tw: self-harm, eating disorder (not very detailed...it's more hinted at than anything, but I thought I should include here just incase)
The blanket was hot over his body, but he didn't dare move in fear of the sun glaring at his skin. He was in absolutely no mood to be seen by anyone or anything. Except his husband. But Jacob was at work and wouldn't be home for another four hours.
Troye doesn't know how much longer he can last though. His stomach and head hurts from anxiety, and his throat was sore from crying as well as throwing up.
Reaching his hand out from under the blanket, he feels around for his phone. Finding on the nightstand, he pulls it under the covers and unlocks it, immediately going to his and his husband's texts.
Hi
Waiting for a response, he lets out a breath as he sees the three dots appear as Jacob types.
Hi sweetheart
When are you coming home?
I'll be out in a few hours. Is everything okay?
No...I need you...
Jacob doesn't respond for a while, leaving Troye alone once again. He sighs and sets his phone on his stomach. He shuts his eyes in pain as his head continues to pound.
Regretfully, he rolls out of bed, the blanket draping over his shoulders as he walks to the bathroom connected to the bedroom.
Looking at himself in the mirror, he sighs again. He doesn't know what brought this on. He's been doing good for so long. It started last night which wasn't abnormal. Every once in a while he'd get a bad feeling but usually it'd be gone after a couple hours. Now it's been more than twelve hours, and he was feeling worse than before. Not wanting to tell Jacob in fear of disappointment, he kept quiet about it for most of the day. But now he was starting to fear himself. He knew what his mind and hands were capable of and he didn't want it to happen again. And even more, he didn't want to put his husband through it again.
Panicky tears roll down his cheeks snapping him out of his thoughts. He quickly wipes them away before turning the water on. Leaning down, he splashes water on his face before dabbing it dry with a towel.
He leans forward on his shaking hands and shuts his eyes. Taking a moment to breathe, he prays for Jacob to either text him back or hurry home.
Blindly reaching for the water cup on the corner of the sink, he bumps Jacob's shaving razors into the sink. Opening his eyes, he sighs at his mistake and picks up the black razor. He stares at it for a minute before letting out a heavy sigh and setting it back on the counter.
Dropping the blanket on the floor, he picks up his toothbrush and quickly brushes his teeth. Spitting into the sink, he rinses his mouth out with water and spits again. Looking up at himself, he cups his cheeks. They were thin. He doesn't know when they began to get thin again. For six months, Troye was healing. And Jacob couldn't have been more proud of him.
But he had to ruin it.
Tears fill his eyes as he stares down at his shirt clad stomach. He didn't want to look at himself. And Jacob probably didn't either.
That thought makes him break down. Water pours down his face in buckets.
His knees buckle forcing his body down to the floor. His back rests again the wall, his legs out straight in front of him. He hears his phone ringing in the bedroom, but it sounds very muffled in his ears as if he was underwater.
He doesn't know how long it was before he hears his name being called. Again, the voice is muffled, leaving him to wonder if it was even real or if it was just his imagination.
He jumps and lets out a petrified shriek as he feels a hand on his back, despite how gentle the touch was.
"Troye. Baby, can you open your eyes? You're okay, honey. You're safe. Open your eyes, please, sweetheart."
It takes the boy a few moments before his mind clears and he's back in his own head. Snapping his eyes open, he sees his husband watching him with worry in his eyes.
The elder hugs him carefully before standing up and soaking a washcloth with water. He sits down next to his husband and grabs the boy's hand. Pressing the towel onto his wrist, he holds it in place for a few seconds. Troye looks at his opposite hand and sees blood on his fingers and under his nails.
Josh lifts the towel to fold it in half, allowing Troye to catch a glimpse of his scratched skin."I'm sorry," Troye whispers.
Jacob looks up without a word and kisses his forehead.
~
Wrapping his arms around the boy, Troye falls contently into Jacob's embrace, practically landing on top of the older boy.
"I'm so sorry, Jacob," Troye whispers into his husband's shoulder.
"It's okay. It's not your fault. You're safe."
Troye sniffles, the comforting scent of Josh's cologne filling his nose. He feels Josh rub his back making him nuzzle contently against the man's torso.
"I love you, sweet boy," Jacob murmurs softly before pressing and gentle kiss to the brunette's temple.
"I love you, Jacob. So so much."
"Try to get some sleep, okay? I can tell you're exhausted."
Troye lets out a sigh as Jacob pulls a blanket over top of them, allowing him even more security as he falls asleep.
