Beyond Denver

Chapter 34

Six years ago

"What about a day in the zoo? Museum?" the mother asks me. "Have you talked to Jessa?"

"I wasn't planning on leaving the house today," I say. "And about Jason? Can he come, too?"

"No, honey." Tells my father. "I think that should be something just for you and your girlfriends. Why don't you invite Emily and Dalilah instead? Jason can play with the other two siblings who live across the street. Even his older cousin can find something fun for him to do."

Jessa comes over with Dalilah and Emily as they hop into the car. Things are better with my parents. My mother left the meditation group, and it is even looking for a new job.

"I have a plan for the zoo, dinner, and cinema by the end of the day." she would say, her voice in a fast speed that she can barely catch up with her own breathing.

"How are we going to fit everything in this schedule, Mildred?" I exchange glances with Jessa, Dalilah, and Emily, who gives me a puzzled look. The zoo is three hours away in Seattle, and my mother doesn't seem to budge.

"It will. I make sure that will fit."

"If it doesn't, we can go another day to the rest. There is a cinema here, too."

The drive is fun, with all of us singing in the car, eating lollipops, ice cream, candy, and even stopping at a state fair for some rides. The zoo didn't happen but mostly because we were told in the entrance that the penguin died, and this made my mother upset.

At some point, when I left the bathroom in the fair, I heard dad asking my mother if she was taking her meds every day. She nodded at him, and they looked like love birds holding each other's hands. Those days had been rare since my father ignored her and was never home to spend time with us.

But I loved seeing mom happy like that. Seeing her lying in bed for days usually made my heart race and my head spin.

"I think this is one of the best days I've ever had," Jessa tells me while grabbing a caramel-covered apple.

"Me, too," says Emily.

"Mine too," adds Dalilah.

After the day is over, it takes another three hours for dad to drive us back to Chelan. The three girls pass out in the car, and when we wake up, we are at Jessa's door. It is late.

"Mr. Bardot, can Cassidy come over for a sleepover?"

"I don't think it is a great idea, Jessa. Why don't you come instead?"

"Because both Dalilah and Emily will be at my house, too."

"Please," Emily and Dalilah beg, and my father thinks for a moment.

"I don't see a problem, babe." My mother finally convinces him. "They are just girls wanting to have a sleepover. We can have our own party alone," she suggests to him, and I exchange glances with the girls. Ugh. My mother suggesting a night of sex to my father.

We leave the car and enter Inside the small house, Jason playing his video game alone in the living room, "What are you doing?" I approach, sitting down next to him. The girls head to eat something in the kitchen. I don't know how they can be hungry after all the sweets we had. My mother paid for everyone.

"What do you think?" he doesn't look at me, and I sense he is not happy about something. "What did you do today?"

"Nothing. The Super Brothers went out with his parents, and Martin is going out with older boys his age. Other kids are busy too."

"Sorry, this was a program only for girls," I tell him, guilt hitting inside my chest for not bringing him along.

"Probably a girl's night out according to your ass of a father."

"Don't talk about my father like that." I feel the blood traveling up my cheeks and my veins, my heart racing at his words. He removes his shirt, and I am surprised to have barely noticed he'd build muscles since I saw him shirtless in the last couple of months. His voice is also thicker and more mannish.

"It is not a mystery he doesn't like me."

"You're telling shit about him around town."

"Telling what? Who said that?"

"That's what I heard, but I can't tell more."

He throws the remote control against the TV stand, and I am afraid it is broken. "I'm tired of people in this town. All I want is for us to be together as before. We are friends, aren't we? Why do you have to be with my sister and her cousins? Why can I be with you more often?"

"I don't know, Jason. I want it, too." I tell him as he approaches me. Adele comes from her bedroom, and I sense something is wrong with her. "She might be in her period."

"Don't be insensitive, Jason."

I follow her to the bathroom, where she grabs Kleenex to clean the tears in her eyes. "Is everything okay, Adele?" All I can do is offer my shower for her support.

"Hi, honey. Everything is fine. There are moments I'm sad, but those days don't last. Tomorrow is a new day."

"Is this about Jason? Did he say something hurtful?"

"I think is a mix of everything, honey. Being a single mother is not easy, no matter how much support I have from my mother and sisters. But I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. I thought I met someone nice, but it didn't work out. I liked him."

"Oh, Adele. I'm sorry. You don't deserve it." I pat her head, her soft hair curling on my fingers. Having someone hurting Adele also hurts me because she is important to me.

"Tell me about him," I ask her. Most of the time, she opens up with me more than she does with Jessa and Jason. The lamp in her room is the only source of light. Romeo and Juliet and Pride and Prejudice are sitting on her night desk. That sounds depressing enough.

"He was a nice man with me, but I think when we are older, things are way more complicated. He is a confused man. I think ..." she presses her lips together and removes her cuticles from her nails with the other fingers, "He is confused about someone else."

"Oh, what a jerk." I am angry out of suddenly.

"Not really, honey. Not really. This woman existed before me, so what is he supposed to do? To forget her? Besides, he has kids with her. Sometimes I feel he loves me, and sometimes I feel he still not over his ex."

"So is he married."

She thinks for a moment, "They were separated."

"But are they together now?"

"It is hard to tell to be honest. It appears as if they are trying to make things work between them."

"Maybe you should give yourself some time. I think he will come around." I don't know why I say that to her. I don't know a damn thing about relationships.

"You think so?"

"Yeah," I say.

"How was your day with my daughter and her cousins?"

"It was great. My parents took us to the fair instead of the zoo. We had a lot of fun."

"So did Mildred go, too?" she is surprised to know this information. "Wasn't she in bed and unable to get out do so anything?"

"My mother seems to be doing better now. I also hope she forgets about this stupid idea of moving to Seattle. Overall, she has a lot of energy now."

"I'm glad she is spending more time with you, honey. I also think she needs to see a doctor before she hits the same state again."

"I don't think she'll hit that state again. Mother misses my dad. They are happy now."  

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