn't deserve happiest and I was the lower life form because I was bigger than them. What the fuck does my body have to do with anything else? People called me fat bitch, beast , ugly, they made fun of my broad shoulders, everything and I've been battling it all these years and when I was with you you made me forget my insecurities. When Nic told me all that stuff it broke me because she was the last person I ever suspected to say those things to me and If she could change up and feel like that after getting to know me 1000%....anybody can. She made me remember every single hurtful thing I've ever heard all at once and then again." I stopped and I could hear his light breathing through the door and it calmed me down.
"But Branden..... I really need you to love me but I can't love you until I love myself but I want you to know I love you, I love you so much I've loved you since the first time I saw you and if this door wasn't right here I don't know what I would do right now because I wouldn't have the balls to say this to your face."
"Are you still there?" It was silent. I slowly opened the door and walked out.
"he left......" I headed towards my bed and Branden grabbed me from behind.
He placed his lips on my ear and whispered. "I would never leave when you needed me, I love you and need you" He turned me around, picked me up and carried me to the bed. I crawled in first and he followed. We laid and just stared at each other, he moved closer to me and my breathing hitched. He kissed my nose and slowly made his way to my lips then slowly down my body. "She" took over before I knew it I was pulling off his shirt and he was pulling down my leggings. It was so much adrenaling going through my body and I just wanted love, his love . He kissed my thighs and played with the rim of my underwear.
"You sure you want this?" He looked up at me.
"yeah.....I want you." I smiled. He came back up to kiss me.
"BREE!!!!" Brit screamed coming upstairs.
Shit!!
HEYYY Y'ALL!!! Bree's all vulnerable :( but I hope you guys enjoy this little chapter. I have finals tomorrow and I didn't study that much #prayforme!! But I trust myself. It's you made it from #447 to #330 inTeen Fiction and I was screaming because thats a big accomplishment so THANK YOU I LOVE Y'ALL AND IM HAPPY Y'ALL LOVE THIS!!! Almost to 50K reads #cheesing. Thank you for reading, commenting and voting!!!
