Trust Issues

Chapter 25

TW// (emetophobia people be careful)

Meredith was 30 weeks today. Meredith was itching to set up the nursery because she was constantly worried about the baby coming earlier than expected.

"We need to do the nursery today." Meredith said getting up out of bed. She rubbed her back and tried to rub the sore muscles that had kept her up all night and day for the past couple weeks.

"No, I will do the nursery, you need to sit down. Here, let me rub." Derek said. He gently helped her sit back on the bed and then rubbed the knot in her back.

"I can do it, I just..." Meredith said 

Derek interrupted her, "No, I will go set up the comfy chair and them when I am done, I will come back in here and get you so you can sit in there while I set it up. Here drink some water."

"Fine." Meredith answered as she took the bottle of water and drank some and then set it back down again, "I can't water bad, sleep good."

"Try to sleep Mer, when is the last time you slept?" Derek asked still rubbing her back

"Maybe a week. I need to sleep, I have work in the morning." Meredith responded as she closed her eyes

"Uh I thought we talked about his before, you need to lay off work. Your back is so sore you can barely walk, you should not be working."

"Mmm we'll see what Connie says today." Meredith said. They had to schedule another OB appointment because Connie was slightly worried that the baby was so small.

"Mer..."

"Derek, please. Can you just go set up the rocking chair please, come get me when you are done." Meredith snapped

"Oh my... I snapped, I am so sorry." Meredith immediately rambled, "I hate this, I hate everything, I want it out." 

"It's ok, I will go set up the chair." Derek said rubbing her shoulder. He was slightly upset that she had called the baby a "it" but wasn't going to get upset and rick making it worse.

When Meredith heard Derek finally leave the room, she broke down into tears. She felt like a beached whale, she wanted this baby to be out. Derek heard soft cries down the hall when he walked away.

"Meredith, what's wrong?" Derek said walking back into the room

"I feel like a beached whale... I am so fat!" Meredith said and after she finished saying it she let out a gut wrenching sob.

"Oh Mer... you are not fat you are pregnant with our baby, our perfect and wonderful baby. You are a beautiful and wonderful mom." Derek said running back to her and rubbing her back again.

"Der... I can't do it anymore."

"Yes you can Mer, do you remember that feeling when you held Dai for the first time, you get to feel that feeling again soon."

"Oh that was great." Meredith said, her breath was slowly evening out.

"Drink." Derek said handing her the bottle water again

"I think I need to throw up." Meredith said. derek rushed to go get a trash can put it in front of her and held her hair back while she puked her breakfast out.

"It will be over soon." Derek said trying to reassure himself and Meredith also.

Meredith looked up at Derek with glazed eyes and tear stained cheeks. "Can you set up the chair so we can set up the nursery?"

"Yes, I will be back in fifteen. Try to get some sleep, call me if you need anything." Derek said getting up and quickly leaving the room.

Derek came back shortly after and saw Meredith laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. He wanted to move her but she looked comfortable for once, even though she wasn't sleeping.