Dark Circles

X. WHITE PAINT

Chapter ten

> TW <

- Mention of sexual assault

✦

I DON'T remember how it happened. It happened rather quickly and I really didn't mind either.

We got assigned to do a project together. Originally we worked in the library, then the next day in his dorm. And now the 3rd day in mine. For some reason, I'm not sure how he managed to do this, but his presence didn't piss me off. He made me actually slightly happier.

He called me pretty and said if we were allowed he'd want to take me out to dinner some time.

But since we couldn't leave campus, there really wasn't anything romantic to do. So instead he asked if he could kiss me, and at first, I said no. Just because I didn't hate him didn't mean I wanted him in my bed either.

But after very little consideration, I decided it wouldn't hurt. The worst thing comes to worst we finish the project and never talk again. Not the end of the world. So I shrugged my shoulders, agreed, and leaned in placing a small kiss against his lips.

He leaned in too, making the kiss a lot rougher. He didn't stop after that, and nor did I.

And as most hookups occur, it got to the point we were both topless making out on my bed.

Taechan's hand gripped my inner thigh and softly rubbed the space on my lace underwear that covered my area. As he leaned down on top of me, I pushed my hips upwards, applying more pressure to where he touched. I wasn't a virgin. And I wasn't one to fuck every guy, girl, and enby that walked either. But it was one of those moments that's just like, why not. 

And unlike other times, he asked me before doing anything.

So that was reason enough.

But just as the button on his uniform pants came undone and my hand slipped inside his boxers, the door shoved open, and in walked Zavier.

Who just stood there, clueless for a second. I would've been embarrassed, but instead, I was rather annoyed. I was finally enjoying myself and guess who fucks it up.

"Sh-shit sorry," Taechan stammered, getting up quickly and sliding his shirt back on.

Rolling my eyes, I sighed and flopped back down against the bed. Rolling over and closing my eyes, preparing myself for a nap.

"Get the fuck out," Zavier snapped, and I didn't need to see his face to know he was fuming.

"Uhm, yeah. Sorry again," Taechan murmured. "Talk later, Zavier, heh. See you tomorrow, Kaiyo?"

"Only if we get to finish this tomorrow too," I replied smirking, my eyes drifting from his abs to his eyes.

Taechan bit his lower lip, making eye contact. But it only lasted a second before Zavier grabbed his arm and pushed him out the door.

The second I heard the door close, Zavier was screaming already.

Pulling on my hair, I flinched from the pain. "Are you fucking stupid? Can you not do anything right?"

"Piss off," I snapped, my hand shooting up to my hair as I tried to break his grip away. 

"Put on a shirt before I hurt you," He whispered, his voice hoarse. 

I didn't move a single inch, instead just rolling over on my stomach. "Don't act as you've never seen a female's body before."

"I don't want to see your-."

"Then don't look, maybe?" I spat back.

I remember the first time anything ever happened. I was wearing a bubble guppies shirt with a denim skirt I had spilled white paint all over. I remember I was scared to be seen without my shirt on, though especially at that age it's not like I had anything to hide.

I remember I threw a fit until he ripped the shirt off my body himself.

I remember I was so so afraid of being seen without my shirt on. I was the type to wear a one-piece bathing suit because I thought showing my stomach was too risky.

I use to wonder what had made him do it. Was it the white paint? Or the skirt? Or the fact I looked at him like my own father. Maybe I did lead him on, I was always extra nice to him anyways. He always said I was too serious for my age and I needed to just be a child. 

Was it the "7 turning 18" jokes that made him think it was okay?

But now, lying in that bed, my ears tuning out the sound of Zavier pacing back and forth and screaming at me, I wondered what changed. Had I matured or secretly just gotten used to it? 

"Be quiet," I grumbled, staring blankly at the wall. "You're giving me a headache."

Zavier's pacing stopped, but I didn't even need to look to know what his expression would be.

"What?"

"I asked you to shut the fuck up."

I was ready to feel the impact of another slap, or a shove, or just anything. Even just a snobby reply. But this time nothing came. Except for the sound of a door opening and closing, and complete silence right afterward.

So I stared at the wall until my eyes stung from not blinking and a single tear fell.