Temptation [h.s.] ✔

Chapter 49.

My phone is buzzing incessantly with messages and calls from Dayton. The last message she left involved a lot of shouting about why the hell I haven't called her and surely I've peed on the damn stick by now and another why the hell haven't I called her?

I ignore her, feeling guilty but knowing it's the right thing to do. She's my best friend and I love her for buying the test, but we have to tell our parents first. I understand this much.

I stop stirring the pasta sauce. I think I'm coming to terms with it now. It's hard when there's no visible signs of a baby aside from a word on a little screen. Perhaps I won't truly come to terms with it until I see the baby on a real screen and I can believe and know one hundred percent that there's a tiny person in there.

Until that happens, though, I can't freak out. I can't put shit off because of my obsessive and addictive tendencies.

Harry's all but made it clear that he and I are it. Done. A forever deal.

Two months ago, that would have freaked me the fuck out. I would have been running for the hills, but now...

Now, I want it. With everything I have, I want it. Sixty-plus years to be addicted to Harry Styes? Hell yes. I can totally take that. As long as I can step forward right now and manage what needs to be managed.

I give the sauce a quick stir, ignoring the burning tomato at the bottom of the pan, and grab my phone. I dig March's card from beneath a couple of takeout menus on the fridge and dial his number.

I shove pasta around the pan with a wooden spoon while I wait for him to answer. When he doesn't, I leave a message asking him to call me to arrange that coffee.

I don't want to talk about it, but I'm not willing to hide behind my addiction anymore. For years, it's controlled me and held me captive. In an odd kind of way, I'm thankful for it. If it hadn't, I never would have met Harry. I never would have experienced what it's like to trust someone with your body and your mind and, eventually, your heart.

Because he has it all. I trust that man with every inch of me purely because I have no choice.

He all but stole it from me when my back was turned. One by one, mind and heart, body and soul, he stole them and he trapped them somewhere within himself.

In a way, I'm no longer a prisoner of my addiction—I'm a prisoner of Harry. But this time, there is a massive difference. This time, I want to be a prisoner. I want to be kept by him and I want him to tease my body and control my pleasure.

More than that, I want him to keep my heart somewhere I'll never find it.

I don't want it back.

It's his.

"The sauce is burning."

I snap out of my thoughts. "Shit!" I run to the stove and stir it frantically. I think I saved it...

Just...

"That was some deep thoughts running across your face, baby girl." He puts his bag down by the door, shuts it, and walks to me.

"Today must be my annual thinking day," I quip, turning the heat down on that damn sauce. 

"Have you hurt yourself yet?"

"Nope. I'd say I'm doing good." I grin over my shoulder at him. "There's beer in the fridge if you want it."

He hesitates. "Are you sure?"

"You're good with beer. Opening a bottle of wine will be the problem here."

"Okay." He kisses my bare shoulder and grabs a bottle from the fridge. The cap comes off with a click and a quiet fizz.