𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐅𝐅𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄, 𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐭

⋆⋅ Iris crackfic ⋆⋅

just for funsies
TW: knifes, guns, death, kidnapping, car crashes, blood, ItsBree13 Caught_u_simping SavvyTheDavvy

Scene: After the events of "Ineffable" Iris is playing bedwars in her apartment.

It was a bright and sunny morning, leaving the group of streamers to frolic happily among themselves over their PC's, they were all chilling out, playing bedwars together, Molly, Ranboo, Iris, and Quackity had all teamed together. None were streaming, so they had no worries.

"Iris, yellow's bridging to your side" Molly commented.

"thanks" Iris smiled, even though Molly couldn't see.

After multiple games, they had spent all morning playing, making the bones in their fingers stiff.
"hey, you guys just wanna talk for a little bit?" Quackity asked.

"Sure! We've been playing for like 5 hours" Ranboo chuckled.

They all switched tabs over to discord, were they continued to have normal conversations.

"guys I'm so hungry, what should I order?" Iris asked, tapping the UberEATS icon on her home screen.

"subway"
"taco bell"
"chipotle"

The other friends all said at once,

"wow thanks for the help guys" Iris scoffed
playfully, deciding to just order some groceries from target, so she could make and prepare an actual meal for once.

"hey guys should I get some zucchini?" Iris teased, craving the crunchy vegetable.

"yes, please get some to share with me" Ranboo pleaded.

"m'kay" Iris answered, pulling out the y.

"ok I ordered it, should be here in 15" Iris set her phone down and looked back at the discord call, Molly brought up the topic of cherry jellybeans, and Ranboo went off about how much he enjoys eating them, so much in fact, it took up an entire 20 minutes before Iris felt a knock at her apartment door.

'I'll be right back guys my stuff's here" Iris stood up and muted herself before leaving her room to go answer the door.

As Iris opened the door, she was met with a Target employee, holding a bag of groceries.

"thank you so much" Iris said, handing some money to the employee and shutting the door. But when she turned around, she didn't hear the familiar click of the door closing.

"hello?" she turned around once more to see the target employee still standing in the doorway.

"may I help you?" Iris was getting nervous.

"hey, I'm Bree" The employee held out her hand.

"oh, hello Bree!" Iris shook her hand.

"you ordered zucchini!" Bree said welcomely.

"ah yes, I love zucchini!"

"really?

"um—yes" Iris responded, getting slightly worried.

Suddenly, john Cena had popped through her apartment wall and put his head through.

"ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?" he screamed.

"yes"

"I hate zucchini" Iris did a full 180, and saw Bree now holding a 20-inch knife. (that's a long knife)

"uhhhhhhhhh" Iris said dumbly.

"your gonna follow me before I pull a killza and plunge this into your stomach" Bree's eyes twinkled in the fluorescent light.

"ok shawty" Iris got up and followed Bree out of the apartment.

"so mama's what chu got cookin" Bree bit her bottom lip and rolled some dice as they walked down the hallway.

"nothin much how bout chu" Iris instantly transformed into the same tone.

"I dunno but whatever chu been doing I hate"

"that's not nice" Iris said, coming out of the acting. They were now on the bottom floor and the building and walking out. Bree led Iris to the back alleyway and pointed the blade at Iris's throat.

"sing the beginning verse of hamilton"

"uuhhhhhhhhh"

"SING" Bree said menacingly.

"how does a bastard orphan son of a who—" Iris was cut off by Bree literally slicing her head off.

"wrong tune' Bree said blankly.

The words "WASTED" showed up in Iris's empty mind. But to her dismay, she had right clicked her bed! So she respawned, but it may have malfunctioned because she found herself right back at the spot where she died.

"sing the first fundamental truth that angelica realized in satisfied" Bree now had an AK47 in her hand.

"um—im a girl in a world in which I marry rich" she was once again cut off by being shot in the face.

"wrong words" Bree said loading her gun. Iris respawned once more, but this was her last canon death. Bree wasn't holding a weapon anymore, she stood there laughing evilly.

'WHAT IS HAPPENING" Iris yelled.

"#CANCELIRIS" was all Bree said before a car was driving through the red bricks of the alleyway. Iris couldn't quite see the person behind the wheel and decided to make a run for it. she heard a distant,
"there's a new sheriff in town" She had heard that voice before, it was the infamous Abby, in the passengers side was savannah ( also known as @Caught_u_simping and SavvyTheDavvy  )

"oh my god" Iris kept her pace, running throughout the busy streets of her town. But Abby was quite fast, drifting on every corner.

After multiple hours of going in circles, Iris was flattened like a pancake, crushed by Abby, Sav's, and Bree's car

In the sky, a plane was flying over, a banner was attached to it, On the banner wrote,

🦀 IRIS IS GONE 🦀

Fin.

a/n: so how'd y'all like that 15k special?
gn my tires <3