Sequel ❤️~Why am i never enough

part 38

i woke up going into the kitchen and smiling at pictures on the fridge of everyone and one of me and dejuane i stared at that picture for what felt like hours just looking at his smile and beautiful features then i walked outside and sat on the lawn chair looking at the sunset like i did with dejuane i remembered the day after i got out of the hospital from having the twins we sat outside sitting on the lawn chairs talking about having another baby and i laughed at him telling him i was done having any more kids now look at me now with thomas it made me smile and a tear fell down my face as i blinked i wiped it as a hand touched my shoulder and i put my hand on theirs turning around seeing dejuane and i got up gently holding his face as he wiped another tear and as i leaned in about to kiss him he disappeared yea i was imagining him there crazy i never thought i would miss some one so much that i would imagine they were here with me i laughed a little then walked into the house sitting on the couch then mattia came downstairs and laid down turning on a movie so i laid on him and watched the movie with him while he intertwined our fingers and started messing with mine

Y: do you ever think about the good times and just wish you could go back in time not to start over but to just relive those moments one last time
Mattia: i would go back to change a few things there is so much shit i regret and wish i never did and there's things i wish i done differently there's also different people i wish i would've told how i felt before they fell for someone else
Y: for now on i don't want to let any moment slip away if i think something is what i want then i'm going for it i feel like i've let the thought of being looked differently at or judged stop me from doing what i really want to do and i don't want to do that anymore
Mattia: we really do think alike
Y: i'm glad we think alike and not act alike cause i've learned that never works out for me
Mattia: we only need one person that acts like you anyways
Y: i would love other people that act like me but they can't ever be me
Mattia: exactly because i can't love anyone the same as i love you
Y: exactly i'm just too great and i love you too mattia you're such a good best friend
Mattia: yea that's what best friends are for um y/n i'll be back ok
Y: um alright i guess

i got off of mattia so he could leave and he got up walking upstairs and going into his room i sat on the couch confused for a while then the others came downstairs talking to me and some how the conversation went to them talking about how girls couldn't take hints and when kairi said "girls friend zone guys not knowing that if we say we love them then sometimes we don't mean as just friends" when he said that it hit me like a truck and i got up jogging upstairs and walking into mattias room seeing him laying on his bed looking at the ceiling and singing "can i be him" by james arthur it made me smile not gonna lie then i sat on the bed next to him and nudged his hip as he sat up

Mattia: oh what's up
Y: i came to talk to you
Mattia: about
Y: what happened on the couch i didn't mean to make you feel bad
Mattia: how would you make me feel bad y/n
Y: well you kind of told me you liked me and i feel like i rejected you
Mattia: you didn't reject me y/n because i wasn't telling you i liked you
Y: oh i'm sorry i didn't know
Mattia: you could've asked before jumping to conclusions not everyone in the house sees you that way
Y: alright that's fine next time i'll ask jeez i just thought that you liked me and i came to tell you that i'd be willing to try something but my bad i shouldn't have jumped to conclusions and i completely understand why you would be mad at me for doing that because it might be embarrassing since i'm your best friend my fault i'm just gonna go back downstairs and if you decide to talk to me later then that's fine if not that's also fine but now i feel like i've embarrassed myself by even thinking you would want me in that type of way so i'm gonna just go before i die from embarrassment

i walked out the room with my face turning red and i went back downstairs sitting on the couch joining back in on where we left off on the conversation until mattia came down sitting next to kairi

Kairi: i'm just saying i think girls play with guys feelings more than guys play with girls feelings
Y: i think guys lead girls on to make them think they like them then when they get the courage to try and say something about it the guy gets all defensive and turns them down
Mattia: maybe the guy just didn't want the girl knowing they actually liked them so they lied to make it seem like they were wrong but they didn't know the girl liked them back but once they figured out she did they felt bad because the girl thinks he doesn't like her
Y: well even if the guy thought that he could've said something instead of letting the girl stand there telling him how embarrassed she was
Mattia: what if the guy was too scared to say something because he knew he dug himself a hole of embarrassment that he couldn't get out of already
Vallyk: are we still speaking in general

😴