Sequel ❤️~Why am i never enough

part 56

i woke up on the floor realizing that everything was a dream azlynn never walked upstairs and no one knew that santea had hit me it was so cold i weakly got myself up and stood in front of the mirror poking my bruises and flinching with every touch i put my head down and closed the door then locked it and sat down on the ground crying and begging for the pain to go away i know i shouldn't have kissed dejuane but who gives this as a punishment i didn't deserve this no one does everything was sore and tired while i was still crying there was a demanding knock on the door and santea said "hurry the fuck up and come to bed" i got up and put bandages over the scratches and a little bit of concealer on the bruises then i opened the bathroom door and slowly walked to the bed i just sat on top of the covers until santea sat up and i flinched but he just moved the cover from under me and threw it on top of me

Santea: go to sleep
Y: the kids will be up soon
Santea: then they can come and lay in bed with us
Y: i don't want you to hurt them
Santea: i would never hurt them
Y: but you hurt me
Santea: because you deserve it
Y: so what are you going to do to them if you think they deserve it
Santea: i'll make them watch while i beat the shit out of you now go to sleep

i looked at santea terrified while he laid under the cover and fell asleep i felt tears going down my face i hurried up and wiped my face so the makeup doesn't come off and i laid down and fell asleep until i felt someone jumping on me i looked up and saw thomas so i turned my head and i saw all the other kids looking at me smiling i gave them a small grin since my face was hurting and i got up trying my best to make everything look normal and i picked up thomas and alan then chased the others downstairs making them laugh and smile once we were all downstairs i sat them down and made them breakfast then myself some and we sat at the table eating and making jokes while i fed thomas and alan soon santea came downstairs and looked at all of us

Santea: y/n upstairs now

i felt my eyes watering but i blinked it all away then i gave azlynn the spoon to feed thomas and alan then i walked upstairs going into the room when i walked through the door santea pushed me on the ground and i fell on my wrist trying to catch myself and i held it putting my head down crying

Y: what the fuck was that for i didn't do anything
Santea: i didn't tell you to get up yet and when you did why didn't you make me anything to eat
Y: you weren't awake dumbass
Santea: watch your fucking mouth y/n before i punch you in it
Y: can you just leave me alone i didn't do anything wrong
Santea: say one more thing and i'll fucking kill you

i just put my head back down and went back to crying he soon walked downstairs and i quickly got up and went downstairs too see him feeding thomas and alan

Y: please don't touch them

he didn't say anything he just got up and walked beside me squeezing the wrist i fell on then he walked away i quickly wiped my tears and went back to my seat at the table and waited until the kids finished eating then i washed their plates and put them up and we walked to the couch and they all laid on me watching tv while i just hugged them and gently cried in their hair

Blessing: mama y/n are you ok
Y: i'm fine baby
Julian: she's probably just tired blessing
Azlynn: how do you know julian
Julian: because y/n never lies to us
Y: guys hey hey hey i'll be fine you guys should never worry about it i'll always be strong for you guys even when i'm not strong myself i'm not saying i'm fine but i will be ok
Leilani: do you promise
Y: of course i promise i'll never lie to you guys
Ailani: we love you
Y: i love you guys too

i kept talking to them trying to let them know that everything is ok even though i thought it wasn't even when i felt like i was lying to their faces i was doing everything to keep their hope alive that we'll be fine it's summer break for them so they'll be with me for a month can i really keep them safe that long but even though i don't know if i can keep myself safe i will never let anyone hurt my babies even if it causes me my life

Dj: what are you thinking about mama
Y: huh oh nun baby i'm just thinking about some things nothing you have to worry about don't worry
Kj: if something is wrong you know you can tell us right
Y: y'all are some little smart ass babies
Julian: we learned from the best
Y: you did didn't you
Azlynn: we sure did we all did
Y: well if i tell y'all just a little something will y'all please go to sleep for me like thomas and alan
Ailani: we promise
Y: alright well mommy is just tired a little bit of mentally but mainly physically shes hurting but that's not something y'all need to worry about just worry about enjoying your summer and i'll make sure y'all have the best one ever we'll go to disney world movie theaters arcades family reunions all of that because like i said everything will be ok i promise nothing or nobody is ever going to hurt you guys
Leilani: do you promise
Y: i promise with all my heart

after the conversation i watched as one by one they fell asleep and i stayed up until i saw santea walk out of the house with his keys then i went to sleep also knowing that he wouldn't be here with us

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