Trust Issues

Chapter 7

TW: MENTION OF SH

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It was the day after the shooting, Meredith was still curled up in fetal position. Dai didn't quite understand what was going on, but after some explaining she realized that she was never going to see aunt Cristina again, so was curled up against Meredith's chest too.

Back at the hospital, Alex was released. Izzie and Alex decided they had enough of Seattle Grace Mercy Death so they both took a job at Hopkins. Leaving only George. He still had Meredith's old house so he decided to call her and see if maybe she wanted to move back in. He called but no one answered.

1 week later...

Meredith and Dai only left the hotel for essential things. They got food ordered and groceries delivered. They both were still deep in the grieving process. Meredith spent most the day watching tv with Dai curled up her in lap, they have been inseparable ever since they both saw their best friend die. After the first couple hours f the shooting, it became clear that Meredith needed to get rid of her phone. She put it in the safe that was located in the room so she couldn't hear anyone texting or calling.

The hospital was quite, George and Bailey were the most worried about Meredith, along with Derek but they decided he should not do anything to try to get her out. They needed to come up with a plan to get her out of her hotel room. They decided they would give her another week and if she didn't come out of her hotel room, Bailey would go over there.

1 week later

Meredith and Dai were getting worse and worse. They stopped caring at all, Dai ate but Meredith stopped eating, she just made food for her child. The two have become bonded at the hip. They relied on each other for support. They spent Dai's 2nd birthday in their hotel room, with an ice cream cake.

Bailey had decided it gone on for to long, so she went to the hotel and knocked on Mer's door.

"Meredith open up!" Bailey yelled

"No, go away." Meredith replied, she wanted to be left alone

"I am not leaving so you might as well just let me in."

Meredith opened up the door with Dai on her hip, asleep with her head in the crook of her mom's neck.

"Please be quite, I just got her to sleep." Meredith said as she opened the door more for Bailey to come in. Bailey looked at her, her eyes were bloodshot red, she had huge bags under her eyes from lack of sleep, and she looked like she had lost at east 20 pounds!

"Meredith! You need to take care of yourself!" Bailey said as she walked in and sat on the chair in the conor if the room

"Why should I? I take good care of Dai, I am fine." Meredith said sitting on the bed and cradling Dai in her arms.

"I know but Mer, I looks like you have lost so much weight and that is not healthy, esspecally for you!"

"I know, but I just dont see the point anymore."

"What would Cristina do if she saw you like this."

"Kick my butt into tomorrow."

"Well, get. Up!" Bailey said standing up

"Shhhhhhhh. I just got Dai to sleep! Please, I will after she wakes up, she hasn't been sleeping well."

"Mer, I think you need to see someone." Bailey said as she sat back down.

"No, I don't." Meredith said quickly definding herself

"Roll up your sleeves." Bailey said

"No."

"Don't make me come over there and do it."

"Fine." Meredith rolled up her sleeves and reveled at leats ten surface cuts, not deep though.

"Oh mer..."

"I just needed to feel something." When she said this, Dai stirred in her arms. Meredith quickly pulled down her sleeves and turned to the awakening child.

"mama, i miss auntie." Dai said with tears in her eyes

"Mer, you two need to see someone. A professional, please."

"Fine, but don't tell anyone at work!" Meredith said, "Now, I am sorry. But please leave, I am going to go shower."

"Ok, goodbye Meredith."

//

The next day, Meredith and Dai drove to a small building. They had an appoint with Dr Turner. Apparently, she was the best out there.
they walked into the building and saw a nice cozy waiting room with several chairs and magazine spread throughout. Meredith walked up to the check-in desk and signed in. Then she took her daughter and went and sat down in one of the chairs and waited until it was her turn.

"Meredith Grey" The person from the front desk called

Meredith got up and over to her, then she followed the lady back to a small office and walked in. In there she saw someone who she assumed to be Dr Turner. She sat down on the couch and sat Dai on her lap. This was going to be a long, long session she thought.

//

It had been 2 weeks since Meredith and Dai have been going to therapy, 2 sessions a week. She finally was stable enough to go into work so she went it to the hospital. she didn't want to because she didn't wanna have to leave her daughter at the daycare but Bailey wouldn't let her carry her around all day.

"Dr Grey, glad to see you back." Derek said

""Dr Shepherd, thank you." Meredith said back

"Can I talk to you privately somewhere?" Derek said

"I guess, where do you want to go." The only reason she agreed was because Dr Turner said she needed to get better at not avoiding things. They walked into the on call room and sat down on the bed.

"So what did you want to talk about?" Meredith asked

"I want to know if Dailiah is my daughter." Derek said wanting to get straight to the point.

"I...can... I can't... please...not ready yet." Meredith said trying to clam down her breathing, but she couldn't. She got up and ran out of the room and to the daycare and got Dai. Then she got in her car and had a decision to make. She could ether go home or go to Dr turners office. She decided it would be best to go to Dr Turners office and try to clam down.

She walked into the office and went to the front desk, and immediately said that she needed to see Dr Turner now. Luckily she didn't wasn't seeing someone now. She walked into the room  with Dai and didn't come out for a good 3 hours.

When she finally came out, she felt much better, but she still didn't feel ready to answer the 'who is the father' question.

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