Chapter 34

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Chapter 34

Hearing the comforting roar of the Impala's engine, Farrah looked toward the door with tears in her eyes. They wouldn't know it was her, but at least she could see them.

"Olivia?" Sam called as he knocked on the door. Farrah looked up. Good thing she could act, because now she needed to be oblivious to the supernatural and only nine years old.

"Sammy!" She threw the door open. "Which one of you is Sam?" While she asked, she tried not to let her eyes linger on any of them too long. They'd know something was up.

"That's me," he said, and brushed his hair back as he crouched down in front of her. She threw her arms around his neck and squeezed with the strength of a little girl. He lifted her in his arms and she clung to him. Oh! It felt so nice to be around them! She could hardly contain herself!

"You're Dean, aren't you?" she said to Cas. He shook his head. "No? Then who are you?"

"My name is Castiel."

She giggled. At least that much she could do. He sounded very sad, but they all seemed a little better around her. Maybe because she needed their help. "That's a funny name." Then she looked at Dean. "Are you Dean?"

"I'm the only one left."

She pulled her head into Sam's neck to hide her face. "He's mean. Can we go inside?"

Sam chuckled and nodded. "Sure. Where's your mom, Olivia?"

"Call me Livy, it's what my friends call me." She smiled and squirmed, so Sam put her down. As soon as her feet were on the ground, she scampered off to her room. "She went out to get us dinner. I didn't tell her you were coming though, so shh!"

Farrah smiled. The house she'd brought them to belonged to a single mother and daughter (who were on a week-long vacation, courtesy of yours truly), and Margret wasn't in danger. She just needed an excuse to see them again.

"Why'd you call me?" he asked.

Plunking down beside a pile of toys, Farrah said, "Momma said she was in trouble and to call you, then told me she loved me and left to get us dinner. She doesn't like cooking."

"She gets take out every night?" Dean scoffed.

"Yep! Tonight is Chinese night!" She looked up and grinned at them.

Sam sat cross-legged beside her and she shoved some legos in his hands. As she laughed and they started to build a tower together, he asked, "Liv, where's your dad?"

"I dunno. Momma doesn't like to talk about him." Then she looked up at Dean. "Come play with us, Dad! Oops, sorry." She giggled. "The pictures I saw of my daddy look kinda like you, Dean."

Sam raised an eyebrow at Dean, who raised his hands in innocence. "I never even met Margret."

"Come on! I wanna build the biggest tower ever! Cassie, you can come play too!"

"You don't look nine to me, Olivia-" Dean started as he sat down and grabbed a lego.

"Livy! Either Liv or Livy!" she insisted.

"Liv. You don't seem to be acting nine."

"Momma says I like playing like a kin'garden'r, but act like a big girl."

He nodded. "So when's your mom gonna be back?"

She shrugged. "The Chinese place is a long ways away, and she left right as you showed up. No! Those pieces go on the top!" She nabbed the piece with a curve from Sam and added her own flat one.

Farrah let the feeling of familiar love wash over her. This is what she would've done as a child had her father and uncle been involved. Just sat here and played, hugged her dad. Although it was a bit suspicious and would more than likely cause them to at least wonder if Olivia was real, she scooted onto Dean's lap. And even though she could see how shocked all three of them were, they didn't say anything.

She could just live right there, and she nearly melted when one of Dean's hands rested on her waist. If only she could turn back time and have this moment as an actual childhood memory.

"Livy," said Cas uncomfortably, not used to using nicknames, "do you know a woman named Farrah?"

She tensed. Oh, no. Cas knew her too well. "No. Maybe my mom does. You could ask her when she comes back."

"I do not think any mother would leave such a young child at home by themselves for such a long period of time." She stood up and walked over to the box of legos. "And you seem very comfortable around us for us to be strangers."

Sam gaped, and felt like he could barely breathe. "Farrah?"

She had a decision to make. Farrah turned back around to face them. Dean wasn't looking at her, but Sam was staring hopefully. "I didn't want to hurt you, but I had to see you," she said as she shifted back into herself. Tears brimmed on her eyes, making it hard to see. "I'm sorry. I-I thought I could just slip out and disappear before you guessed. I underestimated how well you knew me." Sadly she smiled at Cas.

Sam jumped to his feet and threw his arms around her, lifting her off the ground. When she felt warm tears wetting her shirt, she grabbed him tighter. His hand cupped the back of her head. For almost two minutes they just stood there embracing. "We felt like you were dead again."

She smiled. "I tried to help. You knew I wasn't hurt." Looking at Cas, she walked over to him and stopped a few feet away. He had been staring at her, but now he dropped his gaze. "I'm sorry, Castiel. You didn't do anything wrong. It's just...I needed to know if Crowley was telling the truth, and I needed to deal with the truth by myself. I had to distance myself just in case I did...break. I didn't want to hurt you."

"You do not need to explain yourself to me, Farrah. I have many times left people to keep them safe and have done nothing but hurt them." He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "You do whatever you need, and I will be here when you come back."

"Thank you, Castiel." She smiled and wiped a tear from her cheek. As she turned to Dean, her heartbeat quickened. "Dean, I swear I never wanted to do that. But if Crowley was right, if I was more demon than anything else, then I was bound to snap. I was bound to start killing and who knows if I would be able to stop, and all of my humanity might just wash away. I couldn't bring you guys into that. Please, Dean. I figured it out and I just needed to see you. If you want me to go, then I promise I'll leave and I won't come back. After what I've done to you, I wouldn't expect anything less."

Finally he raised his eyes, and she saw an unexpected trail of tears on his face. She fell to her knees in front of him. Had she hurt him this badly? That even seeing her was painful? "Okay," she rasped, her voice thick with tears. "I'll leave."

Exchanging glances, Sam and Cas barely held themselves back from yelling at her to stay.

"No." Dean stared her down with his signature stern look. "No. So help me god, Farrah, you are never leaving my sight again. I will handcuff you to myself if that's what it takes."

She nodded, tears pouring down her face. "Okay. Okay." She smiled. "I promise."

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