I woke up with a slight headache. I replayed last nights moments in my head like a movie, talking to Rocky about his girlfriend, meeting Devon's unknown sister, Camila drunk off her ass dancing on the pool table, bringing her home, her shouting at me, and us kissing. Then Camila ran into the bathroom puking her guts out in toilet while I held her hair back. She passed out on the bathroom floor so I had to pick her up and carry her up the stairs to her room.
I slapped my forehead, did I really make out with my sister? A swarm of butterflies fluttered in my stomach at the thought of how soft her lips were and the sparks I felt when our lips touched.
"Fucking idiot!" I shouted at myself. Why did I let that happen? And why the fuck did I enjoy it?! I should be disgusted at the thought of us kissing, but for some reason I'm not, shocked and confused yes, but not disgusted. But its wrong. Wrong on so many levels, what would people think? What would our parents think? My friends Devon, Normani and Rocky what would they think of me? They would be grossed out and never talk to me again.
Our parents would be so disappointed and send me away to fucking bootcamp or worse kick me out of the house so I have to live on the streets.
"Lauren!" I heard a voice cry out in agony.
Camila. I ran out of my room and into hers. She was on her bed crying as she held her head.
"What's wrong?" I asked out of breath from running.
She looked up with tears in her eyes, "My head hurts and so does my stomach."
I sighed knowing exactly what's wrong. "You have a hangover."
"A hangover?"
I nodded, "Yeah you were really drunk last night."
"Oh god," she mumbled wiping her eyes. "We're gonna miss school."
"We'll just tell our parents that you got sick so I stayed home and took care of you," I shrugged. It wouldn't be the first time I played hooky.
Camila looked skeptical but complied, "Fine, but my head hurts so bad." She said her voice getting hoarse and shaky, a sign that she was about to cry again.
"Don't cry just hold on," I told her and went over to our bathroom that is connected to our bedrooms. I came back out with two pain relievers. I reached over and grabbed the bottle of water that was sitting on her nightstand.
"Here take these," I placed the pills in her hand and handed her the water. I watched as she threw the pills into her mouth and pressed the water to mouth. She swallowed and swiped her tongue across her lips. A huge part of me wanted to lean in and kiss her again. But I couldn't. She's my sister for fuck sake.
I shook my head at my shameful thoughts, "I'll be in my room."
When I got in my room, I collapsed on my bed. I had the urge to cry, I was just so confused and frustrated as to why she would kiss me in the first place and why I enjoyed it so much. And now she doesn't even remember. Why would I want her to though? That's what confused me the most.
The more I think about the kiss, the more I want to do it again, that fucking thought won't get out of my head no matter how hard I try to force it out. What did this mean? Did it mean I have a crushon my sister? Or that I'm just attracted to her? Because over this past week I've been noticing how beautiful she has become since I've known her, not that she was ugly before its just that before she was adorable, but now she looks gorgeous, beautiful, and more like a woman.
Why am I feeling this way? Sure I think she's beautiful, smart, caring, cute, gentle, goofy. She's just amazing. But I never paid attention to her til now though. As terrible as it sounds, I just never paid attention she was just someone in my house who I saw whenever I was home.
