Beyond Denver

Chapter 47

I finally pulled apart from him, his face and eyes irradiating when his eyes bore into mine. Denver breathes deeply through his chest as I let my muscles relax a bit. Denver, I'm completely dizzy. I want to tell him, but of course, I don't.

"I want you in my life, Cassidy."

I almost fall from the bench. "Are you serious?"

"Yes, I am serious." He smiles softly.

"Sorry, I...I can't have anything serious." I am forced to tell him.

"Why not?" his voice is natural, and I wonder how he can be so calm all the time.

"I'm starting school tomorrow. I don't know what life will bring me. I don't know if I'll stay here in Madison," my voice breaks. This is the truth. I don't know anything. I don't even know why I came here in the first place.

"I'm willing to wait, however decision you make. I take the risk."

"I don't want to do anything I might regret later."

"Like what?"

"I can't even explain. I am not ready for a serious relationship."

I don't know any more excuses I can give him. If Maroney was here instead of Denver asking me the same question, would I have said yes to him? Deep inside, I knew things with Maroney were like turning to a dead end, and that's why I hadn't given up on him to begin with. I look at Denver, and his expression is a disappointment, but I can't help the situation to get any better.

"I'm willing to wait for you. Until you figure things out with your life."

"Why me?"

"Because I know you are the one for me. I know it." And then, just like that, Denver kisses me again. I allow myself to be wrapped in his arms, his lips slowly travel down my neck, and I feel the electricity flowing throughout my body. Somehow, I feel like a frog coming out of the water. I don't know where I belong. As an amphibian, I don't know if I belong on earth or in the water. For me, my life always had been between Chelan, and someplace else I never belonged. In conclusion, I was the frog who left Chelan for good, never returning to his pond.

"Cassidy?" I hear his voice again. It might have been a dream.

"Yes?"

"Should I ask you formally the question you've been avoiding since we met?"

"What question?"

"Would you like to be my girlfriend?"

***

Back home, I think of ways of how I might have hurt Denver. He'd wanted to spend more time with me, but I told him I had things to do. He is kind, and he deserves happiness, but unfortunately, I don't think I am the girl he is looking for.

TJ opens the door, his backpack hanging over his shoulders. He is still limping with a boot wrapped over his left foot.

"Hi," I say curiously with a faded smile on my lips. I'm glad TJ is back home. He always returns on Sunday afternoon, but I don't blame him for the circumstances he is facing now. "Back early this weekend?" It is all I manage to ask.

"I'm trying to take it easy this weekend. School starts on Tuesday."

"Don't remind me," I say to him, not very excited about school starting. Any other girl in my place would be more than happy to start her first day at UW Madison. "How did you work, by the way, with this boot?"

"I had to do dishwasher work, resting from time to time. The money will suck as a dishwasher, and I'll miss my tips." He smiles weakly while heading to the couch to sit down next to me. He places a house key over the coffee table. I stare at him in confusion, recognizing the key chain.