Sequel ❤️~Why am i never enough

part 57

after a while i had woken up and brought the kids to their rooms then i went back to mine and got under the cover falling asleep once again until i woke up to loud thuds i didn't worry about the kids waking up because they're really heavy sleepers but as the sounds got closer to the door i heard santea yelling and when he came through the door he stumbled to me and grabbed me by my neck making it to where i could barely breathe and he started kissing me while i tried to push away but he wouldn't leave me alone after a while he was on his side of the bed sleeping and i was completely naked crying on top of the cover with my face buried in my knees i looked at him with so much hatred in my eyes he didn't deserve anything but hell i wanted to tell someone but i didn't want to seem weak i've built up so much strength to leave the others and even move states and now i'm in a situation like this i can't believe that a guy as sweet and kind as santea could turn so hateful and viscous out of no where and i couldn't leave he's told me many times that if i leave he'll kill everyone i know and he'll send me videos and pictures of each one so here i am in a situation that i was too dumb to see at first after a while of me being in my thoughts i got up and went into the shower just sitting down crying even more until i saw sun shining through the window in the bathroom so i turned off the water and put on some new clothes then i went into the kids room and saw thomas was the only one awake so i picked him up then sat on the ground with him

Y: hey baby
Thomas: mamas here
Y: yea mamas here and she's here to remind that she'll never let anyone hurt you ok i'll protect you no matter what just know mama is always gonna be right here for you i promise Jesus i wish i didn't get myself in a situation where i have to worry if y'all are going to be ok or not but when y'all are around me you'll always be safe i can promise you that

after talking to thomas for a while the others started waking up so i handed thomas to azlynn and alan to julian and we all walked to the kitchen and i made them food then i laid a plate down for santea and we all ate and talked then santea came down and kissed me and i pulled back a little but he pulled me forward again and then sat down grabbing my hand and messing with my fingers i wanted to cry but i held it in for the kids and i just smiled and kept talking to them until santea spoke up

Santea: how would y'all like another sibling
Y: no i'm not having anymore babies
Azlynn: yea i'm with mommy there's too many of us
Dj: yea i like my own space
Blessing: and thomas and alan is enough for us
Leilani: yup i have ailani
Ailani: and i have leilani
Kj: don't get us wrong we love babies but no more please no more
Julian: but hey nice idea i guess
Santea: if y'all don't mind i need to talk to y/n upstairs for a second
Azlynn: no she's talking to us
Y: it's ok azzy i'll be back

i went upstairs and santea walked behind me once we made it into the room he closed the door and stood in front of me and i was beyond scared

Santea: you're going to do whatever i say
Y: no santea i don't want anymore children and especially not with you
Santea: you don't have a choice
Y: yes i do and i said no

santea grabbed my neck to the point where i could barely breathe then he pulled me to him

Santea: you have no choice get that through your fucking head you're going to do whatever i say or i'll kill them i'll kill all of he kids right in front of you then i'll kill you stop playing like i won't do it i'm not going to keep reminding you about this if i can't have you no one can now act like you give a fuck about your life before i kill everyone you know and i'll start with dejuane now shut the fuck up and stop back talking me alright now i love you

i didn't want to say it back but even if i did i couldn't say anything he had my neck gripped so tightly

Santea: say it back bitch

he grabbed my neck tighter and he looked me straight into my eyes

Y: i- i love you too
Santea: that's what i thought

santea kissed me and i squinted my face trying to move away once he let go of me i went downstairs wiping my eyes and then i sat at the table with my head down just listening to the kids talk then i looked up to see if they were done eating

Leilani: mommy what's on your neck
Y: oh um mommy's jacket was too tight
Ailani: do you miss daddy
Y: yea i do ailani especially right now

i looked back down as i felt tears coming down my face and i just got up and grabbed their plates washing them and putting them away and getting the kids ready for the day once we were done i took them to a park and they played around until i got a call from santea saying "bring your ass home right now or you know what's gonna happen" so i told the kids we have to go and even though they were a little upset they said ok and we drove home once we got there i sat in the living room playing with them and talking to them until they fell asleep and i ended up going to sleep on the floor because i was too scared to go to sleep next to santea

💙🤍