Sarah Paulson Characters

I Told You, You Need Me

The day had been the worst of days. Diane and I had been fighting since the moment I woke up. I was so focused on being angry I left for work without taking a multitude of items I had needed for my day and had to turn back to get them. Making me officially late for work.
I got yelled at by my boss for it of course, causing a slight anxiety attack but I pushed it down and went to my office. Forcing myself to breathe normally.
Dear god was that a big mistake.

Everytime I felt slightly off I would push it aside and focus back on working. I had a lot to do, and I wasn't about to let anything stop me.

After ignoring the pit in my stomach and my racing pulse for hours on end I got off work for the day and told myself everything would be fine as soon as I got home.

All it took was a moment for all the anxiety and negative feelings I'd pushed down all day to join together and revolt against me in a full blown panic attack.
The slight shake to my hands intensified and spread through my body, my breathing quickened against my control and so did my heartbeat.
A feeling of dread weighed me down like a bowling ball and I suddenly felt the need to hide.

I pulled into the driveway of my home and bolted inside, locking the door before shutting myself in the closet and wrapping my arms around my knees, rocking and crying silently.
Diane wasn't home which meant she was probably working. I didn't want to bother her, especially not after we'd been fighting about my 'pulling away' really all I wanted was space to be independent, but everytime I got it something like *this* happened.
I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to focus on calming down but I couldn't breathe at all at this point.

I sobbed for what felt like hours, shut away in a little closet, hugging myself.
The panicky feeling intensified further and I couldn't take it anymore. I pulled out my phone and pressed speed dial. Calling Diane immediately.

Ringing...

Ringing..

"This is Diane, sorry I missed your call. You know what to do.... *BEEP*"

"Diane.." I sobbed out "please answer the phone, I think I forgot to take my medicine this morning and i'm-"

I cut myself of with a choked cry as I accidentally cut my arm on an exposed nail in the wall.

"Fuck" I whimpered as the panic attack only got worse. "I'm sorry I'm calling I know your busy, I'm trying to calm down I just can't"

I left my message and called again three times, getting her answering machine every time.

I left one last message in my hysterical state. Sobbing and whimpering on the phone.

"Please Diane, I need you"

I tried to call again, only to get the machine again and I threw my phone across the room before curling up in a ball and sobbing some more.

I heard my phone begin to buzz, indicating that I was getting a call. Probably from Diane, but I was too in my head to answer. She probably hated me for bugging her so much. She was going to yell at me or worse. Leave me.

As I listened to the buzzing stop, only to start again I cried harder, not realizing how much my arm was bleeding. If I had been calmer I would have seen that I had bled all over myself and the wall. It looked like a murder scene.

I curled into a ball and just rocked myself back and forth, whimpering softly. I no longer had the energy to cry or speak, or move. My phone finally stopped buzzing after the 5th call. I didn't have anything to focus on anymore so i just sat there, in my catatonic state.

I don't know how long i had been there when I heard the front door open and shut, followed by quick footsteps and Diane's soft voice calling my name.

"Y/n?" She sounded just as panicked as I felt. "Y/n where are you?"

I didn't have the energy to call out or go find her so I just sat there waiting for her to find me. It wouldn't be hard, seeing as I only go two places when I have a panic attack.

Eventually the closet door opened and I felt two strong slim arms wrapping around me and pulling me out of the closet and into Diane's lap.

"I'm sorry" I started sobbing again "I'm so sorry"

"Shhhhh" Diane kissed the top of my head and held me to her chest. "it's okay sweetheart, I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner."

I buried my face in Diane's neck and let out all the repressed emotions from my stressful day, sobbing hysterically into her oversized sweater.

"Oh, oh baby" Diane played with my hair and started rocking me gently as my breathing slowed and my heartbeat returned to normal. My receding panic returned shortly as Diane stopped suddenly and gasped. "Sweetheart you're bleeding"

As soon as she mentioned it the cut on my arm started throbbing in pain and I sat up with wide teary eyes.

"I-I'm sorry I cut it on a loose nail and I totally forgot about it" I moved the sleeve of my shirt exposing the deep gash and Diane pulled my arm closer to her a shocked, concerned expression taking over her features.

"We need to go to the hospital, this could need stitches" Diane grabbed a towel and held it to my arm, applying pressure as I whined. "I know baby, but you can't *always* avoid doctors. Not when you go around get hurt like this"

A gently smile briefly appeared on her face and Immediately a sense of easiness washed over me.
I nodded my head and bit my lip and Diane helped me out to the car.

...

I needed six stitches for the cut and I nearly died as they prepped the needle for it. If it weren't for Diane holding my hand the whole time I definitely would have passed out. Overall the trip was quick and before I knew it, I was on the couch with my head in Diane's lap.
She played with my hair as she watched an episode of whatever was on TV and I sighed happily as sleep slowly took over my body.

The last thing I heard as I fell into a deep slumber was Diane's voice whispering triumphantly

"See y/n? I told you, you need me."

KDBSKDBDNRR YALL I LOVE DIANE SO MUCH

This is based off a dream I had the last time I slept. (Idk when that is ahaha)

Anywhozies I'm running low on ideas so maybe if y'all want to you could leave me some suggestions? 👉👈

Love y'all 🧡🧡

Lou✨🧡