New Beginnings [Gerard Way x Female reader]

Chapter 30: realtionship complications

The next day Gerard came around as planned he looked so happy. I took him to Frank's room "do you want me to fuck you, Pretty, maybe have another child" he teased as he kissed my lips I carefully brushed him off

"I don't want that Gerard I need to talk to you"

"Sugar? What's happened" he suddenly said all worried

"Nothing's happened, Gee, I've just been thinking...We can't be together anymore"

"Is this a wind up?" He said but soon realised I was dead serious

"I know I've said this before but I can't be with you anymore it hurts me too much"

"O-okay..." he said his lip quivering "you weren't sleeping with Frank were you?" He said suspiciously

"No I wouldn't do that to either of you" I said putting hand on his

"Why, then? Why?" He said and I could almost see his heart break as he spoke

"It's bad for us both we're toxic for each other and it hurts to do this but I don't want to be with you anymore because of it, because we only hurt each other, because the bad outweighs the good, because I love you and I don't want to be hurting"

He was sobbing he was so sad I hated to see him cry I tried to cradle him to make it all better but I couldn't he didn't want me to touch him "selfish y/n so so selfish" he whispered through tears

"I don't want us to see each other again I'm sorry, Gee, I'm sorry"

"I'll never be good enough, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I failed you"

"It's not like that Gee it's not I just can't keep on like this it's not good for either of us"

Eventually I had Ray pick him up and Gerard was broken but so was I.

I cuddled Gee's jacket and cried so hard it was a hard decision but it needed to be done. Frank finally returned with food and we ate as I cried and told him everything.

"Look, y/n, it's for the best maybe in the future you'll both be better for each other"

"Yeah...perhaps"

I never wanted to see Gerard again because I just loved him too much.
That night I fell asleep on Frank and I felt so bad the next morning even though I didn't do anything with Frank I felt like I'd betrayed Gerard even though I knew we weren't together anymore and every time I remembered it I felt pain. I wished I never broke up with him he was the greatest thing I had and so what if it was toxic? I still needed him.

"Frank what do I do now? I've literally nothing and it's all my fault"

"You love him still don't you?"

"I love him so much and oh god I hate myself"

For the next few months I just laid in bed all day crying just upset and broken I didn't feel happiness. I suddenly realised I hadn't had a period in ages. I started to notice my belly was getting bigger despite me barely eating these days. I started to think back to the last time I had sex; it was with Gerard and that night he said he was gonna show me how much he loved me and just the memory of that made me cry, I remembered how he didn't use protection it was just when we'd got our relationship back on track, how he'd told me he'd never let me go again, how he wanted us to be happy forever. I realised I hadn't seen him in quite some months if Frank was gonna see him he wouldn't invite him around he'd go to him. I'd heard about Gee how he'd try to be with other women but he just couldn't go through with it. I was carrying Gerard's second child and I didn't know what to do. Who do I tell first? There is still time I might be able to get an abortion but I don't want one. But at the same time I don't want to end up on my own with a child I can't afford to keep. I waited for Frank to come home.