New Beginnings [Gerard Way x Female reader]

Chapter 7: Alcohol

I turned around with the stuff to change Gerard's bedding I wanted to help him but when I did I saw something that made my heart shatter standing there was a very guilty looking Gerard with a beer bottle in his hand he tried it to hide it but it was too late his face was red with embarrassment and I was trying to hold back tears I dropped the stuff and ran over to him "no...no Gee how- how could you?" I said not wanting to believe my eyes he looked down "I-I'm so sorry" he said still not looking me in the eye I put my arms around him and sobbed a little "stop doing this to yourself" I said I didn't want to be mad at him because I know it's not his fault that his brain works the way it does, I just wanted him to be okay. I took his hand and sat him on a chair in the room then I started to change his sheets glancing up at him every few seconds because I was so scared he'd do it again he knew that he'd lost a bit of my trust and I could tell it wasn't doing him any good. Once the clean bedsheets were on he went and got into his bed and I laid beside in "I forgot how nice clean sheets feel" he said stretching out in them "I know they do, don't they?" I agreed, then I kissed him and snuggled into his arms. "I'm so sorry, sugar, it's just...the drink was there and I was craving it and well you know..." he said sounding so ashamed of himself "please Gee don't put yourself down, I understand but please Gerard please try to stop I'll do everything in my power to make you feel better I promise Gee I promise" I said almost as an attempt to reassure myself. We both fell asleep in each others arms.

The next morning I woke up beside Gee I kissed his cheek and then I saw his eyes flicker open "mornin', sugar" "morning, Gee, how you feelin'?" "Headache" "oh Gerard" I said sympathetically giving him a cuddle "don't feel sorry for me it's my own damn fault...I hate myself" he groaned "don't put yourself down it'll only make it worse" I said sadly "you're too nice for your own good" he said whilst looking at me "Gee, you're so much more than you think, people like you, I love you so does your family and friends and I bet they're missing you as well" I said holding him in my arms.

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Later on that day I decided I'd try and clean up Gerard's room we'd been laying about in bed all day so I got changed but he wouldn't. I then went to clean up his room because it was a mess, I went to his side of the bed and squatted down beside it "Gee? Can I tidy your room?" "It's fine how it is" "no it's really not...please?" "Can if you want" he shrugged I started to pick dirty clothes off his floor and put them in a pile on a chair ready for the wash then I started to notice a lot of rubbish on the floor knocking about "Gee? Do you have any bin bags?" "In the kitchen under the sink" "okay I'll be right back" I said kissing his cheek and running upstairs to get some.

Gerard's pov:
I really didn't want to disappoint y/n again but I saw a few beer bottles on the floor just slightly under my bed and I decided to drink one but then one turned into three. I heard my sugar coming back down the stairs so I stashed the empty bottles underneath my bed in an attempt to hide them.

Back to y/n's pov:
I came back to Gee's room to see him sat up a bit more than when I left "feeling a bit better?" I asked him softly he didn't say a word but he nodded his head "I really hope you have more days like this Gee where you feel better" I said hopefully but he couldn't even look me in the eyes I kept thinking what if he'd had a drink but I doubt it, so I ignored my thoughts and placed a glass of water that I got him beside his bed "I got you some water, Gee" I told him and he drank it without saying a word. Then I started to pick all sorts of junk off the floor putting it into the bin bag it was then I saw a bunch of full beer bottles and I tried to chuck them away. Oops mistake. Gee was up on his feet the second he saw this "stop it y/n" he said calmly at first "no Gee you don't need these to be happy" I said dropping one into the bin "yes I do now give them to me!" he said slightly more aggressively backing me into the wall "you've been drinking, haven't you?" I said starting to become scared of him "so what if I have?" he slurred "now be a good girl and give me back my beer" but I shook my head "no no no no stop it Gerard stop" I said with my voice cracking mid sentence he snatched the bottle from me in anger and slammed it down on the side then he raised his fist at me I tried to shield myself and was shaking and I cried but he didn't do anything and reality soon hit him, he sobered up a little at the realisation of what he was about to do "no no no I'm sorry sugar I'm sorry no no no" he said with tears in his eyes backing away from me I ran out the room, back to my house crying all the way there.

Gerard's pov:
How could I? I almost hit my sugar. I'd scared her and now she was gone thanks to me and my stupid alcoholism I knew she wasn't coming back I lay in my bed that night crying because of what I'd done/ almost done. I couldn't imagine how she must be feeling. Poor Sugar all alone in her bed tonight crying all because of me. She must be scared she always rings me up when she's scared or comes over to tell me but not today because I was the one who scared her. I could just see her now probably shaking in her bed. I almost hit y/n and she's pregnant with my baby I'm almost as bad as those bully's at school who hit her. I decided to just drink myself to sleep tonight.

Y/n's pov:
I pounded on my parents door it was pretty late now my dad answered the door he didn't look very happy "what's wrong?" "It's my Gerard he almost hit me he raised his hands at me! He's sick he's unwell dad my Gerard he needs help" I said crying hysterically "he's a pathetic excuse for a man y/n you should've gone with Graham's son he's very rich you know?" "I know dad you tell me every week and I don't care about him I only care about Gerard" my dad was constantly trying to set me up with his rich friends sons but I hated them all. I was so shook from what just happened "please just let me in I can't go back there he's an alcoholic..." I immediately regretted saying that because I know what my father's like he'll put Gee down about it "honestly y/n I told you this would happen!" He yelled "you know what never mind fuck you! You're a terrible excuse for a father you're dead to me!" I shouted as I slammed the door and ran off I wasn't really sure where I was going but I'd had enough of my dad talking down on Gee. Now Gerard may have hurt me mentally and almost physically, but I still loved him and I wasn't gonna hear him being slandered for the a millionth time especially now knowing how bad that made him feel. "Alright but don't come back here crying for you're real family when that stupid twat leaves you or hurts you really bad!" My dad shouted through the closed door "cunt" I said under my breath as I ran into the dark street.

I knew it was dangerous to be out on these streets at night but then I remembered something. Frank I knew where he lived from when we dropped him off home after he helped me that time I was beaten up. I started to walk faster hoping that he'd be in after about a fifteen minute walk I arrived on his doorstep and knocked on the door and thankfully he opened it and he looked very surprised and confused to see me standing on his doorstep on a Saturday night shivering with fresh tears in my eyes "y/n?" He questioned "Frank I know I barely know you but you've gotta let me in
I-I've got no where to go and no one to talk to my parents have kicked me out and-" "shh calm down y/n is everything okay between you and Gerard?" I stared at the floor and thought for a moment I shouldn't keep telling people it's not fair on Gee but I was in desperate need of help so I decided to tell Frank "He's not well" I said as more tears ran from my eyes "not well? What do you mean by that?" "It's the alcohol Frank it's taking my Gerard away from me he- he...he almost hit me earlier" I sobbed, Frank let me in and lead me up to his bedroom.

He sat me on his bed beside him and put his arm around me in an attempt to confront me just like Gee normally does "come on deep breaths" Frank said trying to help calm me down "tell me in your own time what happened I've got all night" he said softly I took a few more breaths trying to calm down after about five minutes my crying calmed down a bit and I began to explain what happened "so I helped him yesterday and then today I wanted to make him more comfortable so he let me tidy his room but then he refused to let me throw out his beer and when I tried to he- he...he raised his hand at me I think he must've been drinking when I left the room to go get something" "oh y/n I'm so sorry that happened to you" he said rubbing my back comfortingly "and I ran off after that I asked me dad to let me in but he was just being horrible about Gerard and so I ran off and I told him he's dead to me and that's when I thought to come here" "look y/n I can see you've had a rough night I didn't know Gee had been that bad lately I'd heard he wasn't doing too good and that's why we hadn't had band practice in a while I'd been meaning to go and see him actually" Frank said guiltily "please y/n stay as long as you want I'll sleep on the couch" He had one in his room so I didn't mind "I can if you'd rather?" "No you need a rest" "fine" "in the morning I'll go with you to see Gee, okay?" Frank said "yeah that's sounds like a plan" I agreed and fell asleep in Franks bed. I felt guilty being in Franks bed even though he wasn't in there with me, it still felt wrong I should be in Gee's arms right now but I can't be so here I was slowly drifting off to sleep in a bed that smelt of Frank and not Gerard.