Love Bites (Rewrite)

Chapter 16: Awkward

As Bex examined herself in the mirror the next morning she couldn't help but feel different. Did it show on her face? Could everyone tell? Was she still the same Rebecca she had been a few days earlier? Did doing what she did make her an adult?

I mean technically they didn't do it, per se, being as they didn't get fully naked. But Bex felt like it counted regardless. She thought about the way Lyssa's lips felt on her skin, the way their two bodies thrashed together on the floor. The sounds Lyssa made. Her face got red all over again just thinking about it. Even though they weren't fully naked, as far as Bex was concerned, it definitely still counted. Which means she...

No.

She wasn't going to think about that. How could she think about how she and Lyssa did that? A line had been crossed, and she wasn't sure if she had been ready to cross it. It wasn't like it was planned or anything, but she had always thought her first time would be different. That it would come after being in a long and steady relationship with a partner who understood her fully. Someone she trusted and loved with her whole heart.

This was not that at all.

Did this mean she and Lyssa were like a thing now? Did she want it to mean that? She had no clue what Lyssa wanted. All night she had been hit with wave after wave of Lyssa's emotions. Fear, anger, resentment, confusion, sadness, desire... The list went on. How could she face Lyssa after all of that?

Everything just felt off to Bex. Not only was her head filled with Lyssa's emotions, but she was no longer as pure and innocent as she been before she met Lyssa. Bex had always been the naïve happy go lucky type. Never really interested in things like that. She always figured she would know when she was ready, that one day love would find her. Something found her alright, but she wasn't sure it was love.

She arrived at school 30 minutes before she usually did. She hadn't gotten a wink of sleep. Not with everything in her head. She tried her best not to think about anything, wanting nothing more than to be a very big blah. If she were a blah, then she wouldn't be able to describe how she felt, and if she couldn't describe how she felt she didn't have to address it just yet, and if she didn't have to address it just yet then it was almost as if it never happened. Which is what Bex wanted.

Her eyes were wide and blank as she stared off into nothingness, trying her hardest to be a blah. She wanted to clear her head to separate what was her emotions and what was Lyssa's. Of course, the task proved impossible.

"Hey," Darci sat down in front of her.

Bex just stared off into the void of space.

"Bex?" Darci eyed her in confusion.

Bex forced herself to meet Darci's gaze and smiled. The smile came off as creepy and strange. Darci made a face that showed she was uncomfortable.

"Wow look who's here early today," Mike slid into his seat.

"Hey," Bex said, but she sounded distant and off.

Mike gave Darci a look, Darci just shrugged.

"Hey, you're here early," Joan joined the table.

"She's acting like a freak," Mike whispered to Joan, but Bex still heard him.

Yet, she couldn't bring herself to care. She was already overwhelmed with all the emotions running through her head. The last thing she needed was to add to the list.

This was all Lyssa's fault, Bex had concluded. This bond, this new development. This was way more Lyssa than she ever wanted to know. It's one thing to get to know someone, but another entirely to actually be in their head and feel what they feel. She wanted out of the blood bond right then and there.